Hey Jason.
No. I dont talk to anyone about anything esspecially my ED! In 5"9. 120lbs. 70
would be my ideal weight. Even if i lost 5 lbs i would be so happy. Just to know
that i accomplished something that i wanted. Im so desperate for it. I am
definitly interested in that book but i would be scared of somebody finding it
in my house I think one of the biggest things behind my ED is the fact that ive
gotten made fun of my whole life and if i gain weight it will just give them
something more to make fun of me for. Im terrified of gaining and getting
fatter. Im doing the same thing as you did. I wont eat for a while then ill give
into the food and eat so much that i wanna die after! How did you just stop
eating? Didnt your parents say anything? Everytime i go somewhere my parents ask
me what i ate and are always trying to stuff food into me. I dont want to purge
but im so desperate i just want to loose something!! Ive been trying for over a
year by cutting down on what i eat but havent lost a
pound. I always run back to the food no matter what. Im constantly judging
myself infront of the mirror and putting my fingers around my wrist to see how
fat i am. I dont want the day to come when i cant fit them. Id rather die.
Thats it for now. Take Care.
Thankyou.
Dane.

Brainbug27@... wrote:Hi Dane. I'm very sorry about your struggles. Do you
talk to anyone about
it, like a councilor or therapist? How tall are you? 70 lbs for a 16 year old
male is death. There's a book you should check out at the library. It's "My
Life as a Male Anorexic" by Michael Krasnow. He got down to 72 lbs and died
a couple of years ago. The pictures in the book are difficult to look at.

I struggled with anorexia when I was 11. I was a tad chubby and went on a
diet. My goal was to lose 15 lbs and get down to 90 lbs like my friends. Once
i got there I restricted my food intake even more and kept losing until I got
to 72 lbs. My parents made me see a doctor and he pretty much set me
straight. I restored the weight I lost and managed to stay healthy through out
school. I struggled with body image, but I still maintained the healthy weight.
It
wasn't until after I graduated high school that I went down hill again. I
fell into a deep depression and dropped out of college and spent a great deal of
time in my room. Since I wasn't working or doing school I wanted to
accomplish something so I made it a goal that I would get down to 160 lbs. At
the
time I was 180. I'm 6 foot 1/2 inches so I guess that weight was considered
healthy but I felt fat. So I when on a restriction diet and kept losing.
Nothing
seemed to matter any more so I decided to keep losing weight until eventually
I would die. When I got to 105 lbs I couldn't take it anymore. I was so
starved that I just had to give in. I binged and put on quite a bit of weight.
It freaked me out so I started purging. That's how the bulimia started. For
the past couple of years I've been binging/purging non stop. When I got down
to 99 lbs, I was sent to the hospital with a heart rate of 30 and potassium
level of 1.7. Once I got medically stable, they committed me to an ED program.
For 6 months I was in the psych ward. They kept me there until i got to my
target weight which is 173 and then sent me to a residential facility. And
here I am now. I'm so miserable at this weight and depressed about being in
this
residential place. Well, that's my story. Kind of depressing.

Dane, please don't start purging. Once you start it takes total control of
you. My digestive system is so messed up due to it. Food and liquid
automatically comes up from my stomach after I swallow. It's like I can't even
control
it. It's hell!

Talk to you later!
-Jason










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