Here are some delightful little quotes...each funny and also strangely true.
Some of them are attributed to actual people...but most of the other
names I've just invented.

I'd like to CHALLENGE you to read this whole list without bursting out
at least once.

Now loosen your seat belts, and enjoy the ride...


The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
- Robert Bloch


Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
- Louis Hector Berlioz


Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones
are handicapped.
- Lay D. Driver


Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press
the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
- Phonie Gals


There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
- S. Martas


Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
- S. Martas


When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his
sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
- Grandson


Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
- Maryon Pearson


Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate
a lot of interest.
- Marie Banks


What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
- Know Petts


Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Safti Fhirst


If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- Incred U. Louis


Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
- Y. Mie


Worst excuse for not turning in homework: "I couldn't find anyone to
copy it from."
- O. Nesti


The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar
territory.
- Tin Khin


My wife and I lived happily for twenty years. Then we got married.
- Mellon Kholy


After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that
brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
- M.O. Mellon Kholy


Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
- Codek Momment


I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and
give the wrong answers.
- N.O. Testie


Who are you and how did you get in here?
Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
- Mst. Key


My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates (poor guy)


Where there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
- Sol Heir


If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's
a shipment.
- Dave Allen


A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's
out there now...trying to win a trip back!
-- Jerry Dennis


The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say
they have nothing to go on.
-- Ronnie Barker


Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
- W.C. Fields


Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers


He who had the last laugh, didn't get it.
- PJ King


I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
- Billy Connolly


I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of dumb
charades.
-- Demetri Martin






Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed putting this together :)

And if you DID laugh out loud, please reply saying "lol!".


Love and laughs

Nithya Shanti


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www.tinyurl.com/lovingsilence