Hi everyone,
Just writing again after a bit of silence. It's winter here in NZ, so I have
been managing to avoid the reality of my allergy for awhile. I am just writing
to vent a bit really. Tommorrow I am finally scheduled for my first appointment
with the immunologist. Of course I am terrified. Just a skin prick test, but it
gets me crying at night. I get this sick feeling of dread when I think about
having an anaphylactic attack again. I have been reading through the posts
trying to predict the odds of me having a bad reaction tommorrow. Not too high
from what I can tell. Reading through it all has reminded me of the potentially
long journey ahead. I think it is easy to kid oneself into thinking it is not
necessary, when it is winter. I have chosen to go ahead with therapy, however
because I know summer will be a nightmare without it. ..and a potential killer.I
hope the immunologists here in NZ are expert at what they are doing. It is hard
to give yourself over to others. I have to trust that they can save me, if
anything happens. Still many people go up against worst odds all the time.So
bravery is really the only choice. It seems silly to say that to everyone on
here who has faced this fear many more times than I have. The thing is, I had an
injection about 2 months ago, for birth control, and I got symptoms of low BP
afterwards, which escalated into a full-blown panic attack. The nurse of course
had asked me if I was allergic to anything, and mentioned that a small amount of
women have anaphylaxis to the injection. I had to lay down at the clinic, and I
thought I was getting anaphylaxis again. I have never reacted like that to an
injection before. Now I am too scared to get my next injection because I am
worried that the last injection was the 'sensitising dose' and I will have
anaphylaxis next time. I have read that just panicking can bring on anaphylaxis
by itself so I worry about that also. My daughter had to have stitches, and I
had to be laid down, as I was going to faint...again. Our medical center must be
getting used to me. I was never like this before. I seem to get mild panic
attacks in all sorts of situations now. I am worried that my worry itself, will
potentially make me react when my body senses that prick go into my skin. It
hasn't forgotten the sensation (hence the injection reaction)or everything that
came after. Gosh I sound like a nutter. Well, I guess it's better out than in.
Now perhaps I can have some perspective when I go to my appointment tommorrow.
Sorry to go on for so long. And thankyou for being on here.

Liz