--- Perla <northernstar7112@...> wrote:

> Larry, thank you for allowing this discusion because
> both sides can
> gain from it.
>
> What I believe that is important and no one realizes
> is the fact
> that a child of an unhappy mother will grow up to be
> an unhappy
> child. I know of mothers who gave everything to
> their child, love,
> care, affection, everything, but because of this
> sacrifise they
> ended up being very unhappy. They hid their
> unhappiness from their
> child pretending they were fine, but as you know
> there is nothing
> about a parent and certainly a mother that a child
> won't notice,
> won't know. We simply know when our parents are
> happy and when they
> are not.
>
> You see what reserachers fail to understand is that
> a parent, a
> mother is a role model for the child. A happy
> parent/mother will
> teach by example and her child will learn to also
> seek ways to be
> happy. An unhappy mother will not give her chid this
> positve example
> and a child of an unhappy mother will struggle with
> far more
> depressions, and other emotions no matter if the
> mother brought this
> child up with tones and tones of love and care.
>
> This means that the issue is not that of a choice. A
> happy mother
> will give more love and thus create a happy child
> and also teach the
> child how to seek hapiness in their own life. An
> unhappy mother will
> create an unhappy child becaus ethe child will
> realize the mother's
> unhappiness and feel guilt, or blame itself, despite
> of the love it
> receives.
>
> The relationship between a mother and child is so
> fundamental as no
> other relationship, and I am sure that Freud knew
> and realized that
> very well only did not understand how difficult a
> woman's life is,
> we face great choices in our lives that men do nit
> face. Our ability
> to give birth creates both a privikledge and a
> burden, we have to
> choose between doing what we want and doing what our
> body wants.
>
> A man's life is linear a woman's life is extreme ups
> and downs that
> are already there as a hormonal cicle every month.
> As a man you
> can't even imagine how it is to be a woman a bit
> like a NT can't
> imagine how it is to be autistic. There are
> fundamental differences
> that can cause great problems and hardships.
>
> Science should not seek to sacrifise one to benefit
> the other but to
> create a balance between these two extremes and seek
> a solution that
> will work both for the mothers and the children.
> because a happy
> mother means a happy child and a happy child means a
> happy mother.
>
> I will go for both, would you join me?
>
> Star


Sure. I'll join you. But I have to spread the word
that early trauma--and even neglect--can lead to
autism; and I refuse to get shouted down. Other than
that, I will be kind to even the coldest refrigerator
mom. I will encourage her, protect her and mother
her.

Yours,
Larry



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