This article is from the Concepts of Meditation
section of our web site, Meditation Station
http://www.meditationsociety.com
It is one of the ones that we most often
point to for people to check out and impliment
in their lives. This is because this perspective
is needed so often and yet is so rarely found
here in the USA andthe West in general. Enjoy!

Moha - Don't Put Up With People Who Put You Down

Did you ever have a relative or so-called
friend who consistently said demeaning and
critical things to you? "Are you going out
dressed like that?" "You'll never amount to
anything!" "Why don't you go on a diet?"
and so on, and so on. Are you still going
through this? If so, why are you letting
this go on? You are having your self-esteem,
energy, and spirit be diminished or extinguished.
Even if it is claimed that these comments were
being made "for you own good", if you look at
it objectively, you will see that they have
not brought you any benefit and in fact have
caused you to suffer. Understanding this is "Moha".

Technically, Moha translates from Sanskrit
as "Delusion". Philosophically though, it is
much more. There are probably billions of
people in the world right now who understand
the real meaning of Moha. Because of this, they
lead their lives in a much saner, rational,
inner peace-producing manner than we do in
America and other countries where the concept
of Moha is virtually unknown. Basically, it
means that you put up with stupid (although not
necessarily unintelligent), mean spirited, or
negative people just because you have some kind
of nostalgic connection to them. So, if they
happen to be related to you, have known you for
years, work with you, have the same friends, or
whatever, they feel entitled to bring suffering
into your life. Sometimes this comes in the form
of physical, mental, emotional or spiritual
direct personal attacks, and sometimes just by
their own ongoing habit of expressing negativity
about life and things in general. And you
continue to let them be part of your life.
Pretty delusional reaction, isn't it?

So, now that you know about Moha, you must,
for your own well being, cut these people out
of your life. It is very much like the suggestions
that AA, NA, and other 12 step programs make -
don't associate with people, places, or things
that will bring you down. It is really very simple.
If something brings you peace, it is "good" and
should be encouraged. If something takes your
peace away, it is "bad" and must be eliminated
from your life. Sometimes, because of economic
situations, like your job, or due to relationships,
like your in-laws, you must continue your physical
contact with the people who you realize are "bad"
to and for you. You must then at least divorce
yourself mentally and emotionally from reacting
to their comments.

As a matter of fact, you can gain from seeing
them for the pitiful beings they are and feel
compassion for them. After all, they have to
wake up every morning and spend all day in their
own miserable company. But you must never let
them "get under your skin". You owe nothing but
compassion to anyone whose words or actions
cause you to suffer. This will free you to create
a life full of those things that you have found
to be "good" for you. And you will live happily
ever after.