Here's some info on sibling support that I found on ASA's site.  I am looking up the ARC's Sib Shop Info. 

My daughter is already saying that we should have a group that meets each month, and the kids can come up
with a group name and plan activities and yes, she says t-shirts! 

Sibling Issues

Raising a child with autism places some extraordinary demands on parents as individuals and on the family as a whole. Prime among these demands is the lack of enough hours in the day to do all one wishes. The time involved in meeting the needs of a family member with autism may leave parents with little time for their other children.

Many parents indicate that even as they do all they can for their child with autism, they are always struggling with how best to respond to the needs of the family as a whole. They say that although their own life as an individual may be put "on hold" and a couple may share an understanding of the need to make sacrifices on behalf of their child with autism, few parents are willing to make that same demand of other children in the family. As a result, there is a continual tension between the needs of the child with autism and the other children.

This section offers suggestions to parents about ways to help the other children in the family cope gracefully and effectively with the experience of having a brother or sister with autism. Research indicates that the majority of brothers and sisters of children with autism cope well with their experiences. That does not mean, however, that they do not encounter special challenges in learning how to deal with a sibling who has autism or a related disorder.

There are special demands on siblings, and learning how to manage these demands will make their childhood easier and will teach them skills that will make them more effective and resilient adults. The most important teachers of these coping skills are a child's mother and father. The gifts you give to your youngsters in childhood will serve them immediately, and in all the years ahead.

Many of the suggestions provided here are things that parents can do within the family to help a child understand what autism is all about, to improve the interactions among the children in the family, and to ensure that brothers and sisters grow up feeling they have benefited from the love and attention we all so much need.

Explaining Autism to Children

Common sense tells us and research supports the idea that children need to understand what autism is all about. The rule of thumb: Do it early and do it often! It is important that your children know about autism and that the information you give them is appropriate for their developmental age. From early childhood, they need explanations that help them understand the behaviors that are of concern to them. For the preschool, child this may be as simple as "Rick doesn't know how to talk," while for the adolescent, it may involve a conversation about the possible genetics of autism.

The key is to remember to adjust your information to your child's age and understanding. For example, very young children are mostly concerned about unusual behaviors that may frighten or puzzle them. An older child will have concerns of a more interpersonal nature, such as how to explain autism to his or her friends. For the adolescent, these concerns may shift to the long-range needs of their sibling with autism and the role they will play in future care. Every age has its needs, and your task is to listen carefully to your child's immediate concerns.

Another key to success is to remember that children need to be told about autism again and again as they grow up. Young children may use the words they hear us use, but not understand the full meaning of those words until they are much older. Don't be mislead by a young child's vocabulary of words like "autism" or "discrete trial." That does not mean the terms have real meaning for him or her. Just as you would not expect an early conversation about the obvious physical differences between boys and girls to constitute a sufficient sex education for children five years or 10 years later, similarly, you must explain again and again, in increasingly mature terms, what autism is all about.

Helping Your Children Form a Relationship

Because of the nature of autism, it is usually difficult for a young child to form a satisfying relationship with a brother or sister who has the disorder. For example, your child's attempts to play with his/her brother are probably rebuffed by his ignoring her, fall flat because of his lack of play skills, or end abruptly because his tantrums are frightening. How many of us would keep trying to form a friendship with someone who turned her back when we spoke to her, or, even worse, seemed angry when we approached?

It is not surprising that young children may become discouraged by the reactions they encounter and seek their playmates elsewhere.

The good news is that young children can be taught simple skills that will enable them to engage their brother or sister in playful interactions. Research has shown that siblings can learn basic teaching strategies to engage their brother or sister with autism. These skills included things like making sure they had their brother's attention, giving simple instructions, and praising good play. One research study showed that videotapes made before and after the children learned these skills showed in a very touching manner that, after training, they played together more and seemed much happier than they had been prior to training.

Special Times

Along with ensuring that the child with autism is a fully integrated member of the family; it is important to remember that other children in a family need their times to be special. Families are often urged to find some regular, separate time for the children in their family who do not have autism. It may be one evening a week, a Saturday morning, or even a few minutes at bedtime each night. If your child with autism has a home-based program or exhibits serious management problems, you will have neither the stamina nor the energy to give your other child exactly the same amount of attention. It is not necessary that everything in childhood be exactly the same. What is important is the opportunity to feel special to your parents and to feel that there is an overall atmosphere of equity in your home.

Not Everything as a Family

There are activities that should be shared by all the family and times that should not. Along with having regularly scheduled special times for each child, it is also important to remember that there will be some events when one child in the family deserves to be the focus of everyone's attention. Children have told us that it is sometimes frustrating to have to do everything with their brother or sister with autism. In fact, there may be times when it may not be fair to insist that he or she be included. For example, if your child with autism cannot sit still for a school play, then it may be better if he or she stayed home when your other child performs.

Adult Siblings

Being the brother or sister of a person with autism does not end with childhood. These are lifetime relationships that mature and grow over the years. The concerns of an adult sibling will be different from those of children. For the young adult, questions may focus on their own plans to have children and concern about whether there is a genetic component in the autism of their sibling. In some cases, young adults may also feel a keen sense of responsibility for their brother or sister with autism that makes it difficult for them to leave home and begin an independent life.

It is important that parents discuss with their adult children the expectations they have in caring for the person with autism, as well as reassuring them about the legitimacy of their assuming their own role as adults.

The questions of the role of the adult child become most acute as parents age and begin to anticipate the point when they will no longer have the stamina to continue to care for their child with autism. If the person with autism is not already living outside of the home, this may be a time when placement in a group home or supervised apartment become important. In those families where such care is necessary, adult children and parents must together address the question of who will assume guardianship for the person with autism when the parents die.

It is not easy for any of us to talk about our own death, and both you and your child may shy away from the conversation. Nonetheless, your adult children need to understand the financial plans you have made, the care arrangements in place, and your own expectations for them. Having these difficult conversations will ultimately be a gift to your adult children who will know that they can honor your wishes.

Sibling Groups and Other Resources

A problem frequently reported to clinicians by siblings is a sense of isolation. An ideal means of combating this isolation is to help the sibling connect with other siblings of children with autism. Peer support groups for siblings of children with autism and related disorders are becoming more available.

The Sibling Support Project of The Arc of the United States, based in Seattle, Washington, is one example. They offer a range of information on siblings of children with disabilities, including: reading lists for children and adults, information on local sibling group meetings, information on facilitating sibling discussion groups, or online resources. Their Web site address is: http://www.siblingsupport.org/

The New Jersey Center for Outreach and Services for the Autism Community (COSAC) matches siblings with pen pals around the country as well as internationally. Online resources are also available. For example, a chat room for siblings of children with disabilities, called "SibChat," meets periodically. A final resource to consider for siblings, particularly for those who are experiencing difficulty in adapting to the disability, would be individual counseling.

Most Siblings Cope Very Well

While growing up as the sibling of someone with autism can certainly be trying, most siblings cope very well. It is important to remember that while having a sibling with autism or any other disability is a challenge to a child, it is not an insurmountable obstacle. Most children handle the challenge effectively, and many of them respond with love, grace and humor far beyond their years.

Note: The previous section was provided by Sandra Harris, Ph.D.,professor and dean at the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology and Executive Director of the Douglass Developmental Disabilities Center at Rutgers University.

Dr. Lauren Snyder in Ship Bottom on Long BEach Island
does this I believe.

Karen P. Schwing
Frederic A. Priff School
139 Wells Mills Road
Waretown, NJ 08758
609-693-0545
Karen_Schwing@...



________________________________________________________________________________\
____
Have a burning question?
Go to www.Answers.yahoo.com and get answers from real people who know.

Good Morning:

Looking for a Developmental Optometrist who specializes in reading
disabilities (vision therapy).

Any information is greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Dear Isabelle,

I'm having a perimenopause moment!  What time is the support group
Meeting this evening!

Lynne

We have a FACES meeting tomorrow night at Ocean Academy, but I was just
making sure that everyone remembered.  Hope to see you there.

Isabelle

Just wanted to know when the next Faces meeting is in Cape May
County...I know they are usually the 1st Monday of the month, but I
wanted to see if there was one for January....or when the next one
would be...Thanks

Dear Southern Ocean County FAMILES,

I was hoping to hear from one of the families in Southern Ocean County this month regarding the child care situation. 

Unfortunately, this leaves me no other choice but to no longer offer these services during the monthly meetings.  Effective Janaury 26th, there will be no child care available in Manahawkin. 

We offer this service free of charge, and only need someone to coordinate the babysitters and FACES pays them for their time.  I am not able to make it to all of the meetings to manage child care services since I do not live in Ocean County, and currently coordinate meetings in Atlantic and Cape May.  You are welcome to attend those meetings, where we will continue to offer child care. 

If there is a family who would be able to arrange for two babysitters at each meeting, we can resume business as usual.  Please call me at 412-3750, if you would like to see this courtesy service continue in Manahawkin.  I can give you many ideas on resources for child care in your area.  Thank you for your concern and cooperation in this matter.

Speaker: Cheryl Lees, M.Ed., CCC-SLP

Cheryl Lees is a speech therapist for the Cape May County Special Services School District.  She has thirty years experience in working with children of all ages with disabilities.  Cheryl is also a DIR candidate and working towards her certification.

COST:  The fee for each workshop is a $5 donation for FACES members and a $10 donation for non-members. 
There is no charge for Linwood School's staff members. 

v     Open to all teachers, paraprofessionals, therapists and caregivers

v     CEUs are available for educators upon request

v     Light refreshments will be served 

v    To register or for more information, please contact Jennifer at faceseducation@yahoo.com or 609-927-2825 by February 2^nd

FACES Autism Education Series Presents:

DR. STANLEY GREENSPAN¡¦S
¡§FLOORTIME¡¨ - the DIR
approach


Location:
Belhaven Avenue School
51 Belhaven Ave.
(off Patcong Ave.) Linwood, NJ (Atlantic County, NJ)
For school directions: 609-926-6700

Date:
Tuesday, Feb. 6, 2007

Time:
6:00pm to 9:00pm

This workshop will focus on relationship-based intervention for
children with autism and other disorders of relating and
communicating. An understanding will be gained in the basic
principals and philosophy of the DIR model. Relationships and their
role in development will be discussed and DIR strategies will be
given for use at home and in the community.

Speaker: Cheryl Lees, M.Ed., CCC-SLP

Cheryl Lees is a speech therapist for the Cape May County Special
Services School District.  She has thirty years experience in working
with children of all ages with disabilities.

COST:  The fee for each workshop is a $5 donation for FACES members
and a $10 donation for non-members.

**There is no charge for Linwood School¡¦s staff members. **

ľ Open to all teachers, paraprofessionals, therapists and caregivers
ľ CEUs are available for educators upon request
ľ Light refreshments will be served
ľ To register please contact Jennifer at faceseducation@... or
609-927-2825 by February 2nd. Please leave a message spelling your
last name & whether or not you would like CEU's.

Hi Everyone,

To find the pdf brochure for the Possibilities Conference, please use
box on the left and click on files, then click on the Special Events
Folder. The last post contains a broken link to the document.

NJ TASH, SPAN, ASPEN, 21 DOWN and FACES Present
2007 South Jersey
Possibilities Conference
on Autism and Developmental Disabilities

Saturday, February 24, 2007
8:30AM-4:30PM
Atlantic Cape Community College Theater
Mays Landing, NJ

Open to Families, Friends and Professionals
Registration costs $40 member/ $45 non-member /$50 Professional
*Free Session to ACCC Students and Faculty with Valid ID*

Explore topics such as: Changes to the Administrative Code, Diffusing
Anxiety, Fears and Phobias, Expanding Writing and Learning for
Struggling Students and much more.

Registration includes continental breakfast and box lunch.

Hello,

This email message is a notification to let you know that
a file has been uploaded to the Files area of the facesautism
group.

   File        : /Possibilities Conference Brochure1.pdf
   Uploaded by : collguedes <coll.guedes@...>
   Description : Possibilities Conference Brochure in PDF

You can access this file at the URL:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/facesautism/files/Possibilities%20Conference%20Bro\
chure1.pdf

To learn more about file sharing for your group, please visit:
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/groups/files

Regards,

collguedes <coll.guedes@...>

Do you need a respite program for your teen with autism?
Russ Berger from Autism Family Services is looking for DDD teens with
autism, (ages 13 to 25) for the Sat. afternoon drop-off program at the
JCC in Margate.  Call your child's DDD case manager to sign up.

Isabelle Mosca

Hi Francine,
Barbara Strate of MOSAIC does a great presentation on Disney World with
Special Needs.  She will be presenting at the Possibilities Conference on
February 24th at ACCC.  I have attached a copy of the brochure and will post
one in the files at facesautism's website:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/facesautism/.
I used many of her suggestions on our first trip this past October with our
twins, age seven.  It really made the trip easier than it would've been.
Many may not agree with this, but my personal opinion is that Disney is hard
for anyone, but special needs families just need to plan out their
spontaneity.  Meltdowns are eminent around every corner, but we found that
the typical child (AND PARENTS) had many more!

Isabelle

We have decided to venture off to Disney World this spring.  Any
suggestions from anyone who has dealt with Disney and autism before??
This will be our 3rd time going, but this is the first time I plan to
bring a doc's note for my son's autism & epilepsy.  What can I expect?
Thanks!

--Francine

Happy New Year to All of our FACES families and friends.

May we all discover new methods of engagement for our children with
autism, new ways for their siblings to establish a positive identity,
and may we, as parents and grandparents, develop those patience skills
and find friends to share their ideas of hope.

Look for programs to help us all meet these goals in 2007.

Isabelle and the FACES Team

Can anyone recommend a good book on Asperger's Syndrome? My son was
recently diagnosed, and I'd like to find a reliable book on it. If
anyone's interested, I found "Children with Autism--A Parent's Guide"
to be an excellent book. I'm just looking for something more
specifically geared toward Asperger's. Thank you for your help.

Penny

Viewing your eCard is a snap!  Just choose from the following options:

Click on the following link.
http://www.yahoo.americangreetings.com/view.pd?i=248378960&m=2392&rr=y&source=ya\
hoo999

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For your security, if you'd prefer not to click on links within this email,
please type:
http://www.yahoo.americangreetings.com/findit.pd?source=yahoo999&rr=y into your
web browser
and enter the following eCard Number, 2483789602392, on our eCard Pick Up Page.


We hope you enjoy your eCard.  If you have any comments or questions, please
visit
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Greet 'em with a call! Make PC-to-Phone calls worldwide for as low as 1¢/min.
with Yahoo! Messenger with Voice.
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Thanks for using Yahoo! Greetings with AmericanGreetings.com.

T'was the night before Christmas..
The dinner is burned, the smoke alarm is buzzing,
your kids unwrapped ALL the gifts, but thanks to Chris and Mary,
your child with autism's good sensory diet has enabled him to
withstand it all with flying colors!
Share a dye-free candy cane, or stevia sweetened organic lemonade and
relax!  Your gift has arrived!
There is PEACE in your house right now.  I wish you all a moment of
peace, and a night out on Dec. 28th to the Children's Museum.  We will
be there for all the families who need to escape from the relatives!
Come share your stories of fun and furor!  We need a good laugh every
now and then.
Let us give thanks for all the gifts of love our families offer us
with each new day.  I would not trade them for the world.

Here's to a great new year for all of us.
Hope you enjoy your holidays from all of us at FACES:
Isabelle, Trish, Mary Ann, Wanda, Beth, Kelly, Michele, Jennifer,
Kristen, Cindy, Susan, Chris,and Cheech

Our FACES Autism Education Series e-mail address will be changing
today. If you would like to continue receiving e-mails about future
FACES Autism Education workshops please e-mail us at our new address
at http://faceseducation@yahoo.com You will only receive updates from
FACES if you e-mail us at this new address..

As a reminder:

Schedule for FACES Autism Education Series at the
Belhaven Middle School in Linwood
Atlantic County)
6-9pm

Feb. 6 Cheryl Lees, ST- "DIR" Approach/Stanley Greenspan's "Floor
time"

March 6 Megann Czekalski, BCABA- Social Skills & Behavior Management

April 3 Pam Modugno, OTR- Brain gym, YOGA & Sensory Integration
Dysfunction

May 8 – To be determined

FACES Education Series is free of charge to any Linwood school
district educator

CEU's are provided upon request at registration

HAPPY HOLIDAYS to all & we look forward to seeing you in 2007!

Sincerely,
Jennifer Dowdell
FACES volunteer & coordinator of the 2006-2007 Autism Education Series

Sadly, I am embarrassed to say that before Autism touched my life all
I knew about the disorder came from watching the character played by
Dustin Hoffman in the film "Rainman".
Experts who I turned to help me understand autism did little to
explain to me about the options available and when I asked them about
special classes and treatment options - well let's just say they were
not very helpful.
So, I searched high and low for good books on Autism, but struggled
to find anything useful. The few that I did find were either poorly
written, written for doctors or medical practitioners, contained out-
of-date information or only part of the information that I needed. I
am sure you have found the same...
So, I searched high and low for good books on Autism, but struggled
to find anything useful. The few that I did find were either poorly
written, written for doctors or medical practitioners, contained out-
of-date information or only part of the information that I needed. I
am sure you have found the same...
So, the only option available was to find the answers myself...
And so, I spent many hours, days, weeks researching proven techniques
to diagnose and manage Autism, and they have been compiled into a
comprehensive, but easy to understand ebook for anyone looking for
answers...
http://autismres.blogspot.com/#

Since 1987, THE CAMP EXPERTS & TEEN SUMMERS has helped thousands of
families find quality overnight camps, teen travel, specialty camps,
sports camps, outdoor adventure programs, community service programs,
special needs camps and more – all with a personal touch.



Through our relationships with more than 900 programs, we help you
select the most appropriate program for the individual child.
Throughout the year, I am in contact with program directors to stay
abreast of the newest advances in program planning, facility
improvements and other updates.  Every summer, I travel and view more
than 100 programs in action through first-hand, personal tours and
meetings with program directors for up-to-date information.



I interview parents by telephone so that I may learn about the
children's interests, strengths and personality in order to find
quality programs that best fit the children, in the right location,
for the right amount of time and for the right price.



I look forward to hearing from you!



Your Personal Summer Program Advisor,
          Beth

THE CAMP EXPERTS & TEEN SUMMERS
BETH GOLDSTEIN / Joanne Paltrowitz
PHONE:  610-658-0744
FAX:  610-658-1947
beth@...
www.campexperts.com

Traveling with multiple children that can dart off in different
directions can be challenging.  Ever since my kids were little
babies, I have dressed them in matching bright shirt colors so that
I can keep track of them as we navigate crowded airports, amusement
parks or even the zoo.  Our brand new UA shirts are great for any
outing whether you are going far from home or just to the mall.

They are bright orange, not because it is our favorite color but
because it is easy to spot and people don't wear it often!

We have found it helpful in the past when traveling especially for
Liam to wear some article of clothing that says autism.  When he is
talking to new people we come in contact with, it helps them
understand him more readily, increases their level of patience and
understanding which in turn helps him feel more confident in his
communication skills!

There are tons of other gift ideas and things on SALE from t-shirts
to bracelets and more!  Make great presents for teachers and
therapists as well!

All orders placed by Midnight, Sunday, December 17th will be shipped
out via USPS Priority mail on Monday, December 18th.

Visit www.unlockingautism.org today!


THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!!



Shelley Hendrix Reynolds

Unlocking Autism



PS: University of Tennessee, University of Florida and University of
Texas fans, people attending the Orange Bowl this year, etc., do not
need to send me emails telling me how much you like orange....we are
in the SEC conference down here...we know, we know!!!!

Please read and contact Kara  Pothier DIRECTLY if youâ?Tre
interested, as I
have no other  information:

kara.pothier@...   or 609-279-0863.

Kara  is a coordinating producer for Nick News with Linda  Ellerbee.

Thank you.

Chris Walsh


From Kara Pothier:
>
I am working on a half-hour program  for Nick News that will be all
about
Autism Related Disorders. Our goal is to  explain to 12-15 year olds
what Autism is and what other disorders are  related to it, what it
is
like to be a kid with a disability, and what other  kids can learn
from
kids with Autism their and families.
>
For the  show, we are looking for kids and families who may be
willing
to tell their  stories about growing up with Autism and/or
Aspergers. I
assure you all  kids/families will be featured in a positive light.
Nick News has been on the  air for over 15 years now, and is highly
respected not only in the tv field,  but also by parent and teacher
groups.
>
I am in the early stages of  research/production, but I hope to start
talking to some families by phone in  the next couple of weeks.
>
In general, we would like to feature the  following on our show:
>
*A kid between the ages of 12-15 who has  Aspergers who could talk
about what his/her life is like.â?�
>
*A kid  between the ages of 12-15 who has high functioning autism and
who may be able  to explain in their own words what autism is and
what
their life is  like.â?�
>
*A kid between the ages of 12-15 who has a sibling with autism  (more
severe) who would be willing to talk about how having a sibling
with  a
disability has affected their lives.â?�
>
*A kid between the ages of  12-15 who has an autism related disorder
and who is in a good example of an  inclusive classroom. (We would
like
to interview classmates/friends if  possible.)

We live in Barnegat, which doesn't have an autism program in its
school. However, Waretown does, so we want our son to go there. Should
we hire an attorney to help "persuade" Barnegat to let us put him into
the Waretown school district when we go to the IEP meeting? I hear
that it's difficult otherwise. Has anyone else faced this problem?

Thanks,
Penny

http://www.gpl4u.com/oxalates/oxal-test.pdf In case you can't
participate in the web conference!
Jen