--- In menseatingdisorders@yahoogroups.com, Bulimic Jockey
<maxburgi_81@...> wrote:
>
> My name is Sara & my youngest son, Max (24) has Bulimia &
Anorexia. This is his e-mail address & he left this for me to read
(honestly)!! It seems that he wants recovery, but doesn't at the
same time also. He's been struggling for 7 years & nothing seems to
have worked. Recently he got down to 113 lbs. at 5' 9" & his older
brother didn't tell me, but forced him to eat until he gained to 118
lbs. (current)! He is an amateur horse jockey & the profession keeps
telling him to stay low or lose. I've gotten the support from the
trainers & track physicians, but nobody has gotten through to him yet
that he's dying!
>
> Of course, he might not care about dying b/c I went to his public
online journal & it had this for today's entry:
> Haven't been here in sooo long!!
> Dang I'm so fat & disgusting!! I have to lose more weight. I was
down to 113 lbs. (finally), but was so fucking out of it that my
brother had me eating w/o realizing it!! I have to move away & live
on my own so I can get down farther w/o anyone ruining it for
me!!!!!! Now I'm up to 118 lbs.(sticks fingers down throat, once
again)! I need to lose 10 lbs. to be closer to my ultimate goal! Why
do guys have to be heavier than girls anyways?? My weight should be
60 lbs.! The weight of death is the only weight I want to be.
>
> My mom is going bananas trying to find a "superb rehabiliton
center" for her lovely Eating "Disordered" son!!!!!!!!!!!! Why can't
she just fuck the hell off of me & go worry about someone else who
gives a damn about their life!! I didn't ask to be born! You & dad
fucked & ended up with an ugly, fat, retarded, deaf son who wants to
DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> LET ME DIE YOU FUCKED UP PEOPLE! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE SO LET ME
DIE!!
>
> Bulimic Jockey (or as I'm now considered: Anorexic Jockey)
>
> I am terrified that he will die very soon! I mean, he wants to
weigh 60 POUNDS at 5' 9"!!!!!! Where did my husband & I go wrong??
Maybe getting our children involved in the racing circuit was the
worst idea ever? I thought I was safe b/c I had two boys. I can't
believe I could believe that it wouldn't happen to MY children!! Why
am I anything special? I'm like every red blooded American. I
should have expected this & prevented it before it started!! I just
want to know how to help him realize that he is worth so much to
everyone that knows him & we all care so much about him! Can you
give any resources for us (Max, myself, & our family)? I don't want
to bury my son. It shouldn't be that way!
>
> I'm saving this to his e-mail b/c I don't want any secrets. This
is for you Max:
>
> Max, I love you & don't want you to suffer from this DISORDER any
longer. Please, please, let us help you & move forward into the path
of RECOVERY (not "recovery")! You need to fight this DISEASE so it
won't control you any longer & so you aren't destroyed by it!!
>
> freedomisntfree2003 <freedomisntfree2003@...> wrote:
> Hi everyone!
>
> I am here if you, your child (minor or adult), and/or a friend is
> suffering with an eating disorder(s) and would like to chat. I am
> going for my CEDS (Certification in Eating Disorders Specialist
> Degree). I can tell you that if you have an eating disorder and
> suffering with chronic pain you are going to find one hell of a time
> seeking inapt. treatment because these treatment centers are stupid
> about chronic pain, narcotic pain medication(s), addiction,
> habituation, tolerance, and dependence. However, I do know of only 3
> treatment centers that do not have any problems when it comes to
> chronic pain and/or narcotic pain medication(s) for pain management.
> If anyone is interested in these 3 treatment centers please contact
> me via PM and/or e-mail.
> Also, remember that males also suffer from eating disorder too.
> If you have any questions, comments, and/or concerns, please feel
> free to contact me anytime.
> I thank you for your time and please take care of yourselves.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Sara,

How are you and Max doing? Did you receive the e-mail that I sent
you from my AOL address? Please let me know what's been happening.
If I can I would really like to help. The other day, I just started
my own group here at Yahoo Groups so if you are interested in joining
please let me know.
Max, if you read this e-mail I promise you that you can get well,
even "cured!" I am not going you a line of B. S. or lying to you. I
am living proof of this. I can also connect you with other people who
have been too.
Sara, I will e-mail you again. I have a toll-free telephone number
that you can always call me at. You both are in my thoughts and
prayers.
Take care.