To My Very Dear Family & Friends,

As I write this letter to you, I do so with a very heavy heart, so
overwhelmed with a mixture of feelings that it is hard to know even
where to begin. So let me start by thanking each of you for your
loving kindness and generosity to me in the last weeks. While I have
always treasured each of you, since December 11th the love and
support that has come to me, and in honor of Joseph, has been nothing
short of amazing. Your love and prayers are so much appreciated.

Even though some of you already know details about what has
transpired here in Leogane since December 11th, others do not;
therefore this paragraph may be repetitious for some. But I also
know that there have been many versions of the story, so I will give
the correct information. Early in the morning on December 11th, on
his way to help a family member who had been injured, and while
giving a ride to 2 foreign missionaries who had just arrived in the
country, Joseph was shot and killed by a gang of Aristide loyalists
(chimere) who have taken over control of the area in which he was
found. He was driving a clearly identified hospital vehicle, and the
killing was unprovoked. After he was killed, a gang member used
Joseph's phone and called us to tell us that he was dead. The 2
missionaries miraculously survived, but were so traumatized that
their embassy had immediately airlifted them out to their home
country. It was days before we were even able to identify the
missionaries. Eventually one of them was able to talk enough so that
she could give me the bare minimum of details. What she told me
confirmed beyond doubt that Joseph had died while the car was fired
upon at a chimere roadblock . The situation has been complicated by
the fact that the killers had removed his body from the vehicle
before we could get anyone in law enforcement to retrieve the truck.
The place where Joseph's truck was found is in a very dangerous area,
and no one-neither UN troops nor Haitian police-were willing to go to
get it. Days transpired before the truck was recovered; its
condition also confirmed the violent nature of his death. Since then
the gang has refused to release Joseph's body to us, despite the
generous and sometimes risky efforts of an American priest who works
in Cite Soleil. Thus it is very unlikely that we will ever recover
Joseph's remains. That is a reality that quite literally breaks my
heart, because I want desperately to lay him to rest next to his
mother's grave in Lavalle, the town where he was raised. I would
like to say good-bye and honor him as he deserves to be honored. On
December 18th we had a memorial Mass at St. Rose of Lima parish
church in Leogane, the same church in which we were married less than
a year before; a week later another Mass was offered in Lavalle.
Throughout this ordeal, local authorities have been of minimal help;
any "investigation" has been accomplished by me and some of Joseph's
coworkers and family. However, many, many friends and family
inundated the US Embassy, members of the US senate, and the local
police with hundreds of phone calls urging action. It is only
through that help that any progress was made.

The loss of Joseph has been devastating for me. We had a wonderful
married life and so many plans for our future. Joseph was as kind,
loving, and generous a person as ever lived. He loved his family and
his country, and he wanted so much to work to help others in Haiti
improve their lot in life. His death was senseless, and robbed us of
our future and the country of an extraordinary man. Through all of
this I have been supported by family and friends. My parents and
brother arrived here within 24 hours, Joseph's brother and sister-in-
law came quickly thereafter, and other Haitian and American friends
who had previously worked with Joseph in Haiti traveled here for the
memorial service. Churches all over the USA prayed for us. A dear
Haitian priest friend traveled many hours to come and be with us. In
the last 3 weeks I have experienced the horror of Joseph's passing-
which still seems like a bad dream to me-Christmas, our first
anniversary on the 26th, and New Year's Eve and Day. All would have
been times of celebration for us, but instead they were so painful.

On January 7th I will be leaving Leogane to return to Knoxville to be
with my parents for a while. I will spend at least several months
working in the states to orient the new Executive Director of the
Children's Nutrition Program of Haiti (CNP), and working on a Project
Manual. After that my future is uncertain. While I try to find
peace after this tragedy, I will take time to visit with friends and
family. What to do next is a major question in my own mind. I do
not know what my future will be. I do know that I love the Haitian
children with whom I worked, and want the program to thrive. But I
am not sure of my role in the immediate future; that is a matter I
will discuss with the board when I get home.

Please continue to hold me in your thoughts and prayers. Not being
able to recover Joseph's remains is heartbreaking, as it is difficult
to find any peace in coming home to the USA without a funeral and
while leaving some questions unanswered. Not knowing where he is
causes significant hurt. In the year ahead I hope to find peace and
healing, and define a place in the future. Please remember me and
Joseph's family in your prayers, so that we can all have strength and
courage and that we will find some peace in the year ahead.

At the request of family and friends, the Joseph Dorvil memorial fund
has been established, and I am very grateful to those who have made
donations. The fund will be used to support young Haitians with
educational scholarships and in small business endeavors, as a way
for me to respect the dedication Joseph had towards improving the
lives of those around him.

My wish for each of you is for a year ahead filled with happiness in
the company of your loved ones.

Love,
Cathy

=====================================
Thought you might be interested in the most recent news from Cathy
Speraw.

Cynthia Calhoun

You can reach Cathy by email at csperaw@....

I'm certain that any cards of sympathy or donations to the
educational fund in Joseph's name would reach Cathy at:

CNP, HSC
Attn: Cathy Speraw
3319 Nixson Pike
Chattanooga, TN 37415