Sandy,
Perhaps you need some legal advice regarding the mortgage. I think the
more important issue would be title to your home. I know in Idaho your
CG could sign a "quit claim" deed placing you in sole ownership, but I
don't have a clue for you since you obviously live in Canada. If you
and your CG cannot agree on how the finances will be managed, perhaps
you can both meet with a counselor and work it out with a third party.
You can never put up enough firewalls of protection. It's a fine line
between doing what is sensible and what will be looked upon (by the CG)
as controlling. Obviously you cannot control the CG illness, but it is
reasonable to require financial protection for the assets you jointly own.
Jim

sandyemrs wrote:

> Jim, I got your message early this morning and thought I replied
> but I must not have posted it! I changed my email account
> to a private account but I'm sure that will show up when I
> post messages. Thanks for the welcome. I like what you said
> about having some time to work out ground rules during our
> vacation. I am seriously playing with the idea of placing
> all of our accounts in my name - everything is joint -
> I just don't know how far to go with it. I'm thinking
> of changing all of our bank accounts - but would like
> some advice (?) regarding our mortgage. Do I need to consider
> putting the mortgage in my name only? I have found only 3 gam-anon
> meetings in the entire province! - I may be able to attend one
> once in awhile - I'll have to travel - I live in a rural
> area. I started out in Al-Anon a long time ago and may
> consider going back - I know of a really good group
> but again I need to travel. I'm willing to do this.
> Thanks for the kind words and some hope.
>
> --- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, Jim Morphey
> <jmorphey@c...> wrote:
> > Its great to have a new member to stir things up. Its been too
> quiet
> > around here. Perhaps your Hawaii trip will give you both some
> time to
> > reflect and agree on some ground rules. As hard as it might be,
> it is a
> > wise thing for you to be the gatekeeper for all the fiinances, at
> least
> > for now. I somehow feel that twenty-five years together is a big
> > instentive for coming to an agreement. My ony other suggestion is
> that
> > you attend gamanon meetings. If they are not available, then
> alanon.
> > You find a different focus from your other 12 step program and
> just the
> > ticket for those of us who love a CG. I wish you a great time in
> > Hawaii. Remember its one day at a time.
> > Jim
> >
> > sandyalbertathome wrote:
> >
> > > Sandra and others:
> > > thanks for writing back. Ya, this is tough.
> > > I'm in my own recovery so I know we all are responsible
> > > for our own...recovery that is. I do need support
> > > from Gamanon. I have support for my recovery but
> > > this is different. I've told my spouse that I need
> > > my own support with his addiction and I think he understands
> that...
> > > I'm just not sure where I start - financially that is.
> > > One message I received was that putting everything in
> > > my name was a good idea so maybe I'll start there...
> > > it may give me some piece of mind.
> > > I have access to some literature on cg and have read
> > > a little. We are leaving for Hawaii next week for
> > > a vacation we've been planning for awhile -
> > > I'm hoping that will give us a little breathing room.
> > > I'll keep reading the posted messages.
> > > If you could help me get into a chat room/ on line
> > > meeting, I'd appreciate that. thanks again.
> > >
> > >
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