Scrubs

It will be interesting looking myself in the mirror in scrubs. I'll
have no gun no badge and I will miss it some days. I'll miss being who
I was and what I did in that blue uniform. I tried to save the world
one person at a time but I only realized that I needed to save myself
first and that sometimes the world isn't worth saving. I knew I was
set out to do great things in life and I did but it was time to move
on. It was time to scrape up what I had left of my humanity and
continue my quest in life to figure out who I am in life.Not what I
am. I came to a point in my life where dealing with the emotions of
the past is absolutely necessary to move forward in my journey because
it kept weighing me down. It started with the suicide of an asshole. I
never got justice he got an out. It started with that.

So far dealing with things is harder than stuffing it in my big ugly
box. I had to put down the guns and stop going to war with myself
finally. I got tired of burying my family in blue it wasn't fair the
burdens away stick with the survivors and the rest lie in peace. I
wanted to retire when I realized one day in my patrol car that I
wasn't afraid to die and I might not be so lucky next time as next
time may only be seconds away. I realized that my daughter needed a
mommy and I might deprive her of that do the job I loved and breathed
everyday. I wanted to be a good mommy so I put on my scrubs and let
her rest her head at night knowing I'll be able to come back home and
kiss her sweet dreams.