if its any help... I told my kids who were 7 & 9 at the time through the help of
Barnados who offer a project for affected and infected kids, they explain in
basic terms how the body works without and with HIV so by the time you or they
disclose their/your status etc there's nothing for them to be scared of and all
their questions have sort of already been answered. This was great for us. My
kids weren't even bothered, they asked questions like are we still going
swimming Friday? And of course when all their answers were YES,and I kept
reassuring them 'it just means I take some pills everyday thats all,' they were
fine. We did have some hair raising moments when they chose to start discussing
the topic out in public whilst walking past a full bus stop and on top note came
out with 'Mum, you know your HIV...' (and the whole bus stop went silent and
stared) so we then added that it was important for them to realise Mummy didn't
want complete strangers at
bus stops to know really and although it shouldn't be something to be ashamed
of some people don't fully understand HIV and could be frightened or not like
hearing about it so Mummy would prefer it if they asked any questions AT HOME -
IN PRIVATE!!! All has been fine since though. One son chose to be tested to see
if he had ITthe other chose to not (although due to them being 6 & 8 when I
contracted it there wasn't any risk anyway) but he was happy to know he was
negative and that was their right.

 All I can say is you know your own kids, grandkids etc and you know your
relationships and how you would feel if they had HIV and did or didn't disclose
to you. Its a very personal choice. Mostly I have only had positive, supportive
reactions off friends and family although many have burst into tears and got
very upset and angry with my partner initially (but there again if I was
ignorant to it and told it about one of them maybe I would too?) And they are
all fine now!!!




________________________________
From: Sherri Proby <sgproby@...>
To: hivaidsnetwork@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, June 26, 2009 3:17:04 AM
Subject: [The HIV/AIDS Network®] Re: [The HIV/AIDS Network®] Re: [The HIV/AIDS
Network®] Re: [The HIV/AIDS Network®] Re: [The HIV/AIDS Network®] just found
out!!!






I really do not believe him and i can truly see that he is not telling me the
truth.  Since he has told me he is walking around like nothing has happened.  I
cry every night and wonder why me, i have been a very good wife and mother.  And
that is another thing we have children and grand children what do we tell them
or should we tell them????

--- On Thu, 6/25/09, loren m <zzmike49@yahoo. com> wrote:

From: loren m <zzmike49@yahoo. com>
Subject: [The HIV/AIDS Network®] Re: [The HIV/AIDS Network®] Re: [The HIV/AIDS
Network®] Re: [The HIV/AIDS Network®] just found out!!!
To: hivaidsnetwork@ yahoogroups. com
Date: Thursday, June 25, 2009, 3:10 PM

Hello Sherri,as for the oral sex,Yes it is possible( although unlikely)to get
HIV from recieving oral sex from someone infected.This can occur if the person
has an open sore in the mouth.I haven't heard of a case of HIV transfer from
recieving oral,but it is feasable.As for his appology,only YOU can can determine
it's sincerity.Not having sex with you confuses me.He can use a condom.But
turnabout is fair play.Don't deprive yourself.I know this is easy for ME to
say,but at least give some thought to living YOUR life.His actions should not
interfere with your happiness.

--- On Tue, 6/23/09, Sherri Proby <sgproby@yahoo. com> wrote:

From: Sherri Proby <sgproby@yahoo. com>
Subject: [The HIV/AIDS Network®] Re: [The HIV/AIDS Network®] Re: [The HIV/AIDS
Network®] just found out!!!
To: hivaidsnetwork@ yahoogroups. com
Cc: jsparks28@kc. rr.com
Date: Tuesday, June 23, 2009, 8:55 PM

Thanks i really do need your friendship at this point in my life, even though we
have been married for 31 years for the past 8 year there has been no sex, i was
always thinking why is he not wanting to have sex with me and now  I know!!! he
said this was seven years ago when he was OLNY having oral sex given to him and
he was not giving it back!!!! i do not know what to believe anymore!!! I did not
know you could get HIV by just getting oral sex and can you explain this to me. 
I am so hurt every time i look at him I do not see the sam person I married, He
said he was sorry but did he say that because of the HIV and he thinks  that I
will leave, what shall I do? HELP ME PLEASE

--- On Tue, 6/23/09, jsparks28@kc. rr.com <jsparks28@kc. rr.com> wrote:

From: jsparks28@kc. rr.com <jsparks28@kc. rr.com>
Subject: [The HIV/AIDS Network®] Re: [The HIV/AIDS Network®] just found out!!!
To: hivaidsnetwork@ yahoogroups. com
Cc: "realhurt09" <sgproby@yahoo. com>
Date: Tuesday, June 23, 2009, 12:17 AM

Realhurt my heart is with you honey.I had been married for 19 years and in
January 2009 was when my husband was HIV POS.This group is an "EXCELLENT"
support system.When we found out in January this year our infectious disease
doctor recommended the following web site www.cdc.gov it has lots of great
information. I was really scared and I just don't know how why or when he
contracted it.My husband is in the advanced stages.He's at stage four.The
Infectious disease doctor that we see has told us that it's possible for my
husband to live quite awhile.However he must see the doctor regularly and that
though there's no cure for it at this time that he can live a normal life.I
wondered the same thing the day that we were told back in January ?HOW COME THIS
HAS HAPPENED ?WHEN?and had my husband ever been unfaithful to me.However you
will find that there are many ways that one can contract the AIDS virus.Don't be
ashamed be as supportive as you possibly can..For
though that I know it's really hard and one heck of a shock after you been
married for 31 years.You as a wife and life long partner might experience the
following in which I myself as a wife have experienced. "Sadness ,queasiness
when it comes to wondering what his life expectancy might be, mood swings
,depression, wondering if I could also be HIV POS,wanting to just be home and
spend time together and only go out when needed,Is it my fault,What did I ever
do wrong to deserve this for my lifelong partner,Going around when you're by
yourself and asking what in the heck did I ever do to deserve this for the love
of my life,Asking your's elf how or when do I need to tell my family.Most
importantly try and be as supportive as possible to your mate.Accompany him to
all doctor visits.So that if you've got any questions you can ask the doctor
then.If you still are intimate start using Latex condoms (this is what our
doctor advised).Ask the doctor to test you
so that you can know if you have it also.The started my testing in February and
will be testing me every 6 months at this time.Unless I start to have symptoms
that he had before we found out.Thise symptoms was unexplained weight loss,high
fever,cough, vomiting, throwing up blood.This is not to scare you but,this is
what we experienced before we found out.You can check with him how he's feeling
what his thoughts are on being HIV POS and just let him know that you are there
for him thru thick and thin.I made myself do that because,I felt that with as
long as we've been married that it was important for him to hear that.As I as
quite sure that my husband wondered if I hated him because ,of it.You know when
one gets married it says "Until Death Do Us Part"even though that in situations
like this one does wonder if God is trying to punish or destroy a marriage would
like to say a big thank you to all whom may read what I've shared.It's my hope
that courage
and strength may be found in having read what I wrote straight from my heart.I'm
here for support and may you find comfort in knowing that all our in my thoughts
and prayers.This is not an easy thing to go through and folks can't and
shouldn't endure this alone.I'm here and will answer anyone whom wants or needs
to contact me.
Jamie
---- realhurt09 <sgproby@yahoo. com> wrote:

============ =
Just found out that my husband is hiv pos!!!! have been married 31 years and I
am still hurt do not know what to do????? help

------------ --------- --------- ------

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