--- Perla <northernstar7112@...> wrote:

> Seeing from my reaction and I am not even a mom...
> yes! I agree that
> these women are very angry. Because they are
> fighting against many
> fronts with no compassion, no understanding, and no
> affection.
> Remember moms of autistic kids are not receiving
> affection from
> their kids, are most probably married to an autistic
> husband or are
> single moms because because the autistic husband was
> to scared
> shitless to care for an autistic child and there is
> society who
> expects them to be loving and giving and nurturing
> but NO ONE is
> loving or giving or nurturing towards tehse women...
>
> Yes, if I am angry being outside their shoes I can
> only imagine what
> anger and mostly frustration these (autistic) women
> endure.
>
> Star


You're right that the refrigerator moms are probably
autistic. That was Kanner's assumption. Strangely,
if Kanner was right, that doesn't necessarily rule out
Bettelheim's basic premise.

Here is the problem: If autism is, in fact, inherited
it might be inherited as a predisposition--OR a
predisposition might be due to infantile trauma. The
results are still the same. It's unknowable. And if
the mother is something less than demonstrative in her
love for a vulnerable child, regardless of the
genetics issue, that can push the child over the edge.


It might be like a vicious circle. The autistic
mother is the cause of her child's autism, and the
child grows up to produce autistic children--all
perhaps regardless of genetics. It's all unknowable.


And it's not our place to take sides on this issue,
because we don't know enough. What we do need,
though, is an open mind. I am not going to be
sympathetic to any mother who closes her mind to--and
tries to shout down--an important area research. It's
self-serving and just plain selfish.

I'll be sympthetic to her child instead. I think
that's where you and I differ.

Yours,
Larry



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