I to,just had the surgery 4 months ago,and it is a big adjustment,but I
agree that it has alot to do with attitude.Like I told another writer,I went
to a support group when I was first able,
and it seemed to help.Also,you will get to meet other people in the same
situation as you.
just check the United Ostomy association website,and look for groups in your
area.I wis you well.

-----Original Message-----
From: ileostomy@yahoogroups.com [mailto:ileostomy@yahoogroups.com]
Sent: Thursday, March 27, 2003 4:18 AM
To: ileostomy@yahoogroups.com
Subject: The Ileostomy Group Digest Number 99



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There are 3 messages in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1. complex feelings
From: Jane Faul <miss_jane70301@...>
2. Re: complex feelings
From: Gerald Mosley <geraldkmosley@...>
3. Re: complex feelings
From: "darius" <tigersharks66@...>


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Message: 1
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2003 09:56:31 -0800 (PST)
From: Jane Faul <miss_jane70301@...>
Subject: complex feelings

since my surgery in 1997 have bag on side // feel
very unsexily attractive because men get turned off
by my appearance of bag on my side//wish i could find
someone to share life & do things with without being
treated like i have a plague of some kind









































7

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Message: 2
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2003 14:23:04 -0800 (PST)
From: Gerald Mosley <geraldkmosley@...>
Subject: Re: complex feelings


Jane,

We all go through this form of scrutiny and feel as you do about the ostomy.
However, I find my attitude and my self esteem make the ostomy a null point.
Besides, I always conceal the appliance with a t-shirt or a waist band that
covers the area. No need to show more skin than necessary.

Regards, -Gerald from Kansas



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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Message: 3
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2003 22:35:04 -0000
From: "darius" <tigersharks66@...>
Subject: Re: complex feelings

I understand how you feel even tho' I just had my surgery not even
two months ago, it makes one feel like they are now damaged goods and
that no one would want you cause you have something very very
different about you that is no easy to deal with even from our own
point of view cause it does tend to limit us and our thinking. I too
wonder if anyone will ever "want me" cause I am not that "sexy" with
a bad attached to my side and it is a bit unsightly for astetic
purposes. But in all of this I know that there is someone out there
for me who will love me and want me regardless of the bag 'cause they
will see me for who I am and I know that the same is for you Jane.

Darius

--- In ileostomy@yahoogroups.com, Jane Faul <miss_jane70301@y...>
wrote:
> since my surgery in 1997 have bag on side // feel
> very unsexily attractive because men get turned off
> by my appearance of bag on my side//wish i could find
> someone to share life & do things with without being
> treated like i have a plague of some kind
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> __________________________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Platinum - Watch CBS' NCAA March Madness, live on your
desktop!
> http://platinum.yahoo.com



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