1. At least once a day, make each child helpless with laughter.

2. Sing in the morning. It’s hard both to sing and to maintain a grouchy. This sets a happy tone for everyone.

 

3. Get enough sleep yourself. It’s so tempting to stay up late, to enjoy the peace and quiet. But morning comes fast!

 

4. Wake up before your kids. That means you can get yourself organized. It’s tough to wake up earlier, but it can make a huge difference in the quality of your mornings.

 
5. Step off the hedonic treadmill: People quickly adapt to new pleasures or luxuries, so it takes a new pleasure to give them a jolt of gratification. Cut back on treats and impulse buys for your kids. The ice-cream won’t be an exciting treat if it isn’t rare.

6. Most messages to kids are negative: “stop,” “don’t,” “no.” So try to cast your answers as “yes.” “Yes, we’ll go as soon as you’ve finished eating,” not “We’re not leaving until you’ve finished eating.” It’s not easy to remember to do this, but do try!

7. Look for little ways to celebrate. Holiday breakfasts can be a source of happiness. Think of ideas that are quick, fun, and everyone enjoys.

8. Repetition works. A friend told me he was yelling at his kids too much, so he distilled all rules of behavior into four key phrases: “keep your hands to yourself”; “answer the first time you’re asked”; “ask first”; and “stay with us” (his kids tended to bolt).

9. Say “no” only when it really matters. Wear a bright red shirt with bright orange shorts? Sure. Put water in the toy tea set? Okay. Sleep with your head at the foot of the bed? Fine. Samuel Johnson said, “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.”

10. When I find myself thinking, “Yippee, soon we won’t have to deal with a stroller,” I remind myself how fleeting this is. All too soon the age of Cheerios and the Tooth Fairy will be over. The days are long, but the years are short.

 

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