To Who ever this reaches:
Hey. My name is Jared. I am a 23 year old man from Minnesota. I have been
battling anorexia and bulimia since I was 15, but have only recently, within the
last year, decided to get outside help for it. Before I was getting help, I was
constantly worried about what I was eating. I would throw up anything from a
cough drop to a bag of Oreos and a jar of peanut butter.
I was reserved about getting help, as I didn't think that other men suffered
from that. I was worried that I would only add to the gay stereotype of the
dire need to be feminine. As many factors/experiences go into eating disorders,
I know being gay was one of them---I wanted my boyfriend to be more proud of
me...I wanted my friends to be jealous...I wanted to be thin no matter the cost.
When I could, I would avoid eating altogether, but when it was nearly
impossible, I would binge and purge, in a sense.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I was on the phone with a friend telling
her about my E.D. and she came over to help me eat...I am still embarrassed that
it got that far...but the past is the past. I had a panic attack after eating a
tablespoon of rice with gravy, after which she offered me an ultimatum--either I
get help or she would get help for me. That was how I got into outpatient
therapy, as the area I am in doesn't have a specific inpatient program.
My outpatient therapy consisted of seeing a dentist, a doctor, a dietitian, and
a psychologist once a month. Although I have yet to see a dentist, I went
through about 3 months if therapy--which consisted of extremely close measuring
of my weight, mental state, blood levels, checking for organ damage....the list
goes on.
At my heaviest, I was 230 pounds, and at my lowest weight, I was at 165. I am
now at what my friends and Doctors consider a "healthy" 185lbs, but I will
always desire to be thin. Since leaving my treatment program ( due to the fact
that I am a broke ass), I have eliminated meat from my diet, eating only soy
meat ( which is completely fat free).
A lot of problems arise from being anorexic/bulimic---the one bad thing I went
through was in my hometown at a school reunion, I hadn't eaten all day then went
out all night. At 2:30 in the morning my friends drove me to the ER after I had
been involuntarily puking for 2 hours and was unresponsive. I was pumped with
IV fluid and obviously didn't need to pump my stomach, but that gave my friends,
family, and I quite a wake up call.
I will get thinner, and hopefully won't have to regress to my earlier methods,
but dire situations call for extreme methods...I can't say I won't do it again,
and I don't know if I want this to be over yet. All I know is that this ED
scared a lot of people around me...including myself.
All I ask of you guys at MTV is even if you don't decide that my story is
interesting enough, PLEASE put on the show that this is a problem faced by both
genders...I think that will help other men out there to realize that there is
help out there---if they want it.
Thanks for listening--
(Say hi to Justin Timberlake for me !!! :) )
Jared Kennedy
2521 Minnesota Ave NW #1
Bemidji MN 56601
218-209-1933 cell
218-444-8468 home



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