A member wrote:  What's all this crap! Would I be happier with more hair? I doubt it.

WHS Replied:

May we suggest some more tolerance, friend? It is possible that some bald people who face discrimination and humiliation due to that physical attribute may be happier with a fuller head and better physical appearance. Please do not see this as an endorsement of the fact that physical attractiveness is the key to happiness but the association with attractiveness and happiness is
undoubted. Nor do we encourage adverstiments to be engaged in a reckless manner. Cheers
WHS.

The member defended: 

I was only objecting humourously to the placing of what I felt was an unneccessary ad on the site.  But, in taking me so seriously you have raised some important issues regarding the relationship between physical attractiveness and happiness. My understanding of the scientific research into the matter is that the relationship is not so strong. What is strong and powerful however , is the pressure that society and the media put on people to make them believe that changing their physical appearance will make them happier and more fulfilled.
This is leading to an obsession with straight teeth, big boobs, small boobs, perfect hair, straight noses etc etc and a dissatisfaction with the bodies we were born with and feel somehow must be improved. If people can't see through this sham and accept and admire people as complete human beings fully capable of being happy, sad loving and everything else regardless of their shape, size or attractiveness then they are to be pitied.  Rather that feeling sympathy for people whose attractiveness you are unable to appreciate and whose happiness you seem to believe would be improved if their appearance was other than it is you should reflect carefully on your own prejudices and values.

WHS Replied:

If your objection was a humor there was something lacking in the language used to express that intent and the language being degrading did not send that message as clearly as it could be done. That fact is important in drafting posts for the groups because with all written communications there is a lot of room for miscommunication and misapprehension. Although your initial intent was clearly not to humor the advertiser, who should not have done the advertising in the first place, if you wish to substitute that view now, that is perfectly feasible and being tolerant and positively inclined group dedicated to happiness promotion, we will all allow you to do so. You may also wish to reconsider your position on the relationship between happiness and physical attractiveness. Facts do not support views. You may wish to review the essay called the business of being happy posted on the website which in fact is the central theory of this group and the WHS.

The pressure that you allege that advertisers placed on buying product to improve physical attractiveness is clearly undeniable but who is responsible for curbing that? Does the fault not really belong to the consumers? Why not reduce the consumerism that we living in the industrialized world are addicted to?

The goal of accepting and admiring all humans  as complete  and fully capable of being happy, sad loving etc., is somewhat flawed. We are of the view that a substantial proportion (may be 30%) of humans are inherently or genetically not capable of happiness and even take steps to ruin the happiness of the remaining 70% to the best of their ability. However desirable and idealistic, mutual acceptance is not a widely practiced human trait. We all are too tempted to reject and divorce others. I hope you are aware of the fact of the 60% divorce rate. Tragic but true, and certainly not conducive to happiness of anyone other than the divorce lawyers.

Even infants pay more attention to their mothers if they are attractive (hot) looking. In other words human are biologically programmed to pay attention to beauty. That even has a survival value and helps select more attractive people and eliminate the less attractive ones. There is a clear correlation between mental and physical health with the looks. Hotter looking men and women are generally smarter and healthier too. In other words better looks are an outward expression of “inner beauty” that most of us speak of. When people practice honesty and healthy lifestyles their looks improve. The fact that people look “sick” when they have minor affliction as common cold should leave no doubt in your mind that good looks mean superior health and same is true of the mental healthy as well. Depressed people have a pulled face and so on. Happiness can not be separated from good mental and physical health.

Biologically humans are programmed to ignore and dislike the unattractive and that must be willfully overcome and no all of us succeed with that, as we are not all Mother Teresa, nor is it reasonable to expect that from the human race Putting others down for having failed to act in that Saintly manner is overly prejudicial and judgmental and a self defeating  viewpoint because in that event you are guilty of the same sin that you are casting stone upon others for. Most of us are and going to remain unable to appreciate the beauty of the ugly looking people. There is data that the more attractive looking children get more attention and less punishments from their parents and that is a subconscious response.

 Having said that we would still recommend to take all steps necessary to accept the less attractive to the best possible extent, admitting that it is not easy as it is certainly an uphill task and would require effort. Failing to exert the necessary effort is the biggest human sin and all of us are guilty of it to some extent. In fact we are biologically programmed to be lazy and being industrious is an acquired or learned trait. Infants and even teenagers are programmed to sleep for over 14-18 hours – almost reminiscent of sloth.

 There are clear rewards to both the loved and the lover and does promote happiness if conscious steps are taken to accept the poor and ugly people. That is what we strongly recommend be practiced while admit that success may not come easy. There is no better morality lesson for human to love and accept others in an honest manner. That is one line summary of all the ten commandments.

Your directive that we should reflect carefully on our own prejudices and values is somewhat redundant and largely unhelpful for being vague. Such generalized and vague remarks do not provide any guidance to anyone because given our limitations we are capable of improving only one small item of our views at a point. Firstly no specific viewpoint that you found erroneous with us was pointed out and secondly we are not programmed to be generally careful. That word defies definition that has practical significance. For example my fathers advice to drive “carefully” left me wonder how one cares about the driving. Driving under the speed limit and keeping the vision focused on the road , the road signs and the dials of the car would make a lot more sense to me. Further it is not reasonable that people be requested to abandon their prejudices and viewpoints. We are what we harbor the prejudices about. One could hold a pro abortion or anti-abortion viewpoint, be for or against death penalty and the gay marriages etc.

As long as those views are held by each of us with full acceptance of the others, we can not and should not be faulted. It must be distinguished from prejudging which means coming to a conclusion or rendering a view without scrutinizing sufficient pertinent information, something we are all often guilty of , due to the inherent habit of being lazy. In fact I am tempted to allege that you have fallen into that error or prejudging us because you have relied on miniscule amount of irrelevant and misapprehended evidence and have not engaged in deliberation of any extent. The trouble with pointing fingers at others is that in the end one of the two or both would come out of it wounded emotionally. Therefore we recommend that without alleging any wrong on the part of others we should focus on making constructive suggestions.  For example without telling a teenager that he is eating wrong type of foods, simply recommend what you believe is a healthy and balanced diet. There is nothing dirtier than this blame game which we strongly recommend be refrained from.

We are pleased to see that some meaningful debate has not been triggered for which we would be found wanting in our obligations if we failed to thank the hair growth advertiser. I hope you saw that there is a silver lining to even the apparently “dark” or wrong actions. Time taken to do the required thinking is always well spent and promotes happiness. Being hostile and vindictive to everyone indiscriminately on prejudging things is certainly the evil that we need to eradicate.

Let us keep debating on these issues and keep advancing our viewpoints in a most tolerant way with the goal of truly making others happier people. If our intentions are honest, despite all the debates, we are certain we will come out better off from it. Optimism is the key.

Cheers.

Ha Ha Ho Ho He He

Carole Ann Brown