--- In ladybustersanonymous@yahoogroups.com, "Damon" <stomachpuncher971@y...>
wrote:
> It's hard to know anymore. This desire is so complex and dark in itself that
the indecision is abundance.
>
> I've seen women holding their children as bombs explode around them and
bullets ricochet off walls near them. I've seen my friends get torn limb from
limb by land mines. And I've seen them thrown completely lifeless like a rag
doll from a quivering projectile.
>
> Yet I am still alive. I don't know what this is. A blessing or a curse. Is God
trying to punish me? If so, it's very cruel of him to do it but scything
others.
>
> I don't know.
>
> However this fantasy has been with me for most my life. Like a demon on my
left shoulder. Where's the angel on my right?
>
> Anyway, I've been considering taking a leap of faith. However I believe if I
did, God would catch me...and then let me drop for amusement.
>
> Maybe I'm over reacting. I did just lose my girlfriend (went up to Canada with
family), and I got a lousy instructor's position...guess it could all just be
stress.
>
> But still... how many demons must I kill before I can reach God?
>
> > ( (c=

You might as well take that leap of faith, because you're not about to overcome
your stomach punching fetish in your own strength. You really have nothing to
lose. And as far as God dropping you is concerned, He has promised never to
leave us or forsake us. And it's not for us to question why we have these
hangups. Does the pot say to the potter, "Why did you make me thus"? They are
givens, and it's up to us to deal with them in a manner pleasing and acceptable
to God--not nurse them, dwell on them, or be driven or controlled by them. There
are much more constructive and important things in life to give our time,
attention, and energy to. That your girl friend left you is no surprise. What
sane woman is going to get involved with a man who has no victory in an area of
his life crucial to a healthy, wholesome male/female relationship?

To read my own particular testimony, visit

thttp://www.webspawner.com/users/punchbug2/index.htmlt

I call on the memebers of this group to pray that you will be--with God's help
and by His grace--an overcomer in every area of your heart, mind, and life.

Punchbug2_2000