I suppose that it would be awkward to suggest to your son that he have a
vasectomy, but I really think that that is what he should do. I got snipped
four and a half years ago, I have no children, and I am quite pleased with my
situation. I have prepared a review of messages posted to this site, and I
think that the review shows why a vasectomy is a good idea for a man in your
son's situation. Alternatively, if you or he rejects the vasectomy option, then
the review tells you his other options and the chances that he takes in using
them.

The following are all contraceptives practically available to men:

1. Condoms,

2. Testicular heating by the wet heat, hot bath method of Voegeli,

3. Testicular heating by suspensories, and

4. Vasectomy.

Some other male contraceptives, like RISUG and Nifedipine, exist but are
practically unavailable now and are not likely to be available soon.

Condoms are a quick, easy method that, if carefully used, is likely to be
effective in any given application. Condoms are also the only protection from
sexually transmitted diseases. Unfortunately, as you have seen, condoms are
prone to both accident and sabotage. I used condoms very carefully but still
had a couple of accidents. Fortunately, those accidents never led to anything,
but they could have.

Testicular heating has the advantage of causing actual sterility; thus it is not
accident-prone like condoms. For that reason, testicular heating and condoms
are natural complements. The sterility is not permanent, so a man using heat
must heat his testicles continually.

The Voegeli hot bath method is typically described as sitting in a bath at 116F
for 45 minutes per day for three weeks. Six months of sterility is said to
result. 116F is a difficult temperature to maintain without some means of
heating the water while the water is in the tub. 116F is also a difficult
temperature for many men to tolerate. Many men practicing the hot bath method
will have to use a lower temperature. Voegeli said that her method could be
practiced at temperatures as low as 107F. But, at the lower temperatures, the
period of sterility is shorter, so a man has to bathe much more frequently. The
hot bath method requires a lot of dedication and time; for that reason, it is
often impractical.

See message 314 for comprehensive information on heat methods:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/malecontraceptives/message/314

See messages 155 and 247 for the hot bath method at temperatures lower than
116F:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/malecontraceptives/message/155

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/malecontraceptives/message/247

Testicular heating by testicular suspension is done by putting an elastic band
around the base of the penis to hold the testicles in the man's abdomen. See
message 300 for more details:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/malecontraceptives/message/300

Message 19 says that testicular heating by suspension is unreliable:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/malecontraceptives/message/19

Message 19 also questions the reliability of wet heat and says that wet heat can
cause permanent sterility. But a subsequent message, no. 167, by Dr. Lissner
says that she knows of no evidence of anyone ever having become permanently
sterile from heat:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/malecontraceptives/message/167

I suspect that complementing the hot bath method with suspension would prolong
the sterility period of the hot bath method greatly, perhaps even indefinitely.
But I know of no research investigating that hypothesis. I tried the suspensory
method and found that the elastic eventually became very painful at the
underside of my penis. After I had my vasectomy, I thought of what may be a
simple solution this problem: use a couple of pads to lift the elastic from the
painful pressure point.

Several men in this group have used heat and posted about their experience, and
you can go back to read them. These messages are easy to identify.

Vasectomy causes permanent sterility and is thus very convenient and immune to
accidents. But vasectomy is surgery and is not reversible, so many guys may be
reluctant to use it for fear of surgical damage or for fear that they may decide
that they might want to become fertile again.

The only alternatives to vasectomy--condoms and testicular heating--can be
reliable, but, in ordinary use, they are not practically reliable because of the
accidents to which condoms are prone and because of the time that the hot bath
method consumes. Thus, the harsh reality of male contraception is that
vasectomy is the only method that is truly reliable in ordinary circumstances.

The conventional advice is that a man should not have a vasectomy unless he is
"absolutely sure" that he will not want to have any or any more children. I
disagree with that advice. Many women get pregnant against their partners'
wishes, men have no power to abort an unwanted pregnancy, and vasectomy is
typically a man's only reliable way to stop an unwanted pregnancy.
Consequently, if a guy is sexually active but is not prepared to have a child,
then, in my opinion, he should get snipped--regardless of his age, his marital
status, or whether he thinks that he might want a child at some future time.
Having a child with the wrong person or otherwise under the wrong circumstances
is far more horrible than not being able to have any children at all.

I don't know whether I was "absolutely sure" that I would never change my mind
when I got snipped four and a half years ago; probably I was not. But now that
I'm fixed and CAN'T have kids, the thought that I might want them never crosses
my mind. Also, knowing for sure that I can't get a woman pregnant has has made
me much more self-confident.

Messages 167 and 171 have very helpful information on vasectomy:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/malecontraceptives/message/167

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/malecontraceptives/message/171

jp

--- In malecontraceptives@yahoogroups.com, "Lady Rebecca the Egyptian"
<mzhuntress@...> wrote:
>
> Alright, I'm looking for a bit of advice. My son is just starting
> his first year of college, already has a good job with a computer
> company he interned with for a couple of summers and has a very
> bright future. The problem, is his two sisters who keep telling me
> about some of his dates and the various underhanded schemes some of
> the girls are using to try to "trap" him by getting pregnate.
>
> Since I have a close relationship with all my children, they tell me
> everything such as the one who bit a hole in the top of the condom
> and other such things that involved punctures. One in paticular,
> tried getting him drunk so he would forget the condom. Another,
> actually took the condom off him and in the quise of disposing of it
> and washing up turned it inside out and tryed to impregnate herself
> with it.
>
> So, since he's asked my advice, I'm asking here. Yes, he's already
> disposing of the condoms himself, btw. However, what is out there
> other than a vasectomy or a condom? Or is there? Yes, abstaining
> would be ideal, but when your male and 20... not terriably realistic.
>
> Ok, advice to pass along really would be great!
>
> Too bad they couldn't use something like the lapband to perform a non-
> perment vasectomy, that would be awesome.
>
> Thanks in advance for any advice!
>