Hi Cin,

On Sun, Dec 7, 2008 at 5:14 PM, Cin <scorpio_0462@...> wrote:

I've been a member here for a while now. As well as a couple other groups.
> I enjoy learning from others, but agree that getting shot down when you
> post, or see some people being argumentative in a thread creates loss of
> interest.


I see this comment frequently and my response is always the same: Toughen
UP! Look, life is like this. If you have an opinion, it is your opinion
and SOME others are not likely to share it. It is not as if the response
is: "You're a dope!" Unless I'm asleep at the switch ;-) I filter such
responses ... and when they are rude but enough short of that for me to let
the response through, I'll comment on that response telling people to play
more nicely.

But you have to realize that learning takes place because of DISCUSSION. I
love to have people disagree with me ... there is nothing more boring than
seeing posts that do nothing more than echo what I have said. I don't learn
anything new that way. How could I? So if we all responded to every post
with: "Oh, that's nice. Good job.", what would be the point of any of this?

A second point is that therapy is not necessarily a "soft" business. One
can't help people make change if one feels like a scared little bunny
rabbit. One has to grow some calluses in order to deal with the world out
there. If one can't bear to see one's opinion challenged, not only will one
learn little, but one is probably not in the right business to start.

Finally, it might pay to look inward and examine why one is unable to bear
criticism of one's ideas. Not being able to separate one's ego from one's
ideas is the source of many of the problems we are called on to treat. If
we have that same problem, we are ill equipped to deal with it in others ...
to say nothing of even recognizing the problem.

Also, when you open the email to find someone promoting their product.


Well, you only see one person doing promotions regularly on this list ...
Don, the list owner. And you'll probably agree, he is very reserved about
it. Others request and get permission from Don to make a short pitch, but
that is VERY seldom.

I hope this response has not frightened you off. ;-) I'm sure you have
much to add to our knowledge base here.


--
Cheers,
Mike


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