Hey all.

Posted a while ago about social anxiety. It's essentially just a self-esteem
issue though. I feel literally worse than everyone else on the planet and am
extremely self-conscious at parties etc. Oddly, I do fine with speeches in front
of hundreds of people. It's interpersonal stuff that throws me into self
consciousness the most.
(where I'm just hanging out with people in other words).

I do fine in "structured" social situations (i.e. job interview, as long as I
don't have to crack jokes)

It's been a longtime problem since I was 5/6/7 (not sure). I am 21 now. I'm
nearly positive it came about because of some rough experiences in kindergarten
in France (my parents moved me around frequently during my childhood as they
were aid workers in several countries). My parents said after my first year in
kindergarten I changed from an extremely outgoing kid to someone who was
reserved and "clammed up".

The problem is I absolutely CANNOT rememberer any of these "events" even
slightly.

Anyways I finally got ET to partly work, and managed to release some energy from
my chest and neck (it felt very odd! Definitely know that this works now though,
I felt absolutely blissful for several hours and felt very good for several days
after the release... the energy left through my right ear)

Now I feel like there is a mass of energy still stuck in my head. I have been
unable to remove it for 2 weeks now, and try every day. I think I MAY have been
able to get some of the energy to flow out from the very center of my head but
now there is a very very dense mass in the front of my face, also near the top
of my skull and the top back.

It's a constant dull/awkward feeling during my day, that becomes worse when
around people and makes me feel completely cut off from others.

When I try focus on it/put my intention on it, it becomes stronger and
eventually (after enough focus) begins to throb and almost becomes a self
induced headache. It pulsates when focused on like waves hitting the beach.
When I put my hands on it to help heal the energy sort of "goes away" but not in
the soften and flow sense. It just becomes more difficult to "track" and place
my intent on.

I feel like the energy is trying to move through my nose and/or teeth. Sometimes
the energy from the front of my face (mainly in my eye sockets/nose/forehead but
also top and top back) comes down to my teeth and makes them all almost hurt but
then goes back up partly. At times I feel about to sneeze from all the pent up
energy in my nostrils trying to unstuck (and I always wish I do but it never
happens!)

It seems to be very irregular in that it'll come in STROOONG for a second and
then seem to dissipate for half a second before coming back on. Again, like
waves on the beach.

I have a small amount of awkward energy still in my arms/chest/throat but it is
quite minor and I feel like all the energy in my head is the KEY area and once
it's clear I will be almost entirely healed.

Also,

I have tried using different affirmations/thoughts/situations/etc. to bring up
different energies, it's almost all energies in my head. It feels like it's
seperated into a few parts (corresponding to different issues of the larger
problem I suppose) but it's very very difficult to pin where and how because
it's all a big mass of throbbign energy that becomes stronger/weaker in
different areas almost non-stop when focused on.

I'm not sure it's shields because I can definitely feel SOMETHINg when I put my
intention on that area for long enough.

It's frustrating though because I 've spent quite a few hour long sessions
trying to get the energy to soften and flow. It's just not happening.

Any help much appreciated. I'm probably going to try to get a phone session with
an ETP but I'd love to get started on my healing right away!