Hello Kristie,

First off, welcome to the group. You will find a lot of support here. Like you,
I am a daughter of a compulsive gambler. In my case, it's my dad. I didn't live
with my dad at the height of his gambling but I felt the pain it caused because
he would ask me for money. How can you say no to your parent, right? You're just
helping, right? Wrong. We are actually enabling them and telling them it's okay
what they do; we'll just bail you out. To help your mom, you have to help
yourself. I can't recommend enough to attend a GAMANON meeting...hopefully
there's one in your town. You just go, listen - talk if you want to talk but
talk to others who have been in your shoes or are in your shoes. It makes a
WORLD of a difference. That 100 ton pound of bricks on your shoulders slowly
starts to lift.

Your mom will need to get help on her own since this goes deeper than just
gambling. I've learned that addictions are what people think are the answer to
dealing with traumatic episodes in their life. They rather experience that
instant gratification then dealing with the real issue.

Something else I can tell you is this....your mom's gambling has NOTHING to do
with her love for you. I always asked myself that question "how can he love me
and still do this to me, to my family". This isn't about love, it's about an
illness. But you can't help others if you can't help yourself. And Kristie, you
are not alone.

I'm here, correction, we're here to listen, to support, to pray.


--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "kleawest" <kleawest@...> wrote:
>
> I am 31 years old and the daughter of a compulsive gambler.  My mother has now
become MY daughter. She came to live with me after a failed relationship.  She
moved out on her own and was finally starting a new life, but then catastrophy
hit.  She lost everything she owned in Hurricane Katrina and had to move back in
with me has lived with me since then.
>
> She doesn't want to work, move back out on her own, or any other things you
would expect a grown woman should do.  She justifies her gambling by using
tramatic experiences in her life.  She is an extremely negative person and
brings me to a very depressed state just by being around her.  She constantly
complains and never seems to be satisfied or happy about anything.
>
> She is an R.N. who makes more money than I do, but she never has any money. 
She has no bills to pay but still borrows money from me after losing her entire
paycheck at the casino.  I'm becoming resentful and overwhelmed. I have no idea
how to help her as conventional methods seem they do not apply.  Se is not one
to open up to strangers about her personal life so groups or therapy is not
really an option.  Even if she did go, she wouldn't benefit much because she
won't talk to anyone.
>
> There's obviously so much more to the story, but hopefully this is enough to
explain my situation at the moment.
>
> If anyone has any kind words or suggestions for me, I would greatly appreciate
you taking the time to reply to this posting.
>
> Kristie
>