We posted this originally on 5/1/2003,
and just received it back in a posting
on a knife forum, so I guess it's time
to share its "wisdom" here again. Enjoy!

Crisis Management

1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. There is absolutely no substitute for
a genuine lack of preparation.
3. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
4. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
5. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
6. The careful application of terror is
also a form of communication.
7. Someone who thinks logically provides
a nice contrast to the real world.
8. Things are more like they are today
then they have ever been before.
9. Anything worth fighting for is worth
fighting dirty for.
10. Everything should be made as simple
as possible but no simpler.
11. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
12. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
13. Suicide is the most sincere form of
self-criticism.
14. If you think that there is good in
everybody, you haven't met everybody.
15. All things being equal, fat people
use more soap.
16. If you can smile when things go wrong,
you have someone in mind to blame.
17. One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
18. By the time you can make ends meet,
they move the ends.
19. Not one shred of evidence supports the
notion that life is serious.
20. There is always one more imbecile than
you counted on.
21. Never wrestle with a pig. You both get
dirty and the pig likes it.