the first thing i always reccommend is getting a notebook and
starting a journal - write down everything - even the mundane - it
will help you sift thru all the thouhts in your head and things will
start to become organized...it also helps to talk about it - the more
you talk about it the easier it is to talk about it...

--- In emsfirepoliceptsd@yahoogroups.com, "judy_trapp"
<judy_trapp@...> wrote:
>
> I don't know if it matters anymore how or why I am down in this
black
> hole. I don't know if the light I sometimes catch a glimpse of is
real
> or just me wanting it to be. To those around me I look normal, I
sound
> normal but I am anything but normal. But. When you stop to think
about
> it, who and how I am today is totally a normal reaction to what
> happened. So why can't I climb up and out of where I am. Why after
5
> years I still seen and feel and dream and react and avoid like it
was
> yesterday. Why has my life continued to slope further down into
this
> hole to the point I can't work, can't handle even the smallest bit
of
> stress, I feel hopeless, helpless and so very angry. People can't
seem
> to understand that I am no longer the strong, self assured and
capable
> person I once was, they don't get it. How do I change me back or at
> least find myself, even if different from before, and quit being
> afraid, quit punishing myself for being in this hole, quit
disappearing
> into myself. All I want is to be able to live, support meself and
find
> a was to enjoy being alive again without being afraid of the world
> around me. I would like to believe again that there is good out
there
> and trust is possable.
> If anyone out there has any suggestions, please share your ideas
>