Hi

My name is Denise and my husband, Ray, was diagnosed with
stage four colon cancer just this past November. He appeared
healthy as a horse until August. Then there was chronic
stomach pain, which he attributed to stress...since it was
a stressful year for our family all around.

By late October, he had lost about 15-20 lbs from lack of
appetite and nausea. We went to a local emergency room
and were told that he probably had the beginnings of an
ulcer...to take Prilosec...and follow up with a regular MD.
We were planning a move and decided that the follow up
could wait for two more weeks...he had meds to see him
through the move.

In early November, our family was packing all our belongings
and moving from Mississippi to Michigan...to start our
new business and a new life that looked to be a great
improvement over the prior situation.

We arrived in Michigan on November 10th and by the 14th,
Ray was in the emergency room again...in great pain...and
was admitted with a tentative diagnosis of Crohn's disease.

5 days of testing later was surgery...a small, simple
resection of the small bowel...but it was more once the
surgeon got in there. He had to remove ALL of Ray's
large bowel and create an ileostomy.

But that's not all...

5 days after that...pathology reports come in and show that
it isn't Crohn's at all...but cancer...eating away at his
bowels from the outsides in...and metastacized on his
abdominal wall.

They gave this ridiculous prognosis of 2 months to 4 years,
and said it was dependent on his reactions to chemo...but
chemo was our only hope. Both love and fear kept me at his
side in the hospital for two whole weeks.

All this after he was released from his employment of over
17 years for reasons of absenteeism...most which were for
stomach ailments etc...

So here we are...no jobs...no money to speak of...two
teenage daughters...one adult daughter who is a new mom...
all living in a new state...with no family, only some
really good friends...on "assistance" for the first time in
nearly 20 years...

Ray has started chemo now and is reacting well so far...but
so far to go...blockages keep coming and going in his small
bowel...caused by the cancer and/or the chemo...still don't
know which for certain.

It seems like life is on hold waiting for the next bit of
news on Ray...and the visits to the hospital (a 50 minute
drive from our friends' home, where we are staying
temporarily) are eating up what money we get on assistance.

I'm sorry if I sound whinny or anything...I am just frustrated
and feeling very alone...he was always the breadwinner and
the final word...and now I have so many new roles.

HELP!!! please... Any advice or sharing would be gold to me
right now.

Thanks for "listening"...

Denise aka Butterfly