Kristie,
The best first step is to NOT provide money to your mother no matter what.
Plus, she needs to have the regular expenses of life, so if you are letting her
live with you rent free, you have to stop that.

If she runs out of money because she has gambled it away, she is OUT OF MONEY.
Period. Do not give her money at all. Sometimes gamblers will come up with all
kinds of stories to get money . . my purse was stolen; my paycheck was lost;
etc. Do not fall for them.

If she is sharing your home/apartment she needs to pay HALF of the
rent/mortgage/food/utilities. Do not let her freeload on you. She must pay her
fair share. If she is working as a nurse and making more than you, she CAN pay
this. If she isn't working and claims she doesn't have the money, she needs to
get out and get a job.

If she doesn't want to do this, pay her fair share, please consider having her
move elsewhere.

Providing support, money to a gambling addict is enabling. Addictions thrive
when others around the addict enable the addiction. If your mom didn't have
access to your money and support she would not be able to gamble as much as she
does now. she would have to stop when her money ran out, unless she resorted to
theft and robbery.

Her statements about how hard her life has been, how much she has lost, how
unhappy she is . . .these may well be attempts to manipulate you so that you
will feel guilty and continue to give her money and support.

Please try to find a face to face gamanon in your area to attend. There is so
much to learn about the gambling addiction and about enabling behavior. You
need all the help you can get for YOU in dealing with your mom and her addiction
in a positive and productive way.

First step should be to cut her off from any and all money from you. Also, set
up a realistic 'share' of the expenses of your living arrangement and let her
know that out of her earnings MUST come XX dollars starting now. If she fusses,
gets angry, lays a guilt trip on you . . .well that is what an addict does. You
don't have to fall for it. If she doesn't want to pay her fair share, she can
live elsewhere.



--- In gamanonsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com, "kleawest" <kleawest@...> wrote:
>
> I am 31 years old and the daughter of a compulsive gambler. My mother has now
become MY daughter. She came to live with me after a failed relationship. She
moved out on her own and was finally starting a new life, but then catastrophy
hit. She lost everything she owned in Hurricane Katrina and had to move back in
with me has lived with me since then.
>
> She doesn't want to work, move back out on her own, or any other things you
would expect a grown woman should do. She justifies her gambling by using
tramatic experiences in her life. She is an extremely negative person and
brings me to a very depressed state just by being around her. She constantly
complains and never seems to be satisfied or happy about anything.
>
> She is an R.N. who makes more money than I do, but she never has any money.
She has no bills to pay but still borrows money from me after losing her entire
paycheck at the casino. I'm becoming resentful and overwhelmed. I have no idea
how to help her as conventional methods seem they do not apply. Se is not one
to open up to strangers about her personal life so groups or therapy is not
really an option. Even if she did go, she wouldn't benefit much because she
won't talk to anyone.
>
> There's obviously so much more to the story, but hopefully this is enough to
explain my situation at the moment.
>
> If anyone has any kind words or suggestions for me, I would greatly appreciate
you taking the time to reply to this posting.
>
> Kristie
>