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Reply | Forward Message #3440 of 10739 |
Re: [Huntingtons Disease Support Club] First Time Communicating

I had similar problems with my mother for years before
we knew she had HD. She was never particularly nice
to us, but she became increasingly uncompromising and
even violent. My dad was the only person to intervene
for me, the last kid still living in the house.

The hard part is that as the disease gets worse, your
wife will become less and less reasonable. At some
point, you will have to take full parental control of
your family, including your wife. With my family, my
dad and I became the parent to my mother. It wasn't
easy, but you have to understand that for the most
part, she doesn't see anything wrong with her
behavior. Her brain is changing, and she just doesn't
understand.

Having young kids makes it hard. It's hard to
understand why mom is acting crazy. It was hard for
me. My mom was diagnosed when I was 18, but she had
already had it for a while. She's now 65 and in a
nursing home at end stage care. But you have to try
and explain to your kids, however you see fit, that
she doesn't mean to be this way, she just can't help
it. It won't get easier, I'm sorry to say. But you
can use it as a time to try and strengthen your
family.


> --- lionsntigers02 <lionsntigers02@...> wrote:
> > My wife was diagnosed with HD last October. This
> > diagnosis explains a
> > lot of problems we've had in our family for quite
> > some time,
> > behavioral mostly. We have a 16 yr son, 14 yr
> > daughter, and a 5 yr
> > daughter. There isn't a day goes by when my wife
> and
> > son or myself
> > have arguments about trivial things to things that
> > are very important
> > to my teenage kids. My wife is very controlling,
> > dictatorial, and
> > unbending. We've all been in counseling to help
> iron
> > out problems,
> > which has helped, but it is so laborious. My 14 yr
> > daughter lived with
> > her grandparents this past school year because of
> > the severity of
> > problems between her and her mom. The move was
> > initially because we
> > thought it was our daughter problem, now we know
> > different. She will
> > be returning home for the summer, and wants to,
> with
> > the agreement
> > that she can retreat to grandmas if things get
> > really bad.
> >
> > Sorry about this long intro. I'm a teacher and am
> > not going to work
> > this summer cause I guess I'm expecting the worst.
> I
> > know thats bad,
> > but probably realistic.
> >
> > I walk a fine line, advocating for my kids and
> > supporting my wife's
> > view when it is rational and fair. The latter
> > doesn't happen very
> > often. I want to with all my heart dignify my
> > wife's views and
> > parental rights, but sometimes I just can't. I
> have
> > to advocate for my
> > children!
> >
> > Can anyone give me some advice for remaining sane
> > myself, advocating
> > for my children, and dignifying my wife?
> >
> > Kim



=====

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www.candelabra.org







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Mon Jun 7, 2004 3:46 pm

nightshade_cnd
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Message #3440 of 10739 |
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My wife was diagnosed with HD last October. This diagnosis explains a lot of problems we've had in our family for quite some time, behavioral mostly. We have a...
lionsntigers02
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Jun 3, 2004
4:09 am

Hey.. I got some suggestions for your children.. if they get online.. theres a group called the NYA its for youth aged 9-29 living with hd.. there are so many...
Tara Bintliff
tara1644
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Jun 3, 2004
1:35 pm

I had similar problems with my mother for years before we knew she had HD. She was never particularly nice to us, but she became increasingly uncompromising...
nightshade
nightshade_cnd
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Jun 9, 2004
3:17 am

Hello Tara my name is Rita and my daughter (10) is at risk for HD Her grandfather past away last year from the disease and her two younger step-sisters (8) and...
RITA ULIBARRI
rita_jacquia
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Jun 21, 2004
6:39 am

Dear Kim, My goodness, what a tough spot to be in. To daily have to choose between being a good spouse and a good parent. I don't have any good advice, because...
califgrapes
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Jun 7, 2004
3:26 pm

I had similar problems with my mother for years before we knew she had HD. She was never particularly nice to us, but she became increasingly uncompromising...
nightshade
nightshade_cnd
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Jun 9, 2004
3:17 am

Kim, I was just wondering if your daughter has come home yet for the summer, and if so, how it is going. It it such a hard thing to be caught in the middle and...
LeAnn
califgrapes
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Jun 15, 2004
1:58 am

... LeAnn, Yes my daughter has been home with some turbulent moments with her mom, but she's been hanging out with her older brother and having a great time! ...
Kim
lionsntigers02
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Jul 6, 2004
4:42 am
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