Dear Friends,

I want to wish a very good morning and day to each one of you as I sit to write you this message. Some of you I have met in recent times, others, not for a long time. To each of you I send my whole hearted love and positive regard.

What I am going to share is already known to many of you. Some of you may have seen it coming. Some will be surprised. Some disappointed. Some elated and jubilant. I have experienced each of these responses from people already, and it is interesting to see how each person's inner beliefs and expectations influence the response.

Six years ago I followed my heart and went to a monastery to "go forth" as a forest meditation mendicant monk. It was a very unlikely dream come true for me and I was in bliss. From the outsider's perspective the life I chose was somewhat hard and austere, but from that of those of us who lived it, it was the pure, perfect and precious holy life which we cherished beyond measure. In my time as a monk I have met great saints and wise teachers, genuine friends and sincere colleagues. I dived deep into the ocean of the Buddha Dhamma Sangha, studied and practiced a wide variety of teachings...and perhaps penetrated a few as well.  These have easily been the happiest six years of my life.

Being a monk is a great privilege, and with great privilege comes great responsibility. The primary responsibility is to remain true to the Buddhadhamma and represent it authentically. Over the years my understanding of Buddhism, spirituality and all of life has undergone an enormous transformation. The manner in which I approach these three domains, share my understanding and express my values in action is true to my heart. Unfortunately it is not always true to classical explanations and in alignment with tradition. I have struggled with this dilemma for over two years and three options clearly emerged before me. One, to disregard my inner voice and simply follow the tradition. Second, to follow and express my own heart understanding, even if it means being a rather unconventional monk. Third, to step out of the robes and chart a whole new course, to embark on a great adventure filled with unknown perils and possibilities.

As some of would have no doubt guessed by now, the purpose of this message is to inform you that after four years with option one, two years with option two, I have now decided to embark on my great adventure, my new birth, my fourth going forth. Why the forth?
1) Physical birth ~ coming forth into physical form
2) Birth in the Dhamma ~ understanding the principles of true happiness
3) Birth in the Sangha ~ as a monk
4) Birth as a lay bodhisattva ~ a being dedicated to the enlightenment of all.

I hesitate using the term "bodhisattva" as it has several connotations. I usually prefer the term "kalyanamitra" (spiritual friend), but in this context the prior term has greater meaning. I do not see myself as a great savior of all, I just hope to be a good friend to all, contributing to their true welfare.

Ever since I was a youngster I have been inwardly guided by a twin mission:
"Being happy and spreading happiness". I became a monk hoping that if I learned to be truly happy myself, I might be able to serve others some day. The startling discovery for me has been that the secret I was searching for was always hidden within my mission itself. The secret was and is:
"Be happy by spreading happiness; spread happiness by being happy".

My transition can be summed up in this poem I composed, that many of you know already...

There is Nirvana to attain
So mindfulness we must sustain
Steadfastly we must train
And always be restrained.

and...

There is nothing to attain
Only gratitude to sustain
So let go of all the strain
And love all without restrain.

Essentially it is about my shift from becoming to being. The truth is revealed when we inwardly collapse the duality of these two seemingly contradictory verses. For the truth cannot quite be captured in words, only pointed to.

Today I will go forth from the life of a Buddhist monk into my new life. I don't have any definite plans yet. I trust that my life will unfold and I will be guided forward as I have been so far. I feel tender today, yet fresh and strong. I feel very loved and supported by the universe and so many well-wishers.

I wish to use this opportunity to express my boundless, fathomless, infinite gratitude, appreciation and love to all of you known and unknown beings who have supported me in my journey so far with your love, wisdom, service and material resources. All the joy, happiness and true goodness of my life, I share with you completely. May you rejoice in this sharing and accept these blessings of my life.

There is more to say, but I will do so in future messages.

I Bow down to the Highest in you.
Which is One with the Highest in me.
There is only One Heart Bowing
There is only This.

May you realize the Highest in this very life.
May you be healthy, happy, joyful and patient.
May you abide in inner and outer well-being.

Peace. Peace. Peace.

Nyanasanti.

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