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Dear Shar, Harriet and All, What a blessing and a pleasure to come back from a short break and actually see that two women had taken the time and effort to speak from their hearts!
What you bring up Shar is so serious and so pervasive in most of us women. It is one of the topics I talk and write about a great deal. We emphasize any potential that we did something wrong and we diminish what is good, talented and wonderful about ourselves. How can we win with that combination?
My client was telling me how awful she felt after a negative e-mail from a co-worker. She was obsessed with bad feelings and it spoiled a special day for her. This is what I advised to her at the time. I suggestion either action or distraction. Let me explain. Either take a realistic form of action-such as responding to the e-mail if she could with a clear head and clear thinking-or step back and distract herself for awhile with something good for herself such as a fast walk, talking to a friend, exercise that she enjoys, etc. Yes, she will still be haunted to some extent by the her reactions but often times we begin to see during those hours that all is not lost and actually sometimes we come to a conclusion as how to respond or not respond.
By the way, in my book THE ENCHANTED SELF, A Positive Therapy I discuss in great detail the above subject.
I would love to talk further with both and all of you. Would you consider reading my book and we could discuss so many components of women's happiness so much more fully? Please let me know. I would be glad to offer a seperate e-group for that or a tele-class.
Also, I'll come back later and respond to Harriet.
All my best, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
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