Humor Brief

Air travel may be common, but it doesn't have to be boring. Sometimes airline attendants (and passengers) can make the experience entertaining. Here are a few examples that have been heard or reported.


"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."


Heard after a hard landing in Salt Lake City: "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault... it was the asphalt!"


After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. Once the smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."


After an airplane left Kennedy Airport and reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made this announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. The weather ahead is good, and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now, sit back and—OH, MY GOD!"

Silence followed. After a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

And the best line was from a passenger in Coach who said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"


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For the Health of It:  Have you noticed how humor can dissolve tension, anxiety, anger, or grief? It's been said that if you can laugh at it, you can live with it. (That might explain why my wife is always laughing at me.) Remember, a person without a sense of humor is like a car without shock absorbers.

This Jest In:  Summer isn't over yet. When's the last time you went to the Buffalo Zoo? Martin's Fantasy Island? Six Flags? Or how about having a picnic in the park? Go ahead. Make time for sun while it's warm and funny!

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Humor Briefs are provided by the Humor & Health Association of WNY, an affiliate of The Wellness Institute. It's only about 4.3 laughs per month, but we hope it makes a difference. Have a fun(ny) joke, quote, idea, or event? Please reply to let us know!