Read this, and you will understand the motivation of a parent whose child has autism.  In fact, it applies to any compassionate heart.  This woman has my respect and praise. 
Happy Holidays to you all.

A motion from new justice: She praises her autistic son

On a day when the state's legal luminaries took turns praising her, the newest justice of the state Supreme Court honored her son.

At her ceremonial swearing-in to the state's highest court yesterday, Justice Helen Hoens said her autistic son, Charles, is the one who "taught me everything I really needed to know to become an associate justice."

Hoens then took the oath of office, administered by a choked-up Chief Justice James Zazzali, with her hand placed on her son's Bible as he stood by her side before a crowd of about 200 people at the Masonic Temple in Trenton. They were joined by her husband, Robert Schwaneberg, a reporter for The Star-Ledger.

Hoens, a 52-year-old Republican from Basking Ridge, joined the Superior Court bench in 1994 and sat in Somerville. She was appointed to the Appellate Division four years ago. She joined the high court about a month ago, after the Senate unanimously approved her nomination.

Wayne Positan, president of the New Jersey State Bar Association and a former law partner of Hoens, said the day was "another chapter of excellence in her distinguished life. ... It is a great day not only for Helen, it is a great day for the justice system, for the court and for the people of New Jersey."

Several speakers said Hoens is smart and passionate about the law, but also stressed her compassion. John Gibbons, the retired chief judge of the U.S. Third Circuit Court of Appeals, said as a young law clerk for him, Hoens showed she could look beyond legal arguments and see that people were involved in every case.

"She will become a great justice," Gibbons said.

In an emotional and personal speech, Hoens said she wanted to thank her son even though he didn't understand what she was saying. She said having an autistic son was not what she planned, that he will never be independent or take care of her in her old age.

Hoens said Charles is one of the people "who lives in the shadows of life," and to be his parent "is to live in the shadows yourself."

"But it's not all bad because you learn things in the shadows," she said. "All around us are people who reach out and touch lives for the better."

Saying most people spend their life "in a hurry," Hoens encouraged those in the audience, when they next encounter someone like her son, to fight the urge to brush past and instead to stop and think and "dig deep down into the reservoir of compassion and kindness."

When she concluded her remarks, Hoens asked her son to stand at his place in the audience. The crowd rose to its feet and gave them both a standing ovation.

Kate Coscarelli covers the Supreme Court and legal issues. She may be reached at (973) 392-4147 or kcoscarelli@....