Sory for taking so long to reply, thanks for you kind words, they
actually did chear me up a lot, but I was too depressed at the time
to reply, feeling a bit better now :-) -

-- In hpvuk@yahoogroups.com, adxxxxxxxxxx <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> Yeah, I know... I find it strange that there are loads of chat
> groups, support lines etc. in the States, specifically for people
> with HPV, but there seems to be jack-shit in the UK!?

I think personally the NHS has a lot to do with this, I mean most of
the Dr's I have seen, no make that all the Dr's just dismiss My
symptoms as nothing to worry about, perfectly normal, blah blah. I
know I've got HPV and its just fucking annoying that because I
havn't got 6 foot Cauliflower lesions hanging off my cock they
refuse diagnose me, treat me and or give me any counselling.
Instead they insult my intelligence, tell me there's nothing wrong
with me, refuse to give me any treatment, and leave me with a head
so fucked I genuinely feel like topping myself. I have seen 6
different Dr's, all of whom re-iterate the same ballshit. If my case
is anything to go by I am not surprised that officially the UK seems
to be a HPV free area. I guess combined with the british attitude
to Sex, and our less open approach maybe could contribute as well?

>I was
> feeling much the same as you a couple of months ago - damn
> lonely and hopeless at the idea of not being able to have a
> relationship with someone i care about because of the
> fear/anticipation of having to tell them about having HPV and that
> i will pass it on to them. Also, I've broken up with the girl that
i
> think may have given it to me, but am still in contact (long
> distance) and still in love with her - so have found it very
> difficult
> to work up the courage to tell her something that would likely
> sour all memories and ties.

That's a difficult one, to tell or not to tell, I mean on the one
hand, the whiter than white totally moral thing to do is tell her,
because of the risk of cervical cancer, the thought of her passing
the virus onto others, etc. On the other hand, ignorance is bliss
and lets face it the majority of people have HPV anyway, so in the
grand scheme of things will it make any difference? I really don't
know the answer to that one. I guess I have a similar situation, I
still see the last person I slept with occasionally, I'm pretty sure
she didn't give me HPV, but I'm sure I exposed her to it, and she
may well be a carrier now, she seems totally happy and completely
unaware of anything. Maybe I am weak, but I feel it is best left
alone, I think it would only cause unnecessary anxiety and pain if I
told her.

> Anyway, now though I have to be honest and say that I'm just
> concentrating on getting rid of symptoms (the warts) and then I'm
> just gonna carry on as usual (was never especially promiscuous
> anyway, so not really that big a change to 'go slow' etc.), but be
> very adamant about wearing protection to reduce risk of passing
> it on, because when u see the reports on how many people are
> expected to be carriers without showing symptoms (and it's the
> symptomless strains of HPV that are the most dangerous - for
> cervical cancer in women etc.), and also considering that it's
very
> difficult to test for in women (and nigh impossible in men)
there's
> a pretty high chance that many of the partners you will be or have
> been with, have already got it before you - yet because u know
> and they don't u are going to be the one to bear the brunt!? It's
> just too psychologically damaging to wrap up your sexual being
> because of something that isn't intrinsically damaging, or
> life-threatening, it's just the cause of something embarrassing
> and unsightly, which noone wants to talk about or deal with cos it
> involves SEX, or even worse GENITALIA!!? Bollox to that! Also,
> with the prospects of a new vaccine to come out in the next few
> years, there's a good chance we can all be cured in time - or at
> least from being contagious, and that's really what this is all
> about, cos u can get rid of the warts, it's just the idea that
(being
> of common sense and with a conscience) you don't want to pass
> it onto someone else isn't it? I say u just deal with getting rid
of
> the symptoms first, then look at taking things slowly for a good
> while (maybe at least 6 months - u never know it might get u into
> the mindset for the RIGHT relationship with the RIGHT person
> with putting sex on a slightly lower priority), then make sure u
> use protection, then with some luck u'll not have had a
> recurrence and u can have a reasonably good prospect of not
> being contagious. Especially if u look after ur immune system by
> taking lots of vitamins (esp. Vitamins E and B complex - +
> anything else like co-enzyme Q10) and u stop smoking etc.... If u
> really can't hack it now, and u really feel suicidal (i know that's
> not
> necessarily a hollow threat if ur in depression and have an
> honest disposition and a serious conscience) then fuck it, just
> ignore it and carry on, there's a 60/30 chance that ur not making
> any difference to someone else even if u have passed it on - but
> it's CERTAINLY not worth losing someone's life over! I don't think
> so anyway. If i was given the choice of the person that gave it to
> me committing suicide or me contracting HPV, I'd say HPV
> thanks and thank god she's still around!
> Anyway, take care of yerself.
> A.
>

Thanks, I think that's a pretty realistic way to carry on with your
life. I just know myself, and I know I'm fucking crap at keeping
secrets, and I would really have problems doing the deed with
someone, I'd feel so guilty for putting them at risk. I just can't
get my fucking head round it; I guess I need to try. Its such a
fuckup. Its like all my beliefs, all my Morals, all the things I
once held dear to myself are in turmoil with the fact that, yes I
want a girlfriend, and I don't think realistically there's any
chance of finding one who wouldn't run a mile if I told her I've got
HPV. It just keeps going round and round in my head. All I know is
the moral high ground is a lonely place. Look after yourself :-)

DT


--- In hpvuk@yahoogroups.com, adxxxxxxxxxx <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> Yeah, I know... I find it strange that there are loads of chat
> groups, support lines etc. in the States, specifically for people
> with HPV, but there seems to be jack-shit in the UK!? I was
> feeling much the same as you a couple of months ago - damn
> lonely and hopeless at the idea of not being able to have a
> relationship with someone i care about because of the
> fear/anticipation of having to tell them about having HPV and that
> i will pass it on to them. Also, I've broken up with the girl that
i
> think may have given it to me, but am still in contact (long
> distance) and still in love with her - so have found it very
> difficult
> to work up the courage to tell her something that would likely
> sour all memories and ties.
> Anyway, now though I have to be honest and say that I'm just
> concentrating on getting rid of symptoms (the warts) and then I'm
> just gonna carry on as usual (was never especially promiscuous
> anyway, so not really that big a change to 'go slow' etc.), but be
> very adamant about wearing protection to reduce risk of passing
> it on, because when u see the reports on how many people are
> expected to be carriers without showing symptoms (and it's the
> symptomless strains of HPV that are the most dangerous - for
> cervical cancer in women etc.), and also considering that it's
very
> difficult to test for in women (and nigh impossible in men)
there's
> a pretty high chance that many of the partners you will be or have
> been with, have already got it before you - yet because u know
> and they don't u are going to be the one to bear the brunt!? It's
> just too psychologically damaging to wrap up your sexual being
> because of something that isn't intrinsically damaging, or
> life-threatening, it's just the cause of something embarrassing
> and unsightly, which noone wants to talk about or deal with cos it
> involves SEX, or even worse GENITALIA!!? Bollox to that! Also,
> with the prospects of a new vaccine to come out in the next few
> years, there's a good chance we can all be cured in time - or at
> least from being contagious, and that's really what this is all
> about, cos u can get rid of the warts, it's just the idea that
(being
> of common sense and with a conscience) you don't want to pass
> it onto someone else isn't it? I say u just deal with getting rid
of
> the symptoms first, then look at taking things slowly for a good
> while (maybe at least 6 months - u never know it might get u into
> the mindset for the RIGHT relationship with the RIGHT person
> with putting sex on a slightly lower priority), then make sure u
> use protection, then with some luck u'll not have had a
> recurrence and u can have a reasonably good prospect of not
> being contagious. Especially if u look after ur immune system by
> taking lots of vitamins (esp. Vitamins E and B complex - +
> anything else like co-enzyme Q10) and u stop smoking etc.... If u
> really can't hack it now, and u really feel suicidal (i know that's
> not
> necessarily a hollow threat if ur in depression and have an
> honest disposition and a serious conscience) then fuck it, just
> ignore it and carry on, there's a 60/30 chance that ur not making
> any difference to someone else even if u have passed it on - but
> it's CERTAINLY not worth losing someone's life over! I don't think
> so anyway. If i was given the choice of the person that gave it to
> me committing suicide or me contracting HPV, I'd say HPV
> thanks and thank god she's still around!
> Anyway, take care of yerself.
> A.
>
>
>
>
> --- In hpvuk@yahoogroups.com, dreamtripa <no_reply@y...>
> wrote:
> > Ok sory, I don't meen to be so negative :S Just strikes me as
> odd,
> > no one from this country seems to be talking about this shit.
Is
> > there somewhere else online I have missed for UK people
> with HPV?
> > Please let me know :)
> >
> > --- In hpvuk@yahoogroups.com, dreamtripa <no_reply@y...>
> wrote:
> > > I know, but where are they all?!! I really do feel totaly at
the
> > end
> > > of the line. SO hopeless its untrue. I can see no other way
> out
> > > than Suicide. I know that seems strong, and there is more to
> life
> > > than sex, and thats the only thing this effects, but I just
feel
> > so
> > > lonely. What have I done to deserve this? I know its not a
> good
> > > time of the year but...
> > >
> > > Why does no one post hear? Surely there must be some
> more people
> > > dealing with this in the UK?
> > >
> > >
> > > --- In hpvuk@yahoogroups.com, adxxxxxxxxxx <no_reply@y...>
> wrote:
> > > > hey, don't despair - there's reportedly 2 thirds of the
country
> > (i
> > > > was told by a doctor yesterday) silently (and most
> > unconsciously)
> > > > nodding in answer to that question, just it's not the time
of
> > year
> > > > anyone wants to deal with it probably!?
> > > >
> > > > --- In hpvuk@yahoogroups.com, dreamtripa
> <no_reply@y...>
> > > > wrote:
> > > > > God it seems like no one in the UK has this, or is it just
> me?
> > > > > If anyone ever wants to mail me please do! :)