Hello. Its crystal again. I am so glad I found this group. I have been suffering
from this for so long with nobody to understand what i am going through. I try
to explain it to people and they just dont understand how things that happened
so long ago can still be effecting me. I have been in therapy for many years
now. but nothing seems to sooth the nightmares, the anxiety attacks, and yes the
loss of reality. I am always wondering whos the next person thats going to beat
me, rape me, and simply torment me. my problems all started when i was 5 years
old when i was molested for the first time. since then things just seemed to get
worse. i got raped for the first time when i was 13... and i reported it when i
was thrown out of my house at 16. I am 20 now and that man is still walking
free. i dont understand how people can just let him walk free when i am trapped
by the memory and the torment that he caused. therapy is an okay tool but it
just brings everything back up!!! the pain in
reinforced.... how can you overcome such pain? i just dont know.... i have had
problems in relationships because of all this... it has ruined my life and now i
am starting to rebuild my own character but its so hard when the people around
you just DONT understand..... anyways i really am happy i found this group.
signing out,
crystal

Debbie <blues5072@...> wrote:

That's just a sick puppy!!! I've been in law enforcement for 22
years and IM in yahoo is blues5072, AOL is debncops and MSN is
dispatchdebbie!!! Talk anytime, Crystal
Debbie

> Elise
> How can you write that about a person. I think you need to be
removed from the group. Crystal I am sorry that you suffer from
PTSD, I also suffer from it from being a police officer/firefighter.
If you ever want to talk just sent me a message or IM me at
minime3171@y...
> Doug
>
> Just remember take life one day at a time and enjoy it!!!
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: elise gordon
> To: emsfirepoliceptsd@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Saturday, October 09, 2004 2:15 PM
> Subject: Re: [EMS Fire Police PTSD] hi new to the group
>
>
> damn! i really feel sorry for you. you're one sad pussy. you
should stop watchin the lifetime channel
>
> cordanosfinest <cordanosfinest@y...> wrote:
> Hi my name is Crystal. I am 20 years old and suffer from ptsd.
My
> upbringing was very harsh and things have not been good for me
since.
> i have horrible nightmares, reaccurign anxiety attacks, and most
of
> all a great deal of disasociation. (yup i cant spell sorry) i
have
> gone to therapy for this, and at times it helps and at others i
look
> at my therapyst and wonder "how the heck can you possibly know
how i
> am feeling". then i feel all alone. the ptsd helps fold into my
manic
> depression. i am not looking for any pity but just someone to
talk to
> and hopefully get some kind of advice. anyways i will end here.
> thank you
> crystal





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