YAY Lisa - thanks for sharing!  @};- Deb

---- Lisa W <lisawheelertx@...> wrote:

=============
Hi...
My name is Lisa, and my partner is a gambler. Last night was the last straw for
me. Andy is gambling again. I've had enough and don't want to live with this
addiction anymore. If this keeps up, I don't know what I'm going to do. The bill
collectors are calling, the household bills are barely getting paid, and I'm on
SSDI. We have a joint bank account that Andy never touches, but I think I'm
going to take it on myself...

When Andy is gambling, I feel like I'm living with a stranger. It is not
healthy. We will see our talk lady next week for sure...

Happy holidays to all, I will stay through the holidays, but I don't know what
I'll do after that. I think I will put my name on some low income housing lists
and start being proactive.

My name is Lisa, and I will not be codependent anymore! Thanks for reading me...





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi...
My name is Lisa, and my partner is a gambler. Last night was the last straw for
me.  Andy is gambling again.  I've had enough and don't want to live with this
addiction anymore. If this keeps up, I don't know what I'm going to do. The bill
collectors are calling, the household bills are barely getting paid, and I'm on
SSDI.  We have a joint bank account that Andy never touches, but I think I'm
going to take it on myself...

When Andy is gambling, I feel like I'm living with a stranger.  It is not
healthy.  We will see our talk lady next week for sure...

Happy holidays to all, I will stay through the holidays, but I don't know what
I'll do after that.  I think I will put my name on some low income housing lists
and start being proactive.

My name is Lisa, and I will not be codependent anymore! Thanks for reading me...

Hi Denice - I've been taught that, as adults, I am responsible only for myself
and my own behavior. I know so well the anger at other enablers; but the best I
can do is explain the illness to them, and ask them to please cooperate by not
giving the gambler money. Then I have to let it go because I have no control
over other adults. I will say this - if I didn't have a relationship with a
Higher Power, I'd be totally screwed. I need spiritual help in order to be able
to detach and stop rescueing and enabling. One of the things I like is the 12
steps adopted from AA.
Thank you for sharing.
In love and gratitude,
Deb

---- Denice <dwilson070@...> wrote:

=============
So my husband has been in recovery for 4 months, as long as I've known about the
gambling. We are getting on pretty well. I wouldn't say he is actually working a
program but he is attending meetings and spending time with guys from a local
"sober club." He has no access to our money. I think we are on the right track.
I even forgave him for all of this recently.

The problem, which I hadn't realized was lurking, is we are going to see his dad
for the first time since this all came out. His dad enabled his addiction and
was constantly giving my husband money. He apparently felt no need to share this
with me. I feel almost as betrayed by him as I did by my husband. He has offered
no appology and, as far as I can tell, he doesn't think he did anything wrong.
I'm not sure how to handle the holidays when I still have so much anger toward
him. Thoughts would be greatly appriciated.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

So my husband has been in recovery for 4 months, as long as I've known about the
gambling.  We are getting on pretty well.  I wouldn't say he is actually working
a program but he is attending meetings and spending time with guys from a local
"sober club."  He has no access to our money.  I think we are on the right
track.  I even forgave him for all of this recently.

The problem, which I hadn't realized was lurking, is we are going to see his dad
for the first time since this all came out.  His dad enabled his addiction and
was constantly giving my husband money.  He apparently felt no need to share
this with me.  I feel almost as betrayed by him as I did by my husband.  He has
offered no appology and, as far as I can tell, he doesn't think he did anything
wrong.  I'm not sure how to handle the holidays when I still have so much anger
toward him.  Thoughts would be greatly appriciated.

as a retired professional addictions counselor, i strongly reccomend that no
intervention ever be done by amateurs - as it can lead to violent responses
against the family/friends, even where a person has always been non-violent.

i'm dead serious because people have ended up seriously dead trying to do a
do it  yourself intervention.   j/L - Matrika

On Sat, Nov 14, 2009 at 8:54 AM, basket1952 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com>wrote:

>
>
> In the discussions about 12 step programs and the "recommendations" issue,
> I stumbled across a handout prepared by the National Institute on Alcohol
> Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) and took the liberty to adapt it for compulsive
> gamblers instead of alcoholics:
>
> You don't have to wait for someone to hit "rock bottom" to act.
>
> 1. STOP ALL "COVER UPS" family members often make excuses to others or try
> to protect the compulsive gambler/gambling addict from the results of
> gambling. Some family members may give the gambler money, pay off gambling
> debts, or pay other expenses when money intended for those purposes has been
> gambled away. It is important to stop covering for the gambling addict so
> that he or she experiences the full consequences of gambling addiction.
>
> 2. TIME YOUR INTERVENTION: The best time to talk to the addict is shortly
> after a gambling related problem has occurred - like a serious family
> argument or discovery of lost money. Choose a time when both of you are
> fairly calm, and you have a chance to talk in private.
>
> 3. BE SPECIFIC: Tell the family member that ou are worried about his or her
> gambling. Use examples of the ways in which the gambling has caused
> problems, incluidng the most recent incident.
>
> 4. STATE THE RESULTS: Explain to the gambler what you will do if he or she
> doesn't go for help - not to punish the gambler, but to protect yourself
> from his or her problems. what you say may range from refusing to go with
> the person to any activity where gambling will occur to moving out of the
> house. Do not make any threats you are not prepared to carry out.
>
> 5. GET HELP: Gather information in advance about treatment options in your
> area. If the person is willing to get help, call immediately for an
> appointment with a treatment counselor. Offer to go with the family member
> on the first visit to a treatment program and/or a GA meeting.
>
> 6. CALL ON A FRIEND: If the family member still refuses to get help, ask a
> friend to talk with him or her using the steps just described. A friend who
> is a recovering addict may be particularly persuasive, but any person who is
> caring and nonjudgmental may help. The intervention of more than one person,
> more than one time, is often necessary to coax an addict to seek help.
>
> 7. FIND HELP IN NUMBERS: With the help of a health care professional, some
> families join with other relatives and freinds to confront an addict as a
> group. This approach should only be tried under the guidance of a health
> care professional who is experienced in this kind of group intervention.
>
> 8. GET SUPPORT: It is important to remember that you are not alone.
> Consider meeting with a local therapist who specializes in addiction issues
> for insight and help. Support groups offered in most communities include
> Gamanon, which hold regular meetings for spouses and other significant
> adults in an addict's life, and Gamanon, which is geared to families of
> gambling addicts. These groups help family members understand that they are
> not responsible for an addict's gambling and that hey need to take steps to
> take care of themselves, regardless of whether the gambling addicted family
> member chooses to get help.
>
> 9. OTHER: Do you have to be an addict to experience problems? No.
> Addiction/Compulsive Gambling is only one type of gambling problem. A person
> can have a problem with gambling without actually being an addict - that is,
> he or she may gamble too much and too often but still not be dependent on
> gambling. Some of the problems linked with problem gambling include not
> being able to meet work, school or family responsibilities; overspending on
> gambling leaving inadequate money to meet home and family obligations.
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

In the discussions about 12 step programs and the "recommendations" issue, I
stumbled across a handout prepared by  the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse
and Alcoholism (NIAAA) and took the liberty to adapt it for compulsive gamblers
instead of alcoholics:

You don't have to wait for someone to hit "rock bottom" to act.

1. STOP ALL "COVER UPS"   family members often make excuses to others or try to
protect the compulsive gambler/gambling addict from the results of gambling. 
Some family members may give the gambler money, pay off gambling debts, or pay
other expenses when money intended for those purposes has been gambled away.  It
is important to stop covering for the gambling addict so that he or she
experiences the full consequences of gambling addiction.

2. TIME YOUR INTERVENTION:  The best time to talk to the addict is shortly after
a gambling related problem has occurred - like a serious family argument or
discovery of lost money.  Choose a time when both of you are fairly calm, and
you have a chance to talk in private.

3. BE SPECIFIC:  Tell the family member that ou are worried about his or her
gambling.  Use examples of the ways in which the gambling has caused problems,
incluidng the most recent incident.

4. STATE THE RESULTS:  Explain to the gambler what you will do if he or she
doesn't go for help - not to punish the gambler, but to protect yourself from
his or her problems.  what you say may range from refusing to go with the person
to any activity where gambling will occur to moving out of the house.  Do not
make any threats you are not prepared to carry out.

5. GET HELP:  Gather information in advance about treatment options in your
area.  If the person is willing to get help, call immediately for an appointment
with a treatment counselor.  Offer to go with the family member on the first
visit to a treatment program and/or a GA meeting.

6. CALL ON A FRIEND:  If the family member still refuses to get help, ask a
friend to talk with him or her using the steps just described.  A friend who is
a recovering addict may be particularly persuasive, but any person who is caring
and nonjudgmental may help.  The intervention of more than one person, more than
one time, is often necessary to coax an addict to seek help.

7. FIND HELP IN NUMBERS:  With the help of a health care professional, some
families join with other relatives and freinds to confront an addict as a group.
This approach should only be tried under the guidance of a health care
professional who is experienced in this kind of group intervention.

8. GET SUPPORT:  It is important to remember that you are not alone.  Consider
meeting with a local therapist who specializes in addiction issues for insight
and help.  Support groups offered in most communities include Gamanon, which
hold regular meetings for spouses and other significant adults in an addict's
life, and Gamanon, which is geared to families of gambling addicts.  These
groups help family members understand that they are not responsible for an
addict's gambling and that hey need to take steps to take care of themselves,
regardless of whether the gambling addicted family member chooses to get help.

9. OTHER:  Do you have to be an addict to experience problems?  No. 
Addiction/Compulsive Gambling is only one type of gambling problem.  A person
can have a problem with gambling without actually being an addict - that is, he
or she may gamble too much and too often but still not be dependent on gambling.
Some of the problems linked with problem gambling include not being able to meet
work, school or family responsibilities; overspending on gambling leaving
inadequate money to meet home and family obligations.

Ohmigosh, not the scientific basis of ANY addiction - i'm on the behavioral
pharmecology course in the addictions counseling courses i'm retaking as my
training was back in 86.  AND IT IS GIVING ME ENOUGH HEADACHES, believe me!
(ROTFLOL!)  As you may have noticed i don't even spell it right!! (But i
have passed my first exam - i guess i'm a good guesser on those multiple
choice or something!)

Other than that, thanks - to you and everyone - for the explanation.

And i am not kidding about the headaches- anything with numbers in it gives
me headaches, making me a perfect enabler, i guess for my cg gal-pal in AA
with me that sent me here!

Frankly i think numbers are a disease and it always shocked me when certain
nuns in high school used those two horrible 4 letter words - not that, i
mean "MATH EXAM" (the horror- shudder!) again, LOL!
j/L - Matrika  P.S. sometimes i wish i had a cg in the house to blame my
messed up bank acct on.  it's rare that i mess it up - once every 3-4 years
maybe.  But when i do - OY, do i do it big time! (numbers are a disease!)



On Fri, Nov 13, 2009 at 6:31 PM, Gary <london5747@...> wrote:

>
>
>
>
> j/L - Matrika,
>
> Susi already provided a great response to your question about giving advice
> in a GAm-Anon sanctioned meeting or conference. Since this message board is
> not an "official" GAm-Anon governed function, we are not limited by the same
> rules that apply there. While some people may may have a problem with that,
> there is also some distinct advantages to not being part of the "official"
> Gam-Anon organization.
>
> Another Gam-Anon guideline is to not involve itself in or give opinions
> concerning matters outside the GAm-Anon program. Here on this message board
> we often discuss topics like the encroachment of legalized gambling into new
> areas, the availability of and effectiveness of treatment/counseling
> programs offered throughout the world for compulsive gamblers and the
> scientific study of compulsive gambling as an addiction. While these may be
> taboo subjects at your typical GAm-Anon meeting (and for good reasons),
> these are all topics that people who have loved ones suffering from a
> gambling problem are interested in. So there is a distint advantage to not
> being an "official" arm of the GAm-Anon organization.
>
> In support of Susi's earlier explanation I think if you look at some of the
> past posts ... those typically posted by longtime GAm-Anon members tend to
> avoid giving advice while those that structure their responses in the form
> of advice tend to be those individuals who have less experience with the
> "official" GAm-Anon organization.
>
> Good Luck & God Bless,
> Gary B.
>
> --- In
gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com<gamanonsupportgroup%40yahoogroups.com>,
> judith LaBonte <Matrika52@...> wrote:
> >
> > in Al-Anon we are always told that we do not give advice- in fact it's in
> > the opening "preamble" used at many meetings. i was wondering if this was
> > different in Gam-Anon, as i see alot of people giving specific advice
> here.
> > So i'm a bit confused.
> >
> > i don't know about the states where you live, but in my state practicing
> law
> > without a license is also very illegal - and people have been prosecuted
> for
> > it.
> >
> > in Al-Anon they tell us only to share on how we use the 12 steps in our
> own
> > lives and if someone else relates to it or "identifies" then they may
> choose
> > to follow the same path - or not. But that our purpose is to support them
> > in making their own individual decisions and how they apply the 12 steps,
> > which HP to use, etc.
> >
> > i don't have a lot of experience with Al-Anon except for this and one
> other
> > basically non-existent group, so i'd appreciate it if this could be
> > clarified for me. Because in that program we are taught that we can learn
> > our own HP's way for us to live with unsolved problems - well that's a
> > paraphrase, but fairly close.
> >
> > j/L - Matrika - from the state of Kon-Fu-Shun! Of course having the flu
> > isn't helping any!
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

THIS is good and helpful to me, thanks - j/L - Matrika

On Fri, Nov 13, 2009 at 10:49 PM, SUSI <susigold@...> wrote:

>
>
> SUGGESTIONS FOR THE NEWCOMER
>
> Accept and learn to live with the fact that compulsive gambling is an
> illness..
>
> To question or interrogate the gambler will serve no purpose. You are
> powerless over this situation. If the gambler has something the gambler
> wishes to hide, the truth cannot be forced from the gambler. Why try?
>
> To nag your gambler about past losses or to talk of what might have been if
> the gambler hadn't gambled will prove to be detrimental to the gambler's
> recovery as well as yours.
>
> The past is gone and you will not find peace of mind until you can accept
> it without resentment.
>
> The gambler, not you, should be responsible for calling the gambler's
> creditors to make restitution. Don't take this responsibility from the
> gambler.
>
> Experience has taught us that it is not helpful to borrow monies or co-sign
> notes to cover gambling debts, while the gambler is gambling or when the
> gambler comes into Gamblers Anonymous.
>
> It is not recommended that the spouse go to work specifically to cover
> gambling debts.
>
> Prudence tells us that compulsive gamblers are seldom able to handle family
> finances. Perhaps this condition will be altered as the gambler progresses
> toward recovery.
>
> Discourage friends and relatives from lending the gambler money.
>
> Gamblers Anonymous is a program for the compulsive gambler. Loved ones
> should not interfere.
>
> It may be well to encourage the gambler to go to the first few meetings,
> however, after this the Gamblers Anonymous activities must be left to the
> gambler. To force the gambler to attend meetings is very apt to do more harm
> than good.
>
> The gambler's gambling debts were not incurred over a short period of time,
> therefore don't be discouraged if the gambler finds it necessary to pay back
> small amounts of monies over an extended period. Normal family expenses must
> come first.
>
> Recovery is a very slow process for the gambler. Give the gambler your
> encouragement and have faith.
>
> Do take an honest inventory of YOUR character defects and work on them.
>
> Come to Gam-Anon even though your gambler may continue to gamble. We
> understand your problem and if you have an honest desire we can help you
> through our program.
>
> (Taken from the Gam-Anon web site)
> www.gam-anon.org/
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

SUGGESTIONS FOR THE NEWCOMER

Accept and learn to live with the fact that compulsive gambling is an illness..


To question or interrogate the gambler will serve no purpose. You are powerless
over this situation. If the gambler has something the gambler wishes to hide,
the truth cannot be forced from the gambler. Why try?


To nag your gambler about past losses or to talk of what might have been if the
gambler hadn't gambled will prove to be detrimental to the gambler's recovery as
well as yours.


The past is gone and you will not find peace of mind until you can accept it
without resentment.


The gambler, not you, should be responsible for calling the gambler's creditors
to make restitution. Don't take this responsibility from the gambler.


Experience has taught us that it is not helpful to borrow monies or co-sign
notes to cover gambling debts, while the gambler is gambling or when the gambler
comes into Gamblers Anonymous.


It is not recommended that the spouse go to work specifically to cover gambling
debts.


Prudence tells us that compulsive gamblers are seldom able to handle family
finances. Perhaps this condition will be altered as the gambler progresses
toward recovery.


Discourage friends and relatives from lending the gambler money.


Gamblers Anonymous is a program for the compulsive gambler. Loved ones should
not interfere.


It may be well to encourage the gambler to go to the first few meetings,
however, after this the Gamblers Anonymous activities must be left to the
gambler. To force the gambler to attend meetings is very apt to do more harm
than good.


The gambler's gambling debts were not incurred over a short period of time,
therefore don't be discouraged if the gambler finds it necessary to pay back
small amounts of monies over an extended period. Normal family expenses must
come first.


Recovery is a very slow process for the gambler. Give the gambler your
encouragement and have faith.


Do take an honest inventory of YOUR character defects and work on them.


Come to Gam-Anon even though your gambler may continue to gamble. We understand
your problem and if you have an honest desire we can help you through our
program.


(Taken from the Gam-Anon web site)
    www.gam-anon.org/

The number for Gam-Anon International Service Office is (718)352-1671 - ask for
Regina, executive secretary. www.gam-anon.org - gamanonoffice1@... The
address to write is P.O. Box 157, Whitestone, NY 11357. I talk with my sponsor
next on Monday morning. I will seek her guidance about meetings. But do call the
office and speak to Regina if you can. She is very helpful and nice, and may be
able to direct you to someone for help. Deb

---- LiveInHickHell <craigjenkins2002@...> wrote:

=============

That would be great I am so burnout from dealing with all this myself and I have
kept her dirty little secret for so long I cant take this anymore
--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, <deborahgary@...> wrote:
>
>
> I thought of that, also. I belong to a PalTalk Spiritual Group chat room, but
I have no idea how one is started. I'm wondering if Gamanon International would
sanction something like that? I can ask my sponsor what she thinks. She's been
in Gam-anon for 45 years!
>
> ---- LiveInHickHell <craigjenkins2002@...> wrote:
>
> =============
> Is it possible that if a online meeting is not currently offered that one can
be set up through a chat service or perhaps through second life?
>
>
> --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, <deborahgary@> wrote:
> >
> >
> > Hi Craig and Susi - I do have a long-distance sponsor I talk with by phone.
She is guiding me through the Steps. I called International Services because we
have a very new group here; no one is in recovery because it hasn't been handled
like a real Gam-anon meeting; and I was given this lady from New York as a
"meeting mentor." After I talked with her, she agreed to be my sponsor. I am
very lucky; but I'm still not sure what to do about meetings. Thanks for
listening. Deb
> >
> > ---- LiveInHickHell <craigjenkins2002@> wrote:
> >
> > =============
> >
> > My problem the closest meeting is farther away then the closest casino. We
are talking over a hundred miles and then on top of that I cant afford to travel
that far since I keep on bailing out my fiance and am maxed out on everything.
She finally wants to quit for herself since she hit a jackpot and then
discovered that it isnt worth going now that she relizes that that will take
forever to get another jackpot. We are now dealing with the finacial fallout I
really need help on dealing with my problems and I dont even know where to
begin...
> >
> > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "SUSI" <susigold@> wrote:
> > >
> > > Gam-Anon does not offer online or phone meetings. You can log into their
official site and get information. You can locate a face to face meeting in or
near your area. You can get information about starting a face to face meeting.
You can also get information about getting an email penpal who can guide you
through the steps.
> > >
> > > Check : www.gam-anon.org/about.htm
> > >
> > > Also, if you can't locate a Gam-Anon meeting in your area, check the
Gambler's Anonymous meeeting list.
> > >
> > > Check : www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirTOP.html
> > >
> > > Where there are compulsiv gamblers, there are family members and friends
that have suffered with someone else's addiction. It is likely you will find
people associated with the gambler that are just as intrested in getting help
for themselves.
> > >
> > >
> > > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "debgary11" <deborahgary@>
wrote:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > I've just joined this group looking for other gamanons. I'd also be
interested in online or phone meetings. I am in Louisiana. Thanks. Deb
> > > >
> > > > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "LiveInHickHell"
<craigjenkins2002@> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > I live in Springfield Mo and our only meeting is not active. THey are
not at the location listed on the website anymore :(
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

That would be great I am so burnout from dealing with all this myself and I have
kept her dirty little secret for so long I cant take this anymore
--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, <deborahgary@...> wrote:
>
>
> I thought of that, also. I belong to a PalTalk Spiritual Group chat room, but
I have no idea how one is started. I'm wondering if Gamanon International would
sanction something like that? I can ask my sponsor what she thinks. She's been
in Gam-anon for 45 years!
>
> ---- LiveInHickHell <craigjenkins2002@...> wrote:
>
> =============
> Is it possible that if a online meeting is not currently offered that one can
be set up through a chat service or perhaps through second life?
>
>
> --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, <deborahgary@> wrote:
> >
> >
> > Hi Craig and Susi - I do have a long-distance sponsor I talk with by phone.
She is guiding me through the Steps. I called International Services because we
have a very new group here; no one is in recovery because it hasn't been handled
like a real Gam-anon meeting; and I was given this lady from New York as a
"meeting mentor." After I talked with her, she agreed to be my sponsor. I am
very lucky; but I'm still not sure what to do about meetings. Thanks for
listening. Deb
> >
> > ---- LiveInHickHell <craigjenkins2002@> wrote:
> >
> > =============
> >
> > My problem the closest meeting is farther away then the closest casino. We
are talking over a hundred miles and then on top of that I cant afford to travel
that far since I keep on bailing out my fiance and am maxed out on everything.
She finally wants to quit for herself since she hit a jackpot and then
discovered that it isnt worth going now that she relizes that that will take
forever to get another jackpot. We are now dealing with the finacial fallout I
really need help on dealing with my problems and I dont even know where to
begin...
> >
> > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "SUSI" <susigold@> wrote:
> > >
> > > Gam-Anon does not offer online or phone meetings. You can log into their
official site and get information. You can locate a face to face meeting in or
near your area. You can get information about starting a face to face meeting.
You can also get information about getting an email penpal who can guide you
through the steps.
> > >
> > > Check : www.gam-anon.org/about.htm
> > >
> > > Also, if you can't locate a Gam-Anon meeting in your area, check the
Gambler's Anonymous meeeting list.
> > >
> > > Check : www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirTOP.html
> > >
> > > Where there are compulsiv gamblers, there are family members and friends
that have suffered with someone else's addiction. It is likely you will find
people associated with the gambler that are just as intrested in getting help
for themselves.
> > >
> > >
> > > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "debgary11" <deborahgary@>
wrote:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > I've just joined this group looking for other gamanons. I'd also be
interested in online or phone meetings. I am in Louisiana. Thanks. Deb
> > > >
> > > > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "LiveInHickHell"
<craigjenkins2002@> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > I live in Springfield Mo and our only meeting is not active. THey are
not at the location listed on the website anymore :(
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

I thought of that, also. I belong to a PalTalk Spiritual Group chat room, but I
have no idea how one is started. I'm wondering if Gamanon International would
sanction something like that? I can ask my sponsor what she thinks. She's been
in Gam-anon for 45 years!

---- LiveInHickHell <craigjenkins2002@...> wrote:

=============
Is it possible that if a online meeting is not currently offered that one can be
set up through a chat service or perhaps through second life?


--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, <deborahgary@...> wrote:
>
>
> Hi Craig and Susi - I do have a long-distance sponsor I talk with by phone.
She is guiding me through the Steps. I called International Services because we
have a very new group here; no one is in recovery because it hasn't been handled
like a real Gam-anon meeting; and I was given this lady from New York as a
"meeting mentor." After I talked with her, she agreed to be my sponsor. I am
very lucky; but I'm still not sure what to do about meetings. Thanks for
listening. Deb
>
> ---- LiveInHickHell <craigjenkins2002@...> wrote:
>
> =============
>
> My problem the closest meeting is farther away then the closest casino. We are
talking over a hundred miles and then on top of that I cant afford to travel
that far since I keep on bailing out my fiance and am maxed out on everything.
She finally wants to quit for herself since she hit a jackpot and then
discovered that it isnt worth going now that she relizes that that will take
forever to get another jackpot. We are now dealing with the finacial fallout I
really need help on dealing with my problems and I dont even know where to
begin...
>
> --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "SUSI" <susigold@> wrote:
> >
> > Gam-Anon does not offer online or phone meetings. You can log into their
official site and get information. You can locate a face to face meeting in or
near your area. You can get information about starting a face to face meeting.
You can also get information about getting an email penpal who can guide you
through the steps.
> >
> > Check : www.gam-anon.org/about.htm
> >
> > Also, if you can't locate a Gam-Anon meeting in your area, check the
Gambler's Anonymous meeeting list.
> >
> > Check : www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirTOP.html
> >
> > Where there are compulsiv gamblers, there are family members and friends
that have suffered with someone else's addiction. It is likely you will find
people associated with the gambler that are just as intrested in getting help
for themselves.
> >
> >
> > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "debgary11" <deborahgary@>
wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > I've just joined this group looking for other gamanons. I'd also be
interested in online or phone meetings. I am in Louisiana. Thanks. Deb
> > >
> > > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "LiveInHickHell"
<craigjenkins2002@> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > I live in Springfield Mo and our only meeting is not active. THey are
not at the location listed on the website anymore :(
> > > >
> > >
> >
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Is it possible that if a online meeting is not currently offered that one can be
set up through a chat service or perhaps through second life?


--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, <deborahgary@...> wrote:
>
>
> Hi Craig and Susi - I do have a long-distance sponsor I talk with by phone.
She is guiding me through the Steps. I called International Services because we
have a very new group here; no one is in recovery because it hasn't been handled
like a real Gam-anon meeting; and I was given this lady from New York as a
"meeting mentor." After I talked with her, she agreed to be my sponsor. I am
very lucky; but I'm still not sure what to do about meetings. Thanks for
listening. Deb
>
> ---- LiveInHickHell <craigjenkins2002@...> wrote:
>
> =============
>
> My problem the closest meeting is farther away then the closest casino. We are
talking over a hundred miles and then on top of that I cant afford to travel
that far since I keep on bailing out my fiance and am maxed out on everything.
She finally wants to quit for herself since she hit a jackpot and then
discovered that it isnt worth going now that she relizes that that will take
forever to get another jackpot. We are now dealing with the finacial fallout I
really need help on dealing with my problems and I dont even know where to
begin...
>
> --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "SUSI" <susigold@> wrote:
> >
> > Gam-Anon does not offer online or phone meetings. You can log into their
official site and get information. You can locate a face to face meeting in or
near your area. You can get information about starting a face to face meeting.
You can also get information about getting an email penpal who can guide you
through the steps.
> >
> > Check : www.gam-anon.org/about.htm
> >
> > Also, if you can't locate a Gam-Anon meeting in your area, check the
Gambler's Anonymous meeeting list.
> >
> > Check : www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirTOP.html
> >
> > Where there are compulsiv gamblers, there are family members and friends
that have suffered with someone else's addiction. It is likely you will find
people associated with the gambler that are just as intrested in getting help
for themselves.
> >
> >
> > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "debgary11" <deborahgary@>
wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > I've just joined this group looking for other gamanons. I'd also be
interested in online or phone meetings. I am in Louisiana. Thanks. Deb
> > >
> > > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "LiveInHickHell"
<craigjenkins2002@> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > I live in Springfield Mo and our only meeting is not active. THey are
not at the location listed on the website anymore :(
> > > >
> > >
> >
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Hi Craig and Susi - I do have a long-distance sponsor I talk with by phone. She
is guiding me through the Steps. I called International Services because we have
a very new group here; no one is in recovery because it hasn't been handled like
a real Gam-anon meeting; and I was given this lady from New York as a "meeting
mentor." After I talked with her, she agreed to be my sponsor. I am very lucky;
but I'm still not sure what to do about meetings. Thanks for listening. Deb

---- LiveInHickHell <craigjenkins2002@...> wrote:

=============

My problem the closest meeting is farther away then the closest casino. We are
talking over a hundred miles and then on top of that I cant afford to travel
that far since I keep on bailing out my fiance and am maxed out on everything.
She finally wants to quit for herself since she hit a jackpot and then
discovered that it isnt worth going now that she relizes that that will take
forever to get another jackpot. We are now dealing with the finacial fallout I
really need help on dealing with my problems and I dont even know where to
begin...

--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "SUSI" <susigold@...> wrote:
>
> Gam-Anon does not offer online or phone meetings. You can log into their
official site and get information. You can locate a face to face meeting in or
near your area. You can get information about starting a face to face meeting.
You can also get information about getting an email penpal who can guide you
through the steps.
>
> Check : www.gam-anon.org/about.htm
>
> Also, if you can't locate a Gam-Anon meeting in your area, check the Gambler's
Anonymous meeeting list.
>
> Check : www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirTOP.html
>
> Where there are compulsiv gamblers, there are family members and friends that
have suffered with someone else's addiction. It is likely you will find people
associated with the gambler that are just as intrested in getting help for
themselves.
>
>
> --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "debgary11" <deborahgary@> wrote:
> >
> >
> > I've just joined this group looking for other gamanons. I'd also be
interested in online or phone meetings. I am in Louisiana. Thanks. Deb
> >
> > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "LiveInHickHell"
<craigjenkins2002@> wrote:
> > >
> > > I live in Springfield Mo and our only meeting is not active. THey are not
at the location listed on the website anymore :(
> > >
> >
>




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

My problem the closest meeting is farther away then the closest casino. We are
talking over a hundred miles and then on top of that I cant afford to travel
that far since I keep on bailing out my fiance and am maxed out on everything.
She finally wants to quit for herself since she hit a jackpot and then
discovered that it isnt worth going now that she relizes that that will take
forever to get another jackpot. We are now dealing with the finacial fallout I
really need help on dealing with my problems and I dont even know where to
begin...

--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "SUSI" <susigold@...> wrote:
>
> Gam-Anon does not offer online or phone meetings. You can log into their
official site and get information. You can locate a face to face meeting in or
near your area.  You can get information about starting a face to face meeting.
You can also get information about getting an email penpal who can guide you
through the steps.
>
> Check :  www.gam-anon.org/about.htm
>
> Also, if you can't locate a Gam-Anon meeting in your area, check the Gambler's
Anonymous meeeting list.
>
> Check :  www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirTOP.html
>
> Where there are compulsiv gamblers, there are family members and friends that
have suffered with someone else's addiction.  It is likely you will find people
associated with the gambler that are just as intrested in getting help for
themselves.
>
>
> --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "debgary11" <deborahgary@> wrote:
> >
> >
> > I've just joined this group looking for other gamanons.  I'd also be
interested in online or phone meetings.  I am in Louisiana.  Thanks.  Deb
> >
> > --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "LiveInHickHell"
<craigjenkins2002@> wrote:
> > >
> > > I live in Springfield Mo and our only meeting is not active. THey are not
at the location listed on the website anymore :(
> > >
> >
>

j/L - Matrika,

Susi already provided a great response to your question about giving advice in a
GAm-Anon sanctioned meeting or conference.  Since this message board is not an
"official" GAm-Anon governed function, we are not limited by the same rules that
apply there.  While some people may may have a problem with that, there is also
some distinct advantages to not being part of the "official" Gam-Anon
organization.

Another Gam-Anon guideline is to not involve itself in or give opinions
concerning matters outside the GAm-Anon program.  Here on this message board we
often discuss topics like the encroachment of legalized gambling into new areas,
the availability of and effectiveness of treatment/counseling programs offered
throughout the world for compulsive gamblers and the scientific study of
compulsive gambling as an addiction.   While these may be taboo subjects at your
typical GAm-Anon meeting (and for good reasons), these are all topics that
people who have loved ones suffering from a gambling problem are interested in. 
So there is a distint advantage to not being an "official" arm of the GAm-Anon
organization.

In support of Susi's earlier explanation I think if you look at some of the past
posts ... those typically posted by longtime GAm-Anon members tend to avoid
giving advice while those that structure their responses in the form of advice
tend to be those individuals who have less experience with the "official"
GAm-Anon organization.

Good Luck & God Bless,
Gary B.

--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, judith LaBonte <Matrika52@...>
wrote:
>
> in Al-Anon we are always told that we do not give advice- in fact it's in
> the opening "preamble" used at many meetings.  i was wondering if this was
> different in Gam-Anon, as i see alot of people giving specific advice here.
> So i'm a bit confused.
>
> i don't know about the states where you live, but in my state practicing law
> without a license is also very illegal - and people have been prosecuted for
> it.
>
> in Al-Anon they tell us only to share on how we use the 12 steps in our own
> lives and if someone else relates to it or "identifies" then they may choose
> to follow the same path - or not.  But that our purpose is to support them
> in making their own individual decisions and how they apply the 12 steps,
> which HP to use, etc.
>
> i don't have a lot of experience with Al-Anon except for this and one other
> basically non-existent group, so i'd appreciate it if this could be
> clarified for me.  Because in that program we are taught that we can learn
> our own HP's way for us to live with unsolved problems - well that's a
> paraphrase, but fairly close.
>
> j/L - Matrika - from the state of Kon-Fu-Shun!  Of course having the flu
> isn't helping any!
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Gam-Anon does not offer online or phone meetings. You can log into their
official site and get information. You can locate a face to face meeting in or
near your area.  You can get information about starting a face to face meeting.
You can also get information about getting an email penpal who can guide you
through the steps.

Check :  www.gam-anon.org/about.htm

Also, if you can't locate a Gam-Anon meeting in your area, check the Gambler's
Anonymous meeeting list.

Check :  www.gamblersanonymous.org/mtgdirTOP.html

Where there are compulsiv gamblers, there are family members and friends that
have suffered with someone else's addiction.  It is likely you will find people
associated with the gambler that are just as intrested in getting help for
themselves.


--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "debgary11" <deborahgary@...> wrote:
>
>
> I've just joined this group looking for other gamanons.  I'd also be
interested in online or phone meetings.  I am in Louisiana.  Thanks.  Deb
>
> --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "LiveInHickHell"
<craigjenkins2002@> wrote:
> >
> > I live in Springfield Mo and our only meeting is not active. THey are not at
the location listed on the website anymore :(
> >
>

thank you for explaining -  j/L - Matrika

On Fri, Nov 13, 2009 at 10:07 AM, SUSI <susigold@...> wrote:

>
>
> GamAnon also stresses NOT to give advice. We follow the same basic steps
> that AlAnon follows. You have to remember, however, that most of the people
> that are on this site have never set foot in a GamAnon meeting. This site is
> their only contact with others that have the same program. Therefore, they
> do not necessrily follow the 12 step program.
>
> When this site first opened up, it actually should not have been called a
> Gamanon Support group since it is not an official GamAnon site.
> Unfortunatlely, even though I moniter the group, I was not the person that
> originally formed it.
>
> Even though this is NOT a GamAnon site, it semms to be providing more
> positive assistance to those people out there that are suffering. I am
> extremely grateful for those that have and do attend 12 step meetings. Your
> input helps to remind everyone of the guidelines and where to seek
> PROFESSIONAL advice.
>
> The fact that this is NOT an OFFICIAL site is even more reason for face to
> face Gam-Anon meetings. In my travels around the country, I find more and
> more locatiions where no support groups exist. I am so lucky to be living in
> an area where we have a number of Gam-Anon groups. I don't know what I would
> have done or what I would do now if I didn't have a room and people to go to
> for help when I need it.
>
> If you live in an area where there is no Gam-Anon group, start one. All it
> takes is 2 people to make a meeting. It grows from there.
> Contact Gam-Anon (http://www.gam-anon.org/)to get information about
> starting a face to face meeting in your area.
>
> Susi G.
>
>
> --- In
gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com<gamanonsupportgroup%40yahoogroups.com>,
> judith LaBonte <Matrika52@...> wrote:
> >
> > in Al-Anon we are always told that we do not give advice- in fact it's in
> > the opening "preamble" used at many meetings. i was wondering if this was
> > different in Gam-Anon, as i see alot of people giving specific advice
> here.
> > So i'm a bit confused.
> >
> > i don't know about the states where you live, but in my state practicing
> law
> > without a license is also very illegal - and people have been prosecuted
> for
> > it.
> >
> > in Al-Anon they tell us only to share on how we use the 12 steps in our
> own
> > lives and if someone else relates to it or "identifies" then they may
> choose
> > to follow the same path - or not. But that our purpose is to support them
> > in making their own individual decisions and how they apply the 12 steps,
> > which HP to use, etc.
> >
> > i don't have a lot of experience with Al-Anon except for this and one
> other
> > basically non-existent group, so i'd appreciate it if this could be
> > clarified for me. Because in that program we are taught that we can learn
> > our own HP's way for us to live with unsolved problems - well that's a
> > paraphrase, but fairly close.
> >
> > j/L - Matrika - from the state of Kon-Fu-Shun! Of course having the flu
> > isn't helping any!
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I've just joined this group looking for other gamanons.  I'd also be interested
in online or phone meetings.  I am in Louisiana.  Thanks.  Deb

--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "LiveInHickHell"
<craigjenkins2002@...> wrote:
>
> I live in Springfield Mo and our only meeting is not active. THey are not at
the location listed on the website anymore :(
>

GamAnon also stresses NOT to give advice.  We follow the same basic steps that
AlAnon follows.  You have to remember, however, that most of the people that are
on this site have never set foot in a GamAnon meeting.  This site is their only
contact with others that have the same program.  Therefore, they do not
necessrily follow the 12 step program.

When this site first opened up, it actually should not have been called a
Gamanon Support group since it is not an official GamAnon site.  Unfortunatlely,
even though I moniter the group, I was not the person that originally formed it.

Even though this is NOT a GamAnon site, it semms to be providing more positive
assistance to those people out there that are suffering. I am extremely grateful
for those that have and do attend 12 step meetings.  Your input helps to remind
everyone of the guidelines and where to seek PROFESSIONAL advice.

The fact that this is NOT an OFFICIAL site is even more reason  for face to face
Gam-Anon meetings.  In my travels around the country, I find more and more
locatiions where no support groups exist.  I am so lucky to be living in an area
where we have a number of Gam-Anon groups.  I don't know what I would have done
or what I would do now if I didn't have a room and people to go to for help when
I need it.

If you live in an area where there is no Gam-Anon group, start one.  All it
takes is 2 people to make a meeting.  It grows from there.
Contact Gam-Anon (http://www.gam-anon.org/)to get information about starting a
face to face meeting in your area.

Susi G.

--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, judith LaBonte <Matrika52@...>
wrote:
>
> in Al-Anon we are always told that we do not give advice- in fact it's in
> the opening "preamble" used at many meetings.  i was wondering if this was
> different in Gam-Anon, as i see alot of people giving specific advice here.
> So i'm a bit confused.
>
> i don't know about the states where you live, but in my state practicing law
> without a license is also very illegal - and people have been prosecuted for
> it.
>
> in Al-Anon they tell us only to share on how we use the 12 steps in our own
> lives and if someone else relates to it or "identifies" then they may choose
> to follow the same path - or not.  But that our purpose is to support them
> in making their own individual decisions and how they apply the 12 steps,
> which HP to use, etc.
>
> i don't have a lot of experience with Al-Anon except for this and one other
> basically non-existent group, so i'd appreciate it if this could be
> clarified for me.  Because in that program we are taught that we can learn
> our own HP's way for us to live with unsolved problems - well that's a
> paraphrase, but fairly close.
>
> j/L - Matrika - from the state of Kon-Fu-Shun!  Of course having the flu
> isn't helping any!
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

in Al-Anon we are always told that we do not give advice- in fact it's in
the opening "preamble" used at many meetings.  i was wondering if this was
different in Gam-Anon, as i see alot of people giving specific advice here.
So i'm a bit confused.

i don't know about the states where you live, but in my state practicing law
without a license is also very illegal - and people have been prosecuted for
it.

in Al-Anon they tell us only to share on how we use the 12 steps in our own
lives and if someone else relates to it or "identifies" then they may choose
to follow the same path - or not.  But that our purpose is to support them
in making their own individual decisions and how they apply the 12 steps,
which HP to use, etc.

i don't have a lot of experience with Al-Anon except for this and one other
basically non-existent group, so i'd appreciate it if this could be
clarified for me.  Because in that program we are taught that we can learn
our own HP's way for us to live with unsolved problems - well that's a
paraphrase, but fairly close.

j/L - Matrika - from the state of Kon-Fu-Shun!  Of course having the flu
isn't helping any!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Contact the bank that will be in violation of regulation gg which is supposed to
be taking effect. For a bank to allow a transaction like this to go through they
are violating GG also have the merchant name and aswell as the date of
transaction on the impacted account.

--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, basket1952 <no_reply@...> wrote:
>
> Pats . . I was hoping the same thing!  My take on it is that people might have
been using these types of brokerage accounts to pay for gambling on line?
>
> --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, patsluv22 <no_reply@> wrote:
> >
> > Thanks for sharing Basket!
> >
> > Forgive me, perhaps it's too early and I have not had my coffee yet but all
this legal jargon is making my head spin. Does anyone know in "simple" terms
what this means?
> >
>

I live in Springfield Mo and our only meeting is not active. THey are not at the
location listed on the website anymore :(