Healing By Helping
Debra Sedinger (Quinnsmom)

 

My son's name is Quinn Jacob Sedinger.  He was born on 8/26/04.  My husband's name is Kelly and we also have a daughter, Haley, who was five years old when her brother was born.  Due to issues at birth, he was medically fragile and had many special needs.  We cared for him at home and he lived to be 15 months and 2 days old.  He died suddenly and very unexpectly at home on 11/28/05 from complications of his respiratory issues due to cerebral palsy.

 

We had many struggles during his short life here on earth.  I spent hours searching for doctors who might improve his quality of life.  He received physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, reiki, chiropractic care, and was just being evaluated for vision services.  Our two bedroom upstairs apartment was filled with medical equipment along with special seating and therapy devices.  Some of these items were borrowed from the local equipment loan program. 

 

When our son was only six months old, we began the process of ordering his first wheelchair.  Quinn was unable to even support his head and had poor trunk control so it was obvious that he needed specialized seating and support.  The Kid Kart finally arrived just before Thanksgiving but we missed the delivery.   By this time, Quinn was 15 months old.  I called and was so grateful that they were able to make special arrangements for it to be delivered the Saturday after Thanksgiving, even though they were closed.  He would have finally been able to join us at the table for meals but he never got to sit in his chair.  He died the Monday after Thanksgiving.  After his death, we were able to donate the $4000 seating system to the equipment loan program which is always in dire need of new equipment.  I am confident that his chair is making a dramatic difference to a family somewhere in our area.  One of his therapists even had a small nameplate made to attach to the Kid Kart.  We also donated all of the remaining medical supplies to other families in need throughout the United States.

 

I have found that volunteering in my son's memory helps the most.  I usually take our daughter with me so she can help too.  When our son was alive, we were really looking forward to what we would be able to do with him in the future.  I had learned of a horse therapy program nearby that may have helped him considerably.  After his death, I felt drawn to apply there as a volunteer.  I felt that even though I had lost the opportunity to bring my little boy, I would be able to help other families who have children with similar issues.  It is hard to see the little fists that are so much like my son's, but helping with horse therapy has been my therapy.  It is an amazing thing to walk with a horse who carries a child and see the amazing changes that take place.  Children who have trouble with sitting become stronger and sit tall.  Children who are afraid and have difficuilties with socializing become confident and independent.  Children who can barely communicate learn to say or signal "walk on" to their horse.  The parents are so grateful for my help.  They have no idea that horse therapy is really my therapy.

 

When horse therapy came to a close for the winter, I found myself feeling lost and lonely once again.  Quinn's service coordinator made a connection with a friend of hers who also lost an angel with special needs.  She now has an organization in her daughter's name, called Sophie's club.  Sophia's mom connects families who have children with special needs to moms like us who have experience and time to donate.  We help with childcare needs so the parents can have a much needed break.  I remember well how desperate we were for help when our son was alive.  I will never forget what that felt like.  I am so happy to be a volunteer member of Sophie's Club.  It feels so good to be able to help other families in similar situations.  Also, it is so much fun!  I get to play with small children which makes it possible to forget my own troubles for a few hours.

 

I know my son smiles down on me when I think of him and help others.  Quite often, the sunshine breaks through and I remember our warm cuddles and the one little golden smile that made it all worthwhile.

 

Y*******Y***Debra***Y*******Y
Journeying Through Life With
Kelly, My Amazing Hubby
Momma to Princess Haley 6/19/99
Forever Missing Two Who Soar Above
The Mighty Quinn Jacob ~8/26/04 - 11/28/05~
April Sarah ~9/06~
www.caringbridge.org/visit/themightyquinn