Hello to everyone that is hiding out there in computerland. I am new
to this site. Actually it is the second time I've joined because the
first time I could never find anyone to chat with and nobody was
posting any messages.

I know there are 50+ members, so please someone come forward. I need
friends and support. I can't make the changes alone.

You asked what makes a moment wonderful or terrible. Well the text
book answer from the self-help books I've read would say that it is
attitude. We supposedly control how we let things affect us. If it
is a bad incident like I've had with losing my job. I tend to dwell
on that and think of all the things "I" did wrong. If it is
something good that happened, like a compliments on my website, I
tend to shrug it off as nothing. It was just a comment...that's all.
My problem is that my head "knows" what I "should" be thinking. I
just don't know how to make my heart believe anything good about
myself. It is so much a part of who I am that I think in a way I am
scared to lose that. Even if it is making me sick and miserable.
Dumb huh? I don't know how to let myself break down that high, thick
wall that I have built.

I am so tired of the depression and panic attacks. I am tired of
fighting it alone. I want more good times, but I tend to shrink away
from people. I wish that it was majic that made the difference. If
it was I'd be better after all the majic pills I take. It know it
takes persistence in trying to change my attitude on how I view
things. To stop seeing everything as negative or bad. To realize I
don't have to let people control me, or my emotions. I decide how I
want to react and feel.

I am just so overwhelmed. I have been working on this for several
years and don't feel like I'm making much progress. Please won't
some of you come out of hiding and share. I've had a really bad week
and it scares me. I'd like to have somewhere like this to come too.

Dr Holstein you have a wonderful newsletter and some great articles.
I like the exercises you suggest for us. I wish a bunch of us could
meet on here and work on them or review them or share what we
learned. I need something positive to hang on to. Okay, take care
everyone and I'll be watching to see if I get a response or if anyone
even reads this. Thanks for letting me express myself.

Shar