Rachel I think this is a great discussion!

 

My expectations of a doula are basically someone to help me labor and keep me focused.  My husband Jim is more than happy to hold my hand and say encouraging things but he can't suggest a different positions or help me stay focused and most of all when things get rough pain-wise he will be begging me to get the epidural if no one is there to keep things (read ME) calm.  He is not good in stressful situations, we both know this and all in all he would prefer to be pretty hands-off during labor.  I think having someone who has attended many births there to tell him that I am fine and that whatever is going on is normal will really help him relax.  When I suggested a doula for this birth and explained what one was his response was "Are you kidding me we can pay someone to do that?? Why didn't we get one last time?" 

 

I don't expect my doula to speak for me to my providers, I do hope if something comes up that I haven't thought of or if I am not paying attention that she would ask me "Lindsay is this part of your birth plan? or Are you really comfortable with xyz? "  and let me take it from there.  So in that way I want my doula to look out for me and to remind me of what I really want.  I know that during my labor I could give up and someone would jump in to do a c/s, so I need to someone to keep me from doing that unless its truly emergent. 

 

During my first labor I was so unfocused and felt completely powerless and due to circumstance alot things were out of my control.  But I didn't question anything b/c I was too tired, scared to care- not to mention sadly unprepared.  I think there was a good portion of labor where I never even thought about the fact that there was a baby involved I just wanted to get out of the situation I was in and there was an epidural just waiting for me- how convenient.   This time I want to make sure things go my way and when I'm not strong enough to remember how important this is to me I want someone there to remind me.
 

Lindsay
 

On 5/14/07, rzeller143@... < rzeller143@...> wrote:

Lindsay's search for a doula has brought an interesting topic to the table... What are the expectations of a doula?

 

I was thinking that, since we have moms and doulas alike on our list, perhaps it would be a good discussion.

 

Doulas, what do you believe your role is for the laboring woman?  Do you see yourselves as nurturers and caretakers, or patient advocates, or someone to guide the parents through? Perhaps all of that or some of that, to varying degrees?

 

Moms, what do you want from your doula?  Do you prefer someone who will sit aside while you labor, only assisting when called for? Do you want someone who will step in and say something if your OB, say, reaches for a scalpel to perform an unwanted episiotomy?  Do you want someone who will suggest new laboring positions, or show your partner how to use counter pressure to relieve back labor? 

 

It seems the most successful doula-client relationships stem from clear communication and understanding about what your expectations are.

 

Thoughts?

 

-Rachel

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