WILL THIS BE DEAR JOHN LETTER?

[This is an example of how WHS proposes to address the issues of those who are
mentally competent but victims of catastrophic injuries and blame the injury as
the source of unhappiness. The first part is the tragic outline of the grief and
the advice of WHS follows. ALL COMMENTS AND CRITICISMS ARE WELCOME].

From: "joegruntcanada" <joegruntcanada@...>
Date: Wed Dec 22, 2004 8:44 am

I hope what people are learning here is helping to make you a better happier
person. I just joined so I'll be seeing for myself I guess soon enough. But for
a discussion I'd like to pose this question. How are you suppose to ignore the
people that crippled you by REMOVING A SAFETY SWITCH AND ORDERING YOU TO FIX A
MACHINE WHILE IT IS RUNNING. Not a good idea! Broken back, heart problems,
broken ribs, both shoulders are toast, neck, severe head trauma (still testing)
and for a kicker I've lost control of my bladder and bowels. Not bad eh?
The great part is the company I worked for didn't phone an ambulance until the
safety was put back in place and the Police were never called although it's the
law for a critical injury. I laid on the cement floor flopping around like an
epileptic 12-15 min before anyone called an ambulance. Took 'em 1 1/2hrs to
phone my wife. The company has phoned me with death threats (all recorded by
police), vandalized and trashed my truck, broke into my barns, shot my mailbox,
shot my tin barn, broke a non discloser clause in our MOL settlement (fired
-reprisal for informing WSIB,MOL). And to top it off Carl who is a good good
friend with the chief of police here started a full-fledged surveillance of my
property. They were not too happy to find only a heat lamp running to keep my 10
barn cats warm. But it goes to show what some people will do so that the TRUTH
stays hidden. Maybe you'll understand why I will do ANYTHING to make sure the
TRUTH comes out to the light of day.
But my question is how am I supposed to forget all that let it go, be happy and
just carry on. No income for 3yrs, sold everything I own. Not a thing for even
my son this year. He's a great son and understands the situation. But that don't
make it right. I was a VERY happy person before all this. People would always
tell me I'm smiling all the time, what's up. You could find me at any party just
listen for the laughter and follow. Joke's , tons of them. But it's been a hard
lesson in human behavior that I've been going through and I'm not impressed, not
too keen on my fellow man right now.
So tell me, when a dog is beaten into a corner and he learns hate and bites back
how do you get him back to the nice lovable dog that he was? How do you start?
Can it be done? Has his experience with cruelty at the hands of another tainted
him for life? Hope not, not too happy with what I've had to become to survive
this (if I survive). John
******
Dear John, (already sounds like a Dear John letter doesn’t it!)
It would be not correct for anyone to honestly believe that any of the 30 who
has jointed this group has really learnt anything or has started to help
themselves or others. That is not primary human nature. Humans are by definition
selfish and that is the case with most other species as well. Survival of the
fittest the natural way of existence. Altruism is seen only in a limited
situation and is rare and in humans largely a learnt behavior and we can only
promote it not really teach it.
The journey to become a better and a happier person is a long one and there is
no evidence that any of us has started yet and it is possible that none of us
might ever do that. We might simply give up, another human characteristic. Being
willing to give up and surrender is a big cause of unhappiness. Success is
traditionally a happy process to humans.
It is good that you have joined us but if the sole purpose of all of the 30 or
so members here thus far is to prove to themselves that all of us are selfish
stupid sulkers (for whom a separate website has been created) it would not be
very difficulty to show that to be the case. We need to start changing our
conduct and actions to be really happy. Pointing fingers at others solves
nothing.
Let us try to deal with your question. “How are you suppose to ignore the people
that crippled you by REMOVING A SAFETY SWITCH AND ORDERING YOU TO FIX A MACHINE
WHILE IT IS RUNNING”. In short, why are humans negligent, stupid, careless etc.
If we start seeing ourselves as smart and evolved monkeys then it will not be
hard to answer those questions. Most of the technology is outside of our
understanding. We act under panic and most of us fair poorly under stressful
circumstances.
Your details of personal injury that you suffered as a result of negligent of
your coworkers or management whose priority was to protect their (faulty)
equipment than the human life is not a surprise to anyone. The priority for the
corporate management is to insure profit not to protect others. Changing that is
not easy but it is possible. That is the ambitious goal that we are chasing
after.
There may be more benign explanations why it took your coworkers a long time to
phone my wife. Given that most humans are not experts at handling emergencies,
there is a need to consider more benign explanations. Stupidity is more common
than malice with humans. Lack of experience manifests itself as stupidity. That
is more apparent to the victim of the negligence or malice than others.
The unproved facts of death threats (all recorded by police), vandalism by
others, which we will assume to be true for this discussion is a part of human
behaviour and can only be reduced (never eliminated) if we all become happier.
Those who are on the hook for their misconduct or negligence certainly have a
strong interest in the fact that the TRUTH stays hidden. The fact that all of us
are guilty of that is part of the explanation why you, John, is not really
entitled to point fingers at others. It is only reasonable to speculate that
when you were on the hook and would have been punished (say get a speeding
ticket or risk getting caught cheating on the spouse) you resorted to
dishonesty, deception and fraud etc. That is what humans do. Even the chimps who
learnt to communicate with sign language started to defraud others. What to do
about this epidemic of human fraud? There is no simpler answer to persuade all
to minimize it to the lowest possible levels. We can understand why you will do
ANYTHING to make sure the TRUTH comes out to the light of day. That struggle is
in the right direction but given that you are alone in this struggle and the
company has the support of thousands of humans. The majority of humans want to
harm you as a single victim and that is not uncommon behavior. That can only end
if the critical number of humans are honest and Honourable, which is not the
case at this time. Things are only getting worse with deterioration of human
values and loss of human rights everywhere.
You may not ask the question how you are supposed to forget all that, because
you cannot forget and should not. You have to struggle and defeat the thousands
of your opponents. You need personal strength and determination to succeed. Get
the help of any one who is able and willing. There are some nice men and women
here and there. Not many. But at the same time you must continue to be happy
(even if you have to fake it) and just carry on. If you do not continue your
struggle the dishonesty will win. If you are going to lose out because you have
had no income for 3yrs, and you are without assets, then you will never be happy
again, although if you can compromise with your situation you could be, but that
would require a major COGNITIVE SHIFT. But the basic life needs must be met.
There is no basis for your regret that there is no gift for your son this year.
The most important gift that you gave him is his life and a ten dollar toy is no
match to that invaluable gift, feel no guilt. Moreover, there are going to be
opportunities to give him gifts when you are able to.
What will make things right? There would be almost nothing, not even millions
in compensation that can make things as they were. You must learn to compromise
with the new set of reality that surrounds to at least to the extent you are not
able to change it. Help from others including this group is possible. But in our
view the main assistance that this group or anyone else can or should offer is
emotional support and direction. There are reasons to doubt if you were in fact
a fundamentally or truly “VERY happy” person before your injury. There is an
error of memory bias there. Humans have a tendency to forget past painful
experience, creating an illusion of happier than actual life perspective, which
is good and adaptive. Your happiness was dependent on your income and assets.
There is a need to be able to sustain oneself in this social setting but that
fact also complicates things that happiness becomes dependent on external
variables. Happiness has to sprout from within and if people can learn to tap on
that inner fountain of happiness they can continue to be serene or calm even if
the circumstances change towards adversity.
The fact of injury in my view has not injured your body in a fashion that you
are no longer able to tell jokes and be the life of a party. There is no basis
for you to have stopped doing that. Being cheerful is the first thing that has
to come. That is what WHS preaches and the happiness messengers that we wish to
train would do. You can learn to be happiness messenger yourself and tap your
inner happiness on your own. The principle that you would be exploiting here is
that humans derive enormous amount of pleasure and contentment from being able
to please others and make them laugh, something that you were doing when you
were telling jokes and doing other things. You must not let the recklessness or
malice of your fellowmen change your personality fundamentally. You stay the way
you were. Your defeat and unhappiness is guaranteed if you let your feebler
opponents win. The rule that you need to adhere to is that IF YOU HAPPEN TO
BECOME HELPLESS, TRY TO HELP OTHERS, YOU WOULD RECEIVE HELP. This is a magical
formula and works more often than not.
Your grumble that you are not impressed that most humans are selfish and
uncaring has no basis because in all likelihood your own example fits that
description. I could be wrong but there is no reason to believe (thus far) that
you are an overly altruistic person. You are however entitled to hold your view
and act as if you are not too keen on your fellow men. We are all guilty of
this. Altruism, as I noted is an exceptional human behaviour. THERE HAS TO BE A
CRITICAL MASS (NUMBER) OF GOOD MEN before things begin to change. At this time
there are not even A FEW GOOD MEN on this planet who could trigger this movement
that WHS has the vision of. The three of us cannot alter the behaviour of the
six billion of humans of this planet overnight. Okay we have been spreading our
views since December 7; therefore it would be 15 days, a fortnight!
Sorry to frustrate you, you happened to pick up a wrong example here. Dogs and
other subprimates often behave lot less maliciously than humans. When a dog is
beaten into a corner he does not learns hatred. Ability to hate others
perpetually and viciously to the point of engaging in massacres is a purely
human behavior with very few exceptions. If you take the two world wards
humanity has fought, you can appreciate that only Homo sapiens are able and
willing to kill that large a proportion of their own species. Dog eat dog is a
false claim. No real reports of a dog actually eating a dog for the purposes of
food or for regaining of territory are on record. The fights that are engaged in
between cocks or other animals are the doing of humans. Few animals like
Mountain goats, Sea-lions etc. render their opponents crippled or dead and
generally that is for their mating rights or supremacy.
Unless you are up against an unpredictable pit bull, dogs are pretty harmless
even when beaten and abused. When a dog is temporarily angered it calms down on
its own after passage of some time. A nice lovable dog is always a nice lovable
dog. That is why they are called faithful; spouses on the other hands are not.
At least half of them are not. Comparing species for their behaviour is flawed
with extrapolative exceptions and must be done only by those who are trained to
do that. I would not call you an expert (a canine-human ethnologist) here
therefore you are best off not engaging in that.
How do you start? You ask. The good news is that you have already started. You
have taken several steps already. We are not told of the details but I am
entitled to assume them to the case. Joining the group of people who think that
humans are entitled to be happy was not a small step on your part and then you
have the courage to peel off your wounds once more and posted the story for all
to read. Most will not read it but at least some will skim through it. Success
is nearly always possible if you do not give up. When the question is of human
accomplishment the rule is BELIEVERS ALWAYS DEFEAT NON-BELIEVERS. The examples
of Wright brothers who believed that humans could fly and the astronauts who
believe that they can land on the moon or send cameras on Mars have prevailed. I
have good reasons to believe that even the handful of those who have (almost
ambiguously, not knowing what to expect) have joined this group do not really
believe that WORLD PEACE IS POSSIBLE. Nor is there a lot of belief in human
beings that world hunger, epidemics of illness (e.g. AIDS) and illiteracy can be
eliminated. Lack of faith it the best way to guarantee failure, even if a strong
faith does not guarantee success, actually in over 90% of cases it does if the
element of planning is added to the picture. To be able to succeed the first
thing that you need is a firm belief that you have a claim AND THAT YOU WILL NOT
STOP UNTIL YOU WIN!
Can it be done? YOU are in the best position to answer the question. First there
is a need to take a rational and reasonable look at the circumstances. If it is
you who was at fault (negligent, drunk, drugged up etc.) then you may not have
a case at all. It is not uncommon for humans to shift the blame of their own
errors on to others. Masses of humans may not be the most generous and the
kindest creatures around but they are not malicious either. Everyone is so busy
running around (like a chicken with head cut off) that they simply do not have
the time to engage in malice or crime. That is why the crime is so rare than it
can be predicted from human nature of being utterly selfish at most times, which
is largely justified as well. Even if the fact that cruelty at the hands of
others has tainted and destroyed your life, the only way to get out of the dump
is to force yourself to smile and laugh. For the things to start changing you
have to become happy first. You cannot wait for things to turn around before
feeling happy. If you make yourself happy without an income and a house etc.,
then the need of those things vanishes. The wealth and other accomplishments
then become perks. Letting you happiness to be dependent on external variables
is not wise although hard to practice, but it is not impossible. Support of
family and friends matters a lot in that direction. That can be done if you can
generate friends. See us as your friends. We would care for your issues and
offer advice. A key principle of WHS is that we do not propose to offer
materials or goods, except for a rare meal or some other small thing. If WHS
were to hand out millions of dollars (like Oprah) and bring smiles on the faces
of others, then we would be hypocrites because our preaching is that humans are
able to and must try to become happy in their existence circumstances first.
Once you are a happier and enthusiastic person, even if disabled, you can begin
to accumulate material things that would add to your pleasures. Materials things
(spouse, children etc.) must never become the determinant of your happiness.
That is how we want to educate people and spread the message of happiness.
At this point I will draw you attention to the fact that
You have acted as your own enemy and done yourself a serious harm by stating the
phrase “Hope not, not too happy with what I've had to become to survive this (if
I survive). John” If you are not too happy why would anyone wants to come near
you. You are simply becoming a stupid sulkers. You might as well join the group
that has been set up for fools of that type. If you are not serious about
signing up at http://ca.groups.yahoo.com/group/stupid_sulker of the SAD STUPID
SORRY SULKERS’ SOCIETY then you have to do some work here. You have to act smart
and BECOME HAPPY FIRST. Tell yourself that you are a very lucky guy because you
belong to the group called WHS and that you are a HAPPINESS MESSENGER. Start the
chain reaction. Work at making ten people a HAPPINESS MESSENGER and then the
exponential propagation of these HAPPINESS MESSENGERS would infect the world
with happiness. This is the choice for you and also to the other members. Either
work with us and start the epidemic of happiness by becoming HAPPINESS
MESSENGERS and spread the message of optimism honesty and personal integrity
which is based on the principle of loving others and caring for others or give
up and act like a loser and join the SAD STUPID SORRY SULKERS’ SOCIETY! ! ! We
would be happy to have you with us at all times and would be happy even if you
find your right place at the SSSS Society. We would keep laughing and smiling no
matter what. The volume of misery on the planet is not going to stop us. If that
misery load would stop us then who would spread the message of happiness.
THEREFORE, FOR NOW LAUGH WITH US. By sulking you will guarantee that no one even
tries to approach you let alone help you. Rest will follow. Ha Ha Ho Ho. Hey
Hey!!!


WORLD HAPPINESS SOCIETY.