I'm 23(almost 24), 5'9", 123lbs.(as of this morning). I've been
bulimic for about 7 years now. I'm an "amateur" horse jockey & life
has been really hard for me.

My dad is a real control freak & is still ruling my life!! I'm racing
up to 11 mounts(horses) a day, plus working in the barn & doing warm-
ups. This is b/c my DAD wants me to be a jockey. Something he
couldn't do b/c he's 6'3".

At first, I loved racing & everything dealing with it. As I turned
16, so much more was shoved on me! I needed to get out there in front
of other trainers to start getting known for more expensive mounts!!
At the time, I was 148 lbs. & seemed to be average. Then they had
a "dietitian" come in & help us get down to "peak performance"
weight. I was totally up for it b/c I wanted to succeed. My "peak
performance" weight is actually 114 lbs.(something I didn't know)!
One major problem with that, I'm 5'9"!!!! I wasn't really thinking
then about health so I started purging.

Something I should mention at this point, I usually don't binge! I
mainly purge when I eat about 100-150 cals, which is all the time!! I
haven't eaten over 175 cals in one sitting/one day (sometimes). They
usually classify bulimia as Binging AND Purging. I only do the second
half. I have dabbled a little in ANA but I usually eat something to
stay on the horses. I purge what I do eat so it's a miracle that I
stay up on my mounts.

Anyways, my dad is making me race when I'm sick. I usually get sick
only when I eat & don't purge. I've gotten run down many times after
falling off b/c my vision gets blurred & I get a real bad headache.
It also doesn't help that I have been having fevers every other day.
I get the chills in the middle of the race & try shaking the feeling
away, but I almost always lose my balance & get thrown.

I really need help. The problem is: I do NOT want to quit racing no
matter what might happen to me!!

Sorry for such a long post! Very boring I'm sure! Again, I'm terribly
sorry for bothering you with this!