Have you ever considered a stem cell transplant? I had Ewing's that spread to
my lungs. After surgery, chemo, and radiation i had a stem cell. nobody in my
family was a good enough match, so my own cells were harvested, frozen, then
placed back in my body. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to
help, or any information I can provide you with.

garrettj32 <garrettj32@...> wrote: Its been a long time since i've even
log in or even read some of
the messages that people sent. Why, because at times it is dis-
hearting to read them, whether there from actual patients, family
members or friends. It makes my pain and fear of this disease
worse, so i justed stopped until today. I don't know why i read
your letter, just did.
I have been fighting for two years and counting. Have done the
protocal for ewings, chemo, surgery and radiation. Finished over a
year ago, had 3 mos off then had first c-scan back in july of 03'.
It showed that it had spread to the lungs. What i didn't want to
happen and feared the most because of the research that i had done
throught had.
To hear my doc say "your going to die," is, well, i went numb.
and can't put it into words the emotions that ran through me. The
worst is going home and telling my parents, wife and siblings the
news, and telling them that i will start chemo again. Then to look
at my little boy who was going on 1yr at the time and know that i
could never give up, never stop until every option was used or until
i took my last breath, that i will fight for him. I don't want to
miss out on his life, but at the same time i don't want him to form
a memory of his father always being sick and that's all he knows of
me. At times i say to myself that if i'm to die then i want to go
as quickly as possible so that my son doesn't remember his daddy
this way. Then i slap myself and know that i will keep fighting
because i'm to stubborn not to.
I'm 26 going on 80. my body has taken so much abuse, the chemo,
radiation, surgery and all of the little problems along the way that
it's tired and not much strength left. I dare not show it to my
family, i keep my chin held high and keep pressing forward, fearing
that if they sense how tired i am, the more stress and anxiety they
will have to deal with. My mother has been with me every step of
the way. She too has battled cancer, a survivor of breast cancer
twice. She knows all to well what i'm going through and others of
the like.
Recently i just had surgery to remove tumors from my rt lung, i'm
recoving from it still, will do it again on the lt lung in upcoming
month. As i say the battle rages on.
To all of those going through this, whether your patients, family
or friends no matter how tough it gets, or how much you hurt
physically or emotionally,just remember there is always something to
fight for each day. You just have to remind yourself what they are
from the simplest things to the most important things in life.
Also, i've come to except that no matter how tough you think you
are, and always want to do things on your own, it's not a bad thing
to ask for help. We all need it at some point.


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