welcome to the family, my name is amy i am the founder here. you
are right to feel that you are experiencing early signs of PTSD.
catching it early is a good thing it means you can get help before
it evoles any further. I commend you, you did the right thing, and
the same thing most of us hope we would do in the same situation.
as for your friend who does not understand, some people never do.
until someone can see the devastationm up close some people will
never understand it's full effects. you are experiencing empathy for
those people you saw, met, and befriended there. your friend does
not have empathy, only sympathy. this is not always a bad thing,
but empathy is much harderer to deal with. someone who is
sympathetic says i feel bad for them. someone who is empathatic
says i can feel thier pain. i found the first step for me from
turning my empathy into sympathy was to write out everything i
feel. everything i saw and everything i did. it allowed me to
begin to remember what happened, and remember what i saw...without
reliving the feelings themselves. i can now look back and say i
remember being there i remeber being scared, hurt, angry,
terrified...but i dont feel scared hurt terrified now as i remember
it....it is remembering...not reliving. yes you didn't lose
everything you owned...but yes you did lose a piece of yourself.
You lost a sense of security you had, because u saw how those people
there had a sense of security..and it was taken away from them..and
you saw it first hand..this would affect most people..it can make
you greeatful for what you do have, or fearful of what you may
lose..most people with PTSD are the ones who go to the fearful of
what may be lost side...which causes us to relive over and over the
events...
for your friend...tell him until he has lived through it, he has no
precident to tell you how to feel..and ask him to change the
subject. he is not someone who will help u in the process of
regaining your life, but he may still be someone who can bring a
smile to your face..and smiles are always a good start.
please feel free to post anything you like, and hang around here as
long as you like..we are a family here...we don't judge
anyone..things do get better, it just takes time, and some work.
i have to get going...time to go food shopping...i will be around
later if you want to chat.

amy

--- In emsfirepoliceptsd@yahoogroups.com, "Stephanie"
<amstar1212@m...> wrote:
>
> I am a volunteer paramedic who lives in the capital region of NY.
I
> have been an ems volunteer for 12 years. August 22, 2005 I arrived
> in New Orleans to join attend a national EMS conference at the
> Morial Convention Center there. The last day of the conference was
> Saturday August 27 when I first found out that there was an
> impending hurricane getting ready to hit New Orleans. My flight
was
> scheduled to depart New Orleans Monday morning and I had no rental
> car. The hurricane hit Monday morning. I went to the Superdome on
> Sunday after the mayor announced a mandatory evacuation. I could
> have stayed at my hotel, but I wanted to find out if they needed
> help at the superdome, since it had been widely publicized that
the
> superdome was the place for all the people with medical challenges
> to go that could not evacuate. Well, living in NY State and seeing
> the massive response to 9/11 I figured there would be the same
kind
> of overwhelming response. Especially since there was a national
EMS
> conference going on with an attendance of around 5000 people.
Guess
> what? Only me and 3 people from Cincinnati showed up at the
> superdome (from the conference) to help with the medical needs of
> the thousands of people. In fact, there was not a deluge of help
and
> they needed us badly. I do not have the energy at the moment to
get
> into everything that I experienced before, during and after the
> hurricane at the superdome, but suffice it to say it was an
> experience that left me with what may now be considered PTSD. From
> what I understand, the symptoms need to last for at least a month
to
> be considered PTSD instead of Acute Anxiety Disorder. Well it has
> been over a month now, and I am still having the symptoms, there
is
> no doubt about that. I have never experienced anything like this.
At
> first, I had no idea what was happeneing, because I totally did
not
> expect it. I had nothing to reference it by since I had no prior
> experience with it. Eventually through talking to people on a CISM
> team I started to figure out what was going on. I have not been
able
> to go back to work.... at my paying job. I am getting treatment,
but
> I just recently had a really bad conversation with a man I have
> known for over 3 1/2 years. He basically has no clue what I am
going
> through and keeps telling me to snap out of it...get over it...he
> does not want to hear about it...what's wrong with me...there are
> other people who lost everything, why should I have a problem? He
> believes that what I am going through could not possibly be
realted
> to the four days I spent in the superdome...seeing and
experiencing
> everything you can imagine and MORE! Not even to mention going
> through the hurricane myself and not knowing when or if I would
get
> out of there (alive), having my own life threatened more than
once,
> sanitation, violence, death, shootings, suicides, rape, impending
> loss of generated electricity, leading to more safety and
sanitation
> issues, etc. etc. etc. What should I say to this guy? What would
you
> say to him? and what advice can you give to me in dealing with
this?
>