Dear Members,

As per the wish of one of our members, we agreed to add some smiles to
our Medicsindex Group ( for one time Only) here are some Medical Jokes
for everyone .

Stay Safe and Healthy ,,

STOP SMOKING

MEDICSINDEX


Doctor Jokes
The Snooty Receptionist



There's nothing worse than a snooty doctor's receptionist who insists
you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients. I know we
all have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office.

As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are
you seeing the doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my penis," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a
crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment
in this room full of people.You should have said there is something
wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem
further with the doctor in private."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken
her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't piss out
of it," the man replied.

The doctor's office erupted in laughter.


Doctor, I have a Headache
submitted by:
Rick - Louisville, KY

This fellow had been suffering from excruciating headaches for some
time, and finally went to a doctor. After a thorough exam, the
physician called the fellow into his office and said,

"Well, I'm not exactly sure what is causing your headaches, but we've
found a cure for them: you'll have to be castrated."

The man, needless to say, was taken aback, and told his doctor that he
believed he would try to bear the pain.

But as time went on, the headaches only got worse, and finally, the
poor fellow was driven back to the doctor.

"All right, I guess I'll have the operation," he said. When it was all
over, the man was understandably depressed, and his physician told
him, "I recommend you begin life anew. Start over from this point."

So the man decided to take the advice and went to a men's shop for a
new set of clothes. The proprietor said, Starting with the suit, looks
like you take about a 38-regular."

"That's right", exclaimed the man, "How'd you know?"

"Well, when you've been in the business as long as I have, you get
pretty good at sizing a man up", replied the salesman. "Now, for a
shirt, looks like about a 15 long."

"Right again," the man said.

The proprietor suggested, "And for undershorts, I'd say a size 36."

"There's your first mistake", the man said, "I've worn 34's for years."

"No, you're a size 36 if I've ever seen one", said the owner.

The man replied, "I ought to know what size undershorts I wear, and
I'll take 34."

The owner replied, "Well all right, if you insist, but they're going
to pinch your balls and give you headaches!!"



The Doctor's New Machine

One day John's tennis elbow was acting up and he decided to stop in
and see a doctor. When he got to the doctor's office the nurse told
him he could see the doctor in 15 minutes but, first he'd have to give
a urine sample.

John said that this was absurd but, the nurse insisted and John
complied. 15 minutes later, John was ushered in to see the doctor.

"So that tennis elbow is really acting up, huh?" the doctor said.

"The nurse must have told you," said John, wondering how the Doctor knew.

"No. It was in your urinalysis." and the doctor continued to say that
he had just purchased this new machine that could diagnose every
physical condition with total accuracy.

John didn't believe a word of this but he did agree to provide another
urine sample on check-up visit.

Two days later, John was sitting at the kitchen table with his wife
and his teenage daughter. He was telling them about this ridiculous
machine, when John decided to have a little fun with the doctor.

John pee'd in the bottle as did his wife and teenage daughter. Then
while walking to his garage he had a brainstorm. John put a few drops
of oil from his crankcase in the jar and finally beat off and put a
few drops of semen in the jar.

He drove to the doctors office, shook the bottle, then handed it to
the nurse. This time his urinalysis took half an hour. Finally, John
was ushered in to see the doctor.

The doctor looked at him and said, "I've got some bad news, smart ass.
Your daughter is pregnant, your wife's got V. D., your car is about to
throw a rod, and if you don't stop beating off that tennis elbow is
never gonna heal!"