I just joined this group in hopes of communicating with someone who
may be able to give me information on PTSD.

I have been wondering if I have PTSD for a while but for the past
couple of months, I spend all night almost every night, having dreams
and nightmares where I am in a panic state trying to do something
to prevent something bad from happening to others or myself. The
situations vary tremendously. When I wake up, I feel as if I haven't
gotten any rest. It leaves me pretty worthless for accomplishing
anything at work or at home. I am also stumbling a lot and can't
concentrate on anything for very long and startle at the least little
thing.

I have been in emergency services since 1973 (on and off but mostly
on - EMS, Emergency Management and 9-1-1 admin) and am pretty sure I
have been in burn out for several years (since about 1983 I have
worked in postitions where I felt that my job was constantly in
jeopardy due to political crap, etc.) but am trying to hang on until
I can retire (something over two years from now for minimum
benefits).

But I am concerned that at the rate I am going, I am going to be a
basket case (or dead) before I ever get to retirement. (I have also
suffered from clinical depression on and off for several years
including suicidal plans but have convinced myself that it would be
unfair to my family. I am currently taking Remiron after a renewed
course of Prozac did not seem to be helping).

I have hypertension and some episodes of heart palpatations.

I know this sounds really whiny but if there are folks on this list
who can shed light on my situation, I would like to hear what they
have to offer.


Thanks.

"Traveler"