Garret you sound like you have this thing licked already. I give you
a lot of credit. I had given up in December, Even tried to run my
car into a pole to make it end that much faster. That's when the doc
introduced me to zoloft. I agreed to see it through all my
treatments, but I still can't commit to anything for a reoccurance.

Does the fear that it is coming back ever go away? Do you ever
forget the 5 day chemo's? Do you eveer feel the "same" again?

I know for me the 5 dayer's were the worst. The hospital was more
than an hour away from my home, my husband would change his work
schedule, he works afternoons to evenings, so he could be home with
our son. So there left no time to make the trip. My 5 dayer's were
done alone. I do remember an occasional nurse coming into the room,
oh and the food service people. Those poor people I was always awake
for, just to tell them not to even bring the tray into to the room.
The smell alone made me sick.

Mind you I am the WORST patient. I have always hated hospitals.
Funny I have spent so much time in them. Before the ES I had some
big medical problems. Lots annd lots of surgery. I had even promised
my son that I was never going to have surgery again....I learned not
to make those promises anymore.

Garret, I wish you and your new family all the best. I know how
cliche it sounds...but you sound like a strong person who can beat
this. Keep up the fight, for yourself and all of us.

Beth