My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years, but we've been together

since the 9th grade. We're only 26 and 25 years old, respectively. I love him

dearly, but he's a compulsive gambler. When he has no access to the nearest

casino (e.g. usually no money), he scratches instant lottery tickets. The

tickets are an almost daily occurrence. I find them hidden everywhere. I can't

even remember a time that this hasn't been a problem. He is fully aware and

admits to being a compulsive gambler and to the fact that it is ruining his

life. He recently initiated treatment for himself, and I'm holding my breath to

see if it helps at all. Intellectually, I know that this is his problem, and I

have no control over it. Emotionally, though, I'm a wreck. I don't want to leave

him, and I can't financially afford to leave him either (at least right now). I

guess my biggest question is whether or not divorce is inevitable in situations

in which one spouse is a compulsive gambler. Do any couples in this situation

stay together?

Sarah, you said that when he runs out of money to visit the casino, he scratches

instant lottery tickets, on an almost daily basis.  If he has no money for the

casino, where on earth does he get money to buy scratch off tickets?



I had to take over all access to money from my husband.  His name is off of all

bank accounts and I hand him cash to get by each day.  He gets maybe 20.00.  If

he spent it on scratch off tickets he would have NOTHING for coffee, tolls, misc

expenses.



Gambling addicts cannot handle having access to money. Access to money turns

into addictive gambling behavior, period.



Have you taken over control and access to all money in your household?  direct

deposit of his pay into your own account is a great starting point.  Also,

getting your own job with your own income deposited into your own account is a

great idea.  That way your home and living are not in jeopardy from gambling.









--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "Sarah" <sjmault@...> wrote:

>

> My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years, but we've been together

since the 9th grade. We're only 26 and 25 years old, respectively. I love him

dearly, but he's a compulsive gambler. When he has no access to the nearest

casino (e.g. usually no money), he scratches instant lottery tickets. The

tickets are an almost daily occurrence. I find them hidden everywhere. I can't

even remember a time that this hasn't been a problem. He is fully aware and

admits to being a compulsive gambler and to the fact that it is ruining his

life. He recently initiated treatment for himself, and I'm holding my breath to

see if it helps at all. Intellectually, I know that this is his problem, and I

have no control over it. Emotionally, though, I'm a wreck. I don't want to leave

him, and I can't financially afford to leave him either (at least right now). I

guess my biggest question is whether or not divorce is inevitable in situations

in which one spouse is a compulsive gambler. Do any couples in this situation

stay together?

>

Sarah,



If you read the posts on this site you already have the answer to your question.

Several of the people who post to this message board have found a way to keep

their marriage together ... including Basket.  I think Basket touched on a very

important issue ... CG's cannot be trusted with money.  So I guess one critical

element in CG's staying in a relationship is their willingness to turnover

control of their finances to their spouse.  Another would be their commitment to

a recovery program ... whether it involves GA, personal counseling or a

combination of the two.  Just as important is the CG of a spouse to set

appropriate boundaries & being totally committed to the agreed upon consequences

of violating those boundaries.



These are all issues that GAm-Anon can help you with.



While things didn't work out for me with my ex CG spouse.  I still believe that

divorce is a last resort.



Good Luck & God Bless,

Gary B.



--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, basket1952 <no_reply@...> wrote:

>

> Sarah, you said that when he runs out of money to visit the casino, he

scratches instant lottery tickets, on an almost daily basis.  If he has no money

for the casino, where on earth does he get money to buy scratch off tickets?

>

> I had to take over all access to money from my husband.  His name is off of

all bank accounts and I hand him cash to get by each day.  He gets maybe 20.00. 

If he spent it on scratch off tickets he would have NOTHING for coffee, tolls,

misc expenses.

>

> Gambling addicts cannot handle having access to money. Access to money turns

into addictive gambling behavior, period.

>

> Have you taken over control and access to all money in your household?  direct

deposit of his pay into your own account is a great starting point.  Also,

getting your own job with your own income deposited into your own account is a

great idea.  That way your home and living are not in jeopardy from gambling.

>

>

>

>

> --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "Sarah" <sjmault@> wrote:

> >

> > My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years, but we've been

together since the 9th grade. We're only 26 and 25 years old, respectively. I

love him dearly, but he's a compulsive gambler. When he has no access to the

nearest casino (e.g. usually no money), he scratches instant lottery tickets.

The tickets are an almost daily occurrence. I find them hidden everywhere. I

can't even remember a time that this hasn't been a problem. He is fully aware

and admits to being a compulsive gambler and to the fact that it is ruining his

life. He recently initiated treatment for himself, and I'm holding my breath to

see if it helps at all. Intellectually, I know that this is his problem, and I

have no control over it. Emotionally, though, I'm a wreck. I don't want to leave

him, and I can't financially afford to leave him either (at least right now). I

guess my biggest question is whether or not divorce is inevitable in situations

in which one spouse is a compulsive gambler. Do any couples in this situation

stay together?

> >

>