One of the more difficult parts of parenting a child with autism, and
something that can be hard to talk about, is the embarrassment you
may feel about your child's behavior. As parents, we're not supposed
to feel embarrassed about our children, yet we're also taught that
children should behave, and if they don't, it's probably a result of
faulty parenting.
This belief system can be very disempowering, especially for a parent
of a child with autism, because it's impossible to control everything
your child does. At those times when your child is acting strangely
or falling apart, you can feel embarrassed or angry about the
judgment you may feel from others. As a result, you may feel pressure
to do something against your instincts, such as punish your child,
just to save face, to look like you're in control, or to assuage your
anger.
In reality, just like the sadness issue, how you feel about others'
opinions is completely up to you. Believe it or not, you can choose
to feel however you like when your child throws a tantrum in the
mall. You don't have to feel unhappy just because your child is
unhappy, or because others may judge you or your child. It's possible
to empathize with your child in the situation while remaining happy
and calm, or at least neutral and calm....

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/autismnvc