In message 285, David wrote that if a man has a vasectomy, it takes
away the woman's reproductive ability as well, but if a woman has a
tubal ligation, it doesn't remove his reproductive ability. How
does that work?

It would be nice if couples always agreed on their reproductive
issues, but that often does not happen. If a woman gets pregnant,
then having or not having an abortion is her choice alone. A guy
could have a vasectomy and then regret that choice. Or he could not
have a vasectomy and then regret that choice if he relies on his
partner for contraception and she becomes pregnant.

jp

--- In malecontraceptives@yahoogroups.com, "David Brown"
<david.brown@...> wrote:
>
> Hi,
>
> > Thanks, that's very helpful! I've been anti-vasectomy but Jeff,
my bf,
> has been thinking about it. I thought it was a bad idea to think
of it as
> reversible too, and so I've forwarded your message to him.
>
> That's good. This does raise another point though. It sounds like
you aren't
> in agreement about vasectomy. That's possibly not the best way to
embark on
> using it as a method of BC. There are studies that look at
vasectomy
> satisfaction and other angles that come up with the conclusion
that the
> people most satisfied with vasectomy are those couples that were
completely
> in agreement over vasectomy being the best option, and had
considered it
> long and hard. Amongst the least satisfied with it were where
there are
> conflicts of opinion between partners.
>
> That makes sense to me. I've often heard tales of regret where the
man
> involved has had the vasectomy under pressure from the other half
(worse
> still, other half + extended family) and the regret he later feels
causes
> relationship problems. Also, at another group there are often
posts from
> fundie trolls about "He had a vasectomy against my wishes and now
I hate him
> forever", claiming the same relationship problems. Despite being
made up
> posts from the fundies, there is an element of truth in what they
warble on
> about in that if a man has a vasectomy, it takes away the woman's
> reproductive ability as well. She may be extremely grateful for
this, and
> she may not be ready to give it up yet. Therefore vasectomy,
although it
> happens to the man, and it's his body is mostly bound to be a
joint
> decision. I know there is an attitude of "My body - my decision",
but as
> both people are affected quite profoundly it needs to be a
decision both are
> in agreement with. If a woman has a tubal ligation, it doesn't
remove his
> reproductive ability, therefore the "My body - my decision"
argument is very
> different and the same reasons don't apply.
>
> I don't know your situation, but I would suggest that whilst
vasectomy might
> be the right decision for you as a couple, at the same time it
might not be.
> I'd certainly be tempted to put the decision about vasectomy on
hold until
> you can both be equally in favour of it being the primary method
of BC that
> you use.
>
> PS - sorry if this sounds like a lecture:( It's not meant to be -
just
> trying to put some outside perspective on the decisions other
people make
> regarding vasectomy.
>
> David
> www.vasectomy-information.com - Main site containing all of the
information
> in detail
> www.vasectomyblog.info - News items and new research discussed
> www.vasectomy-faq.org - Vasectomy FAQ in easy reading style
>