Hi,

> Thanks, that's very helpful! I've been anti-vasectomy but Jeff, my bf,
has been thinking about it. I thought it was a bad idea to think of it as
reversible too, and so I've forwarded your message to him.

That's good. This does raise another point though. It sounds like you aren't
in agreement about vasectomy. That's possibly not the best way to embark on
using it as a method of BC. There are studies that look at vasectomy
satisfaction and other angles that come up with the conclusion that the
people most satisfied with vasectomy are those couples that were completely
in agreement over vasectomy being the best option, and had considered it
long and hard. Amongst the least satisfied with it were where there are
conflicts of opinion between partners.

That makes sense to me. I've often heard tales of regret where the man
involved has had the vasectomy under pressure from the other half (worse
still, other half + extended family) and the regret he later feels causes
relationship problems. Also, at another group there are often posts from
fundie trolls about "He had a vasectomy against my wishes and now I hate him
forever", claiming the same relationship problems. Despite being made up
posts from the fundies, there is an element of truth in what they warble on
about in that if a man has a vasectomy, it takes away the woman's
reproductive ability as well. She may be extremely grateful for this, and
she may not be ready to give it up yet. Therefore vasectomy, although it
happens to the man, and it's his body is mostly bound to be a joint
decision. I know there is an attitude of "My body - my decision", but as
both people are affected quite profoundly it needs to be a decision both are
in agreement with. If a woman has a tubal ligation, it doesn't remove his
reproductive ability, therefore the "My body - my decision" argument is very
different and the same reasons don't apply.

I don't know your situation, but I would suggest that whilst vasectomy might
be the right decision for you as a couple, at the same time it might not be.
I'd certainly be tempted to put the decision about vasectomy on hold until
you can both be equally in favour of it being the primary method of BC that
you use.

PS - sorry if this sounds like a lecture:( It's not meant to be - just
trying to put some outside perspective on the decisions other people make
regarding vasectomy.

David
www.vasectomy-information.com - Main site containing all of the information
in detail
www.vasectomyblog.info - News items and new research discussed
www.vasectomy-faq.org - Vasectomy FAQ in easy reading style