>

RAD is a distinct possibility, although it would have developed a
little later in my life than the articles suggest (around 10). I
absolutely have had problems in developing "attachments" with people;
to the point that by the time I was 18 if I had to sit and have a one
on one conversation with someone my entire body would start shaking
and I would feel sick to my stomach. It is not as bad now but I still
tend to be very inhibited, nervous, and anxious with people that I do
not know well.

kathy
redwood city, ca

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Yes! That's me! It started when I was five though. Sometimes people think
that I'm a real jerk, but it's just that I panic out and don't know what to so
say. The first thing that pops into my head os often hostile or offensive
simply because I am trying to defend myself. I feel terrible afterwards. The
outward appearance, though, is like narcissism. It's like I can dish it out but
can't take it. It's a really ugly personality trait.

Anyway, here is a list of RAD characteristics in adults:

Avoidant

Intense anger and loss
Hostile
Overly critical of others
Sensitive to blame
Lack of empathy
Views others as untrustworthy or undependable
Views self as unlovable, or too good for others
Relationships feel either threatening to one's sense of control, not worth the
effort, or both
Compulsive self-reliance
Passive withdrawal
Low levels of perceived support
Difficulty getting along with co-workers, often preferring to work alone
Work may provide a good excuse to avoid personal relations
Fear of closeness in relationships
Avoidance of intimacy
Unlikely to idealize the love relationship
Tendency toward self criticism
Anxious/Ambivalent

Compulsive caregiving
Feel overinvolved and underappreciated
No longterm relationships
Idealizing of others
Strong desire for partner to reciprocate in relationship
Desire for extensive contact and declarations of affections
Overinvests his/her emotions in a relationship
Perceives relationships as imbalanced
Preoccupation or dependence on relationship
Views partner as desirable but unpredictable (sometimes available, sometimes
not)
Perceives others as difficult to understand
Relationship is primary method by which one can experience a sense of security
Unlikely to view others as altruistic
Sensitive to rejection
Discomfort with anger
Extreme emotions
Jealous
Possessive
Views self as unlovable
Suicide attempts
Mood swings
Tendency toward dependent depression

Note: The above information was derived from a number of sources, one of them
being the Evergreen Consultants in Human Behavior, based in Evergreen, Colorado.


http://www.radkid.org/adult_attachment.html

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I'm sure you noticed the similarity to NPD. Especially this: "Views self as
unlovable, or too good for others ."

Larry