Deb,<br><br>It sounds like you are pretty much
like the rest of us, having to go through that stage
where you say "Okay, this is what I am, now how do I
deal with it?"<br><br>If you really think about it,
the only person who has to accept you as female is
yourself. To accept and forgive and move on through the
anger is to find peace. I gave up wishing for normal
and feeling cheated by God a long time ago. It took
almost twenty years to get over the anger, and forgive
those who had their fun at my expense, and to be the
best intersexual I could be, rather than trying to be
the "man" I couldn't. My anatomy might be confused,
but one thing I most certain of is that I am loved
and cherished by others in my life because of what I
mean to them, not because of, or in spite of my
deformities.<br><br>No one knows how hard it is to act on that advice as
I do. I will tell you it is something you have to
do if you want to end the struggling. There is no
struggling when you realize that it is what is in your heart
and character that matters, and you know who you are.
I know the confusion you speak of, and some of that
will never leave. Learn to contain that, and keep it
in perspective in your life, so it does not
overwhelm you. I do not know how to ever get rid of it, but
we can learn to control it.<br><br>Male, female,
lesbian straight or gay, it doesn't matter. If I pass for
male, and you pass for female, that's all well and
good, but trying to compare ourselves to the normal is
not fair, and for the harm it does us makes it a
nonstarter and a waste of life's energy. I am not normal, in
my body or in my heart, accepted it, and am not
afraid anymore. There are many more like me, and
reaching out and networking with them has shown me that
the things I feel and once feared are "normal" for
us.<br><br>Use the unique gifts you have been given and the
lessons life as an outsider have taught you to do what
you can to make this a better world. If I had been
born normal, I would have had it a lot easier, but
would have missed some of the wonderful things that
being what I am has brought me, things I have come to
cherish. You only get one spin at the table Deb, make it
count.<br><br>And just for the record, you look extremely female to
me in your profile picture!<br><br><br>Doug