You have my deepest sympathy with feeling unattractive, every time I
look in the mirror at my bag I loathe it, but its not the end of the
world, accept you find it horrid and move on from there.
14 years ago after suffering Chrons decease for a year and a rather
nasty series of abscesses, I had my illiostomy. At the time I was
married an already had one child. We went on to have a further two.
Unfortunately my wife developed a severe alcohol problem, my
condition not helping her, and her condition definitely not helping
me. In the end I left her and the children soon followed.
So now I am a very broke greying, single father with Chrons and a
permanent illiostomy.
Having been in an unhappy relationship for so long, and with all my
other problems I never expected to be attractive to anyone ever again.
Now having been "single" for the past couple of years I have been
very surprised to find it is no more difficult for me to have a full
and bouncy relationship than any other divorced man with children –
that is not easy but very far from impossible. And once you get to
know some one its who you are that is important. This is despite the
fact the I feel my bag is a hideous disfigurement that has on
occasion (3am when it comes unstuck usually) filled me with the
deepest depression. Unfortunately my career as a love god may now be
over. Having carried my latest lady out to her car in an unwise act
of chivalry, some thing ripped. Now I have a nasty hernia spreading
from my illiostomy. The Dr's said the can fix it – move the stoma to
the centre of my belly button.
I really don't want this but I will wait and see if I cant live with
my body the way it is before I make up my mind. – But let this be a
warning to you all – with an illiostomy you can still pick up women
with but don't try to carry them!